If You Can Only Be One Thing, Be Kind
In the age of social distancing, we need this more than ever
The world is having a bit of moment right now.
Collectively then, we could also say that humanity is having a bit of a moment along with it.
We are living in times of enormous change. The only certainty right now in the world is uncertainty. No one can say what life will look like in a month’s time, let alone in six months. A year in the past seems like a different lifetime, and a year in the future seems almost unfathomable.
The need for kindness, and the need for compassion, and the need for empathy, has never been stronger than it is now because the truth is…
You have no way of knowing what goes on in the minds of others
At some point, we all become self-aware enough to realise that we aren’t the centre of the universe.
It’s so easy to feel as if no one experiences thoughts or feelings the way you do. Nobody interprets their surroundings like you. Nobody gets it. How could anyone be going through anything as complex or difficult as what you are right now?
The truth is you have absolutely no way of knowing what someone is going through, or has gone through in their life. The experiences of others are invisible externally, tattooed only onto the minds and the hearts of the people who have lived them.
I knew a friend for years without knowing that as a child she had lost her father to suicide. Someone I thought I knew very well confided in me about childhood abuse that had left them struggling with an eating disorder for years into their adult life. I would’ve said I knew these people well. The reality was that I had absolutely no idea.
Remember that we are all living life. We all have a backstory. Be kind, because you just never know.
Kindness costs nothing.
It costs nothing to answer people with a smile, or be compassionate and understanding towards someone. Even if you’re in a hurry. Even if you’re having a bad day. Even if the problems at the centre of your universe are so monumental that you cannot comprehend that anyone else could be struggling with anything right now.
You can’t perceive anything beyond the fringes of your own existence. You think you’ve got it bad? Trust me, someone else has it much, much worse.
To show kindness
You’ve got two options:
- Use your words
- Use your actions
When speaking to people, ask how their day is going. Ask how they are. Make small talk. If someone apologises for something or seems stressed, reassure them. It’s no big deal. You hope they’re doing okay. Thank them sincerely and then thank them again. You don’t need fancy language to communicate kindness.
When communicating through actions, sometimes what you don’t do is as important as what you do.
You can tell they’re having a hard day, and you don’t snap at them or treat them impatiently. You don’t interrupt them or offer advice, you simply remove your ego and listen to them. Doing that one favour doesn’t cost you anything and if you have the time to spare, you should absolutely offer it.
Strive to treat everyone the same, regardless of if they are your boss, your mother-in-law or the woman cleaning the toilets with four mouths to feed at home. Treat people kindly, regardless of if they have authority above you or the power to significantly influence your life. Or regardless of whether they have something you need, or you find them physically attractive.
Treat all people the same. Be kind.
Smile at people. Ask how their day is going. Ask how they are. Make small talk. Listen. Be forgiving. Be compassionate. Go out of your way to do a favour. Say thank you. Say sorry. Say you’ll be there when they need you, and then actually show up.
It doesn’t take much.
How it changes you
When you make it a practice to treat everyone you meet with kindness and respect, you start to notice small changes.
You start feeling happier. You start feeling more accepting. You start seeing the good in people more. Your mental well-being improves. Yes, life can be tough, but you realise most people are fundamentally good. Most people want the same thing.
People like you. It seems as though people are drawn to you, and this happens quickly. A smile and some friendly words cost nothing. You remove your ego from your interactions and expect nothing in return. Suddenly, it’s easier and easier to make friends, and you have friends from all walks of life, living a multitude of different experiences.
Ultimately showing kindness to everyone breeds an optimism about the world within you.
Life is grey right now. Things are uncertain. Nobody knows what the world will look like in the months to come. When you begin to put kindness out into the world repeatedly and without discrimination, you realise that everyone benefits from it. You realise that fundamentally, we are all human. We are all living at the same time in history, experiencing the passage of time at the same, linear rate.
We’re all living, and we’re all just trying to live as best as we can.
Help the people you encounter live that little bit better. Just be kind, without discrimination.
Thank you for reading.
