If You Are my Friend
what is a friend to you?
If you are my friend, you are my friend for life. I rarely let you go.
Maybe I care too much as I feel your pain, your joy, your ups, your downs.
If you find yourself thinking of me, I feel that too and I reach out or you do. You may find this surprising. This has happened too many times to know that this is no mere coincidence. I know it and trust it.
The flip side is….maybe I care too much to my own detriment. While it is good to be empathetic, sometimes I am burdened by the weight. Being a life coach, I understand the need to listen, be empathetic and support you in a variety of ways and tools I have. I also know when I end the session, I hit the pause button until our next meeting.
I go back to my own life and compartmentalize what you’ve share.
When a friend is in need, it’s a different story. If it’s a myriad of friends going through difficult times, I find myself overwhelmed and want to go into a shell for protection.
While I was away in New Mexico…https://readmedium.com/the-truth-of-the-matter-0e05c8aa53c3 I received a phone called from my partner who told me he had some bad news..
One of our neighbors who we’ve only know ten months, developed cancer and he was beyond saving. “Ken” looked the healthier of the two to me. I maybe had four conversations with him but there was a connection. He was intelligent, kind and exuded a peaceful nature. His partner, “Tom” seemed the more agitated one and not as grounded. I looked forward to many more conversations with Ken
We live in a wonderful neighborhood with New England style homes and garages in the back of the homes. Our back deck faces the home of “Ken” and “Tom.” Each time I look at the beautifully well kept home the “oasis garden” they created, my heart sinks..
Yes..it was “Ken” that received the cancer diagnosis. They had been together 33 years. In the space of less than three weeks, he passed over. This hit me like a ton of bricks. I feel so sad and all I can do is try to comfort the one left behind.
Maybe it is time for me to be a bit selfish? I think about being in a cacoon of soft, warm blankets with my tuxedo next to me. I don’t want to have alot of conversation right now of any significance. Everything really is way too much..
I want to listen to soothing music and rest….to let go of this sadness.
I want to pretend this never happened but of course that is impossible.
In conclusion, I’m wondering..how do you balance your friendships with a compassionate heart and yet tend to your own heart and soul? Where is the balance?