“If You Build It, He Will Come”, Self-fulfilling Prophecies, and Manifesting
How everything old is new again
Recently, I’ve concluded that we like to rename and recycle everything in our culture.
I’ve been hearing a lot about Field of Dreams lately, which led me to think, isn’t the idea of “If You Build It He Will Come” a little like a self-fulfilling prophecy or the recently popular Manifesting?
This line in the movie means in the business world, and pretty much in life, that if you have a dream, put forward positive effort, and inspired action, you can make it a reality.
That sounds familiar.
There have also been times in my life when I’ve thought, “Yep, I’m definitely a psychic.”
Not in a good way, either.
Thinking a self-defeating thought, building some serious doubt about it, having it consume me, wrestling with it, then BOOM!
It actually happens.
That’s being a psychic. At least that’s what I thought.
Those times were not only frustrating, but they were also saddening. Feeling doubt around my ability to do something and then having that doubt turn into the truth can really hurt.
But worse than that, it put me in a rut of “I knew it” thinking that paralyzed me and kept me living small.
Until I learned what was really going on.
Self-fulfilling prophecies and manifesting are real.
A leading American sociologist of the 20th century, Robert Merton, coined the phrase and was responsible for the idea of “The Self-fulfilling Prophecy”.
(SFP) (1948)
“The self-fulfilling prophecy is, in the beginning, a false definition of the situation, evoking a new behavior which makes the originally false conception come true. The specious validity of the self-fulfilling prophecy perpetuates a reign of error.” — Robert K. Merton
What is a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy?
More simply put, a self-fulfilling prophecy is a belief or expectation that an individual holds about a future event that manifests because the individual holds it. (Good Therapy, 2015).
It manifests itself in our everyday lives.
Here are some ways it shows up.
Self-Doubt
This is the beginning of the self-fulfilling prophecy. If you live your life doubting yourself and your abilities, you will actually work toward making those doubts become truths.
Self-doubt is made up of exaggerated negative feelings or thoughts about yourself. When you hear those thoughts as a “voice”, it can be very convincing. So much so that if you allow those untruths to sink in, there is a pretty good chance they will keep you from moving forward with whatever it is you’re contemplating.
Even if you move ahead, you may be so apprehensive that you behave in a reluctant, unfriendly, or agitated way, causing those around you to form opinions that are consistent with those you thought.
This can be frustrating.
The key is not to let your thoughts convince you that you are not capable, worthy, or that you somehow don’t belong.
Everyone in this big world of ours, even those who we consider the biggest success stories, have felt insecure or struggled with being self-assured.
Having some self-doubt is fine. In fact, expect it. You just have to be slow to buy into what it is working hard to tell you.
A first step can ask yourself, “Is this belief true, or is this just a thought?”
The Vicious Cycle
Even the sound of this is horrifying. This cycle creates convoluted thinking of anything from work to relationships and has a significant impact on self-esteem.
When we think of a series of negative events or failures, it can lead us to anxiety and sometimes even cause us to be depressed. Sadly, these reactions will commonly escalate and build on themselves, and become what is called a “vicious cycle”.
For example, if you are insecure about your ability and feel as though everything you do at your job is subpar, then you may not put any extra effort in to do better or work harder.
That lack of effort is picked up on, which may then lead to negative feedback, confirming your belief that your work is not good.
Or, if you believe that your friends constantly leave you out, you may be inadvertently removing yourself from conversations in self-protection of what you deem “likely to happen”.
This may cause them to feel awkward about including you, and possibly even deciding not to.
Once you’re “proven right,” it’s easy to see how this could snowball into sadness and self-doubt in many areas.
The cycle looks like this:
The Prophecy in Relationships
Relationships are difficult enough but add in the prophecy, and things become more complicated. You may have been guilty of this.
I have.
If you have any kind of doubt or question about your partner or friend, it may show up in your behavior toward them. You can see how this can easily set in motion their response to your behavior in a way that is consistent with what you are communicating to them.
In short, your assumptions and actions likely influenced their behavior, which may have seeded the breakdown for good communication.
Instead, if you expect good things about your relationship and strengthen your belief that it will be a happy one, you’ll be more likely to behave in ways that support that outcome and, by doing so, create it.
The Placebo Effect
A commonly understood example of a self-fulfilling prophecy in psychology is the placebo effect (Isaksen, 2012).
The placebo effect refers to the improvements in outcomes measured in subjects of scientific studies or clinical trials, even when the participants did not receive any meaningful treatment. The participants’ belief effects the “treatment” that they experience.
Think of this as a powerful tool for your daily life. If you have a terrible headache and you just want to lie down thinking about the headache and create a story about how you’ll have this headache all day, you may have a headache that lasts longer than it should.
You believe it will, and you act as if it is already going to.
However, if you changed the story to one where getting outside for some fresh air and drinking water will help you, it may do just that.
Here’s the Good News
You hear a lot about manifesting these days. This is nothing more than weeding out any opposing beliefs around an outcome.
It is the prophecy of positivity.
For example, if you want to have more money, work to eliminate your negative thoughts about money and wealth.
If you behave as if you have more money, rather than living in lack, and build on that with stronger beliefs and positive thoughts, you may manifest that reality.
Most times, the self-fulfilling prophecy can lead to good outcomes.
Believing something is going to be great and putting a lot of positive energy around your behavior will cause you to take actions consistent with that positive belief.
This creates momentum. Good momentum.
With good momentum, curious questioning, and eliminating your negative beliefs as much as you can, you can heavily influence the outcome in a good way.
So a self-fulling prophecy or manifesting what you want in life, however you choose to name it, boils down to this: Your thoughts heavily influence your beliefs, which have a profound effect on your actions, and can move you toward the results you desire.
Good or bad, it seems as if we have a lot more control over the outcome of our lives than we think.
You don’t need a field of dreams to prove it.
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