If You Take for Granted, Granted You’ll Get Taken

A Tiny Life Moment “When You Have to Regroup”

The Moment

Being an actor means you get to have conversations in other people’s shoes. You’re still you, but you get to play around and share stories. CUT TO: I have an audition for a part in a feature film. Auditions are tough to come by. I’m excited. Some actors abhor auditions. I look at it as an opportunity to work regardless of the outcome.

Sometimes you have to tape auditions within a limited time. This creates its own pressure. I start to memorize lines and hope to film in a few hours. Several things are distracting me around the house but I am pushing forward. I think to myself, it will be fine, I can always wing it. Famous last words.

The Reflection.

Do you want the good news or the bad news? Well, I finished the take and sent it off, so win, right? Sort of. The whole process took twice as long as planned and during most of the taping, I was a spastic wreck. I could not remember a certain set of lines and the more I pushed, the more I deteriorated. My acting coach was doing their best to help, but in the end, you have to learn the lines.

This is not a piece on how to become a better actor. I am still figuring that out. As I melted down all I could think of was that I was a loser. I had no business in this business. My Internal Critic woke up in a blaze and crushed me and threw me around the room. It was brutal. Hey, but where’s the good news? I kept pushing through and finally finished even though there were several times I wanted to stop and run away. I’m beginning to see a pattern in my thinking.

It can take us our whole lifetime to retool but we can do it. We can always regroup.

The Takeaway

• Stay true to your process.
• Don’t rely on winging it. Know your limitations and patterns.
• Learn from failures. They are your precious resource.
• Love yourself even when you let you down.
• In Japan, there is a proverb, ”fall down 7 times, stand up 8.”
• The Beastie Boys taught me, “as long as I learn, I will make mistakes.”

Josh Kiev is an actor, chef, and will continue to make mistakes, but hopefully not the same ones.