The Guardians of the Galaxy Ride is a Blast Even If You Haven't Seen The Movies
All rides need a soundtrack like this
I thought Disney World was just an amusement park, only bigger. Having never been there before, I never understood what the big fuss was about. I thought it was all princesses and fairytales.
As it turns out, there’s plenty to fuss about.
Disney sets the standard for what a vacation park should be. One thing they do better than everyone else in the world is commit. They commit to the aesthetic of every experience, every theme, and every ride. In doing so, they disguise unsightly parts of amusement parks with entertainment and engagement.
From the moment you enter the ride queue, you are immersed in the experience. There’s no line to stand in for hours in the sun; it’s built so you’re never still for more than a few minutes. Along the way, the stage is set for you to become part of the ride itself.
My favorite ride of the week was a toss-up between Guardians of the Galaxy-Cosmic Rewind and TRON. Guardians wins because of the soundtrack alone.
For Guardians, we began by walking up a circular ramp under futuristic lighting around a supercomputer explaining how Xandarians learned about life on Earth. They called it the Galaxarium. Planets rotated above us as we walked, and we barely noticed that we had been walking uphill for several minutes.
After leaving the Galaxarium, we saw models of Xandar and Xandarian ships in stunning detail. I couldn’t help but take pictures. We watched interviews with Peter Quill — played by Chris Pratt — and we heard about the backstory of the characters. You don’t necessarily need to have seen the movies to be pulled in by the story; as the experience provides ample time to suck you in.
In short order, we were ushered into a room in a group of 40–50 people and shown a presentation that made us part of the story. Glenn Close appeared on a giant screen to welcome us and explained that we were being transported to a jump ship to see a demonstration of the Cosmic Generator. Terry Crews warned us not to take photos in a vaguely threatening and Terry Crews kind of way, then he initiated the transport sequence to the jump ship.
During the “transport,” the ship suffered a power loss, and a giant space monster named Eson made off with the Cosmic Generator, which creates jump holes in space. The Guardians couldn’t make it in time to help, so the riders became the only thing standing in the way of total galactic destruction. Rocket (the raccoon) could control the shuttles remotely, sending them back in time to track Eson. Terry Crews reluctantly agreed to this plan, and we were escorted to our shuttles.
Sitting in the dark, the anticipation was palpable. Suddenly, a tunnel of lightning formed all around us and the ride unexpectedly launched us backwards just as Disco Inferno started blasting.
We went back in time, in more ways than one. The cars spin on their own axis, leaving riders unsure of the direction they’re headed. My wife and son started in front of us, but I quickly lost track of them as we circled planets in the dark. I didn’t know whether I should dance or sing or scream, so I likely did a combination of all three. All the while, Disco Inferno made for the most fun ride I can remember. I felt giddy, like a kid again.
Maybe part of it was the fact that this trip was a dream come true. Since the day we got married, my wife had dreams of bringing our kids to Disney and sharing her love of it with them. I have always trusted her judgment with stuff like this and knew Disney wouldn’t disappoint. We had finally made it, and it was far more amazing than I thought it would be. It wasn’t just fairytales and pixie dust, it was memories and fantastic experiences. Soon the kids will be older and won’t want to do some of this stuff with us. I’m glad we did it while we could.
All four of us — together, laughing, singing, smiling — I couldn’t have felt more grateful. Wheat could it be better than this? I don’t even like disco!
I’ve been on lots of amusement park rides. This was more than a roller coaster. It was the culmination of so many things.
We were together, the kids were happy and healthy, and we had survived the first 12 years of being married with children. I didn’t expect to celebrate with Disco Inferno, but this ride highlighted what a difference a soundtrack could make.
We had a different experience each time we rode Cosmic Rewind. The ride may be the thing I remember most about our vacation. I suppose there are worse things than disco in space.
We rode Cosmic Rewind three times. The songs we heard were “Disco Inferno” by the Trammps, “I Ran (So Far Away)” by A Flock of Seagulls, and “September” by Earth, Wind and Fire. The ride has a few other songs on its setlist, including “Conga” by Miami Sound Machine, “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” by Tears for Fears, and “One Way or Another” by Blondie.
My memory will always be of Disco Inferno. The first time is always the best, and not knowing the ride even had a soundtrack beforehand boosted the surprise. Maybe I’ll be chasing this dragon for the rest of my life.