If You Only Read One Article a Week, You Should Read This One

The secrets for increasing your sales, motivating your team, ending your fears, and improving your relationships.

As a communication consultant, I spend a lot of time looking and researching how people interact with one another. Sometimes I find invaluable tips and ideas while attending seminars, reading, or watching internet videos.

While browsing one day, I came across Simon Sinek’s TED Talk “The Why is First.” He’s been one of my favorite authors ever since.

His talks taught me the secrets of increasing sales, motivating employees, ending fear, and improving relationships, which I now share.

How to increase your views/sales

“We are social animals… If you don’t understand people, you don’t understand business.” — Simon Sinek

Simon Sinek was walking near Charleston, South Carolina when he noticed a woman on the street asking for money. He thought the idea of a homeless person asking for money and other people giving as a legitimate commercial transaction. Assuming that one person exchanges money for a sense of goodwill, while the other accepts cash.

The secret is how the homeless person persuades you to take out your wallet and give him a few dollars, is just as every corporation does. Letting you know about themselves through advertising, they exchange their products or services for your money.

Corporations sell by saying things as “We’ve added more ram, we have more rom, our product is faster, number one, we’re the biggest, the best, we’ve been around since 1969, we’re better than…” it is only me, me, me, me.

Using a small cardboard sign that reads, “I’m homeless, I’m hungry, I have three children, I’m a veteran, etc.” They try to get your money by appealing to your religion, family, veteran connections, or beliefs.

Both the homeless and the corporation are acting as takers rather than givers.

Sinek conducted an experiment on a homeless woman begging on the street. She was holding a sign that read, “I’m homeless and hungry.” She made between $20 and $30 with her sign, working all day and selling goodwill to passers-by.

Later, she made $40 in the first two hours by changing the text. She could easily make a hundred dollars or more, but she left after receiving just 40 dollars.

Perhaps the homeless woman decided she had earned enough for the day, or her mental limitations prevented her from making more.

But, how do you alter the sign?

Instead of focusing on your own needs, consider what the other person will gain by contributing their time, money, likes, or reading to your cause.

Instead of focusing the message on herself and her needs, Sinek considered what would persuade passers-by to give her money. Also, what could be their objections, and how could she overcome them? Perhaps they want to give her money but have already made a donation or do not have any cash on hand.

As a result, he addressed both points. Appealing to their desire to feel good is an excellent way to break through their objections. Recognizing they couldn’t give money to everyone, but if they only gave once a month, her cause was legitimate. As in, “I’ll still be here when you’re ready to give me some money.”

The sign said:

“If you only give once a month, please think of me next time.”

As a result, the key to increasing your views, sales, and reads is to appeal to your audience and their needs rather than on what you want or your story.

Look for what your readers will gain from the information, service, or product you provide and how their lives will change as a result. Either by appealing to their goals, dreams or appealing to them in their daily activities.

Does your product improve their lives, or will the information you share assist them in resolving a problem?

If you can’t come up with at least three ways your customer/reader will benefit from your article/offer, you’re thinking like a taker, not a giver.

Examine what distinguishes you or your product from the competition and how this can be improved by rephrasing your message.

The secret to increase your views/sales is to focus on what benefits your client, NOT you.

How to motivate the people working with you

“The real job of a leader is not about being in charge, it’s about taking care of those in our charge.” — Simon Sinek

Humans are social animals that rely on one another to survive. We rely on forming groups, communities, cultures, or countries with shared values and beliefs. A company should be a collection of people who share common values and goals. When people who share the same beliefs bond, trust emerges.

Our community will watch out for us and pick us up if we fall. We rely on the people we trust for survival, so the goal is to maximize our strengths and minimize our weaknesses regarding friends, networking, dating, or business.

Sinek illustrates this concept with the story of Noah, a barista at The Four Seasons, Las Vegas’ coffee shop.

Customers frequently left generous tips for the charming and engaging young man. Noah told Simon that managers would walk by and ask how he was doing and if he needed anything throughout the day. Not just his manager, but any manager. It made him feel supported and allowed him to be himself.

He also stated that he worked at Caesar’s Palace, where the managers would go around making sure the employees were doing everything correctly or catching them doing something wrong. People at Caesar’s Palace worked without enthusiasm, staying under the radar to avoid getting in trouble, get through the day, and make a paycheck.

Both hotel managers would have had a different experience if you had asked them. While those who work at the Four Seasons enjoy their jobs, Caesar’s Palace managers would complain about how difficult it is to get good work out of their employees.

Just as you would trust a friend’s opinion about a product or service, you want to buy. If employees trust their managers, their goals and values will resonate.

The secret to motivate your coworkers and employees is to know them and make sure they clearly understand your values and goals.

How to end your fears

“F-E-A-R has two meanings: ‘Forget Everything And Run’ or ‘Face Everything And Rise.’ The choice is yours.” ― Zig Ziglar

When Sinek was watching the London Olympics a few years ago, he noticed that when the journalists asked the athletes if they were nervous, almost all of them said the same thing: “I wasn’t nervous, I was excited.”

This answer may appear strange, but consider that when you are nervous or excited, your heart pounds, your hands become sweaty, and you feel the outcome. Elite athletes learn to interpret their nerves as excitement.

They use neurolinguistic techniques to persuade themselves that the increased pulse rate, sweaty hands, and anxiety about the future are signs of excitement, not fear.

Sinek put this theory to the test one day during a bumpy flight. Realizing he was gripping the armrest and feeling nervous, he said aloud to himself, “I’m not afraid, this is exciting,” and began to feel better.

The secret to end your fears is that when you feel nervous or anxious, remind yourself it is exciting instead.

How to improve your relationship

Do you love your wife? If so, can you prove it? What’s the metric? Give me the number that helps me know, because when you met her you didn’t love her, now you love her! Can you tell me the day love happened? — Simon Sinek.

This is a series of questions Sinek posed to the audience during his presentations. Explaining that it is all about transitions and perseverance in relationships, just as it is in life.

You go to the gym to improve your health and appearance. However, the first time you exercise, you will not feel healthier or look better in the mirror. In fact, you’ll look the same (maybe a little sweatier) and in pain.

Going to the gym regularly is what gets you in shape. You will begin to feel better and notice some changes in the mirror. This is the result of changing day by day.

It’s the same with love; it’s all about transitions. I’m not referring to “love at first sight” or “infatuation,” but to genuine, long-lasting love. The kind of love you see in all the romantic stories, or in an elderly couple walking in a park holding hands. It is much easier to demonstrate love over time.

When you first meet your significant other, you may think they are funny, pleasant, intelligent, a good talker, and even attractive/handsome, but you did not fall in love right away.

It’s the little things, like flowers, morning phone calls, a few dates, happy birthday wishes, and all the other little things that add up, like saying good morning before you grab your phone, or the time you really listened to them without interrupting or judging.

With every action, you moved closer to love, and one day, before you knew it, you realized, “Wow, I’m in love.”

We live in the age of instant gratification. We expect everything to happen immediately.

Become addicted to social media: we’re looking for a dopamine rush from our phones, whether it’s from searching for something on Google or Amazon, or winning a video game.

We are also, sending messages to our social media groups and waiting for an immediate response. The more positive comments or likes we receive, the more dopamine we produce, and with each buzz, flash, or beep, we become more and more addicted.

Which creates a dopamine-addicted society. Like alcohol, drugs, gambling, or nicotine, social media is the new fix. In contrast to the last ones, where there are restrictions, there is no minimum age for social media. It’s like allowing our children to take a shot of vodka or smoke a cigarette to get through their adolescence.

This link is hardwired in their brain, and when they feel stressed, instead of seeking help from friends or family, they turn to social media for relief. We are raising a generation incapable of dealing with stress, challenges, and confrontation. They derive their self-worth from the number of their followers and are devastated when someone unfollows them.

When they do not receive immediate satisfaction, they change jobs as well as relationships. If their boss does not promote them or questions their job, they turn a blind eye and look for a new job instead of accepting responsibility and persevering.

Similarly, when their relationship hits a rough patch. They lack the fortitude to embark on the journey and fight for love. Unsatisfied, they simply quit and swipe left, searching for a new partner.

To avoid a confrontation with someone they’ve been dating for months, they simply stop responding and ghost the other person without considering the harm they cause to their ex-partner and themselves and drowning in depression, living meaningless existences, settling for mediocre relationships, and, in the worst-case scenario, committing suicide.

To improve your relationships with your significant other, friends, and family, you must do the opposite.

The secret to improve your relationships is to persevere and take the risk of dealing with your communication problems in front of the other person, and not thru your cellphone or social media.

Take away

After reading Sinek’s books and watching his videos, I realized that in business, relationships, or life, in the end, it is not all about us but the people around us.

To succeed in life as in business, all it takes is to put the other people’s interest and focus on their needs. Find what interests the other person has and how you can fulfill them.

Listen to your coworkers and employees, understand their aspirations, and how your business can help achieve them. If you decide to work with them, explain as clearly as possible what you expect from them, your goals and values, and see if they also share them.

Forget your fears, and ‘Face Everything And Rise.’ The choice is yours to turn them into the fuel that moves you towards your goals and dreams.

Every important thing in life comes when you stop caring only about yourself, and really listen to others. Remember, change in business, friendship, relationships, and life comes through transition and perseverance.