If this is a Holiday — I want a Refund

What happened to August? Where did the summer go?

As my regular readers will know, my partner and I are currently houseless. We currently live in a tent. Some people seem to believe that we are on ‘permanent holiday’. But no, this ain’t no holiday. This is dam hard work, trying to stay alive!

This is an account of what it’s really been like living in a tent, trying to work, in the UK during August 2020. Just so you know.

Work ethic

There are no current plans in my diary for a holiday. I won’t be booking one for the next ten years. The plans placed in my diary will be for work and everyday necessities. So I can earn some money, in the hope that someday I can exchange this tent for a narrowboat.

Creativity has always been my life calling. It has taken many forms over the year. Practicing many arts and crafts, so I already knew my business would involve creating. But being fickle-minded I still haven’t settled on the WHAT!.

I started testing the waters with some small creations of jewellery. We reduced spending on even the basics so I could get some basic tools and materials. I worked on techniques and designs. Product created. And with the aid of a local shop, I began making sales.

Then the pandemic arrived. Stores shut up, everyone on lockdown. Nothing selling. So I re-thought my plans. I needed to diversify. Still wanting to explore my creative side but having limited resources, I started writing. The take-off was slow, and only earning pennies, but it gave me hope.

I only began writing in May, with a few articles under my belt. From those few articles, twenty more ideas arose in my head. If you read, you will find a breadcrumb trail through all my stories of things yet to come. In an effort of self-improvement, I sat mid-July and planned there writing and publishing.

No holiday bookings insight. I hustled for the quiet time to complete them around all the other daily chores required at home camp. Yet, everyday someone comes passed with some commentary implying I’m on holiday. Well, If this is a holiday — I want a refund! It’s akin to living the holiday from hell — unless you’re some weird Twilight Zone fan!

My ethic for getting me out of our current quagmire revolves around work and income. Its the only way to achieve the necessary funding. But it’s a constant battle. No amount of self-improvement, or planning, will reckon with the forces of Mother Nature.

Missing in action

August has been a whirlwind of unavoidable events preventing me from working. And I’d like to apologise to all my readers for my absence. I’ve been trying hard to get some work put out. But ‘life’ keeps getting in the way.

I’ve lost track of the number of pieces I’ve begun only to have them interrupted by the next ‘Lemony Snickets’ event. My concentration disrupted beyond the point of human recall. I’m left feeling like I’m banging my head against a brick wall.

In July, the sun finally decided to make a more recurrent appearance. Finally drying out the puddles and mud, I had been bailing out of the tent since November.

I had settled into a writing routine. I hadn’t settled on the best working method to get it all done. But I had managed to publish at least weekly. I planned to pick up the pace, assuming a system for work would evolve. But Mother Nature is fickle. The daily sunshine, although appreciated, brought its problems.

It began to reduce the amount of time I could work. I have no outside shelter. When outside I have to turn the screen brightness right up to compensate for the lighting. This results in my battery draining. And this ancient tablet that I’m working on takes hours to recharge! My ability to work inside was shortened by the intense heat. It was reaching 30degrees by nine in the morning.

Natures invasion and melting

The high heat brought other issues. At the beginning of August, we were invaded by rats, their burrow being overrun. They tried to eat their way into our tent. It took a couple of days to find the necessary equipment to deal with those critters. Having to empty and lift the tent, and board off their burrows to ensure they couldn’t get in. Although our camp is tidy, we did a though cleanup, investigating every corner!

Next, a couple of weeks of unbearable heat at the beginning of August. The local farmers took advantage, harvesting the fields. This led to the next invasion. The harvest mouse being evicted from their summer homes, again thinking our tent looked like a suitable alternative. One of them got into our smaller tent we use for storage. So the clean up began again.

The high temperatures reducing possible work hours again. Most days reaching 40degrees in the tent. Sending both my tablets battery and my brain into complete meltdown. Sometimes no matter what you do, technology won’t cooperate. My tablet overheating and with no fridge, only time and a cooling air would fix it.

Next, we discovered the wasps had an eye on our tent. Their rather anxious creatures at this time of year. Their hives overrunning and looking for potential new homes. Daily invasions of them in our tent have occurred throughout the month. We discovered a couple of nests close by, and have contacted appropriate people to deal with them. It’s just a waiting game!

Weathers wrath

Following the brief scorching summer came the thunderstorms. Their appearance early this year. Last year they didn’t appear until October. They were brief, short-lived, and had few strikes. Even so when you live in a tent, in the middle of a small wood, between two bodies of water — their danger is heightened.

Last year I wasn’t too worried until one strike got a little to close. The ground saturated, it was still raining. I could feel the water flowing underneath my tent. My partner away at the time. Being by myself I thought I’d settle down for the night. Then the lightning came from out of nowhere. I was in a pitch-black tent, covered in tarpaulin to prevent leaks. But the whole thing lit up like an overloaded Pavillion. A massive crack and electricity writhing through my body. No sleeping after that. I was wired for hours! Needless to say, I wasn’t looking forward to them this year.

This year we’ve had over a week of violent thunderstorms. They’ve come with heavy rain and strong winds. My partner being stuck ‘indoors’ due to the weather, leaves little room. Work being impossible, I try to distract myself. I played around with some phone apps.

The temperature in the tent had peaked at 48 degrees. Leaving little air for breathing. The noise from the rain alone measured 90 decibels, for three or four hours at a time. I sat in terror. Which disaster was going to hit us first? Lightning, flood, fire, or tree-fall. Delightful holiday options!

I could see the puddle growing in the tent. But there was nothing I could do whilst the storm was raging. Except for pray to my Pagan Gods and Goddesses to keep us safe, warm, and dry. And wonder what delightful terror they would betroth on us next!

We only had a couple of days reprieve from the thunder when storm Ellen arrived bringing 70mph winds. And then a day or so later storm Francis with 80mph winds. Storm Ellen passed without to much damage here. But Francis battered our beloved trees. Taking several branches, and leaving massive scars behind. Thankfully, nothing feel in the direction of the tent.

The clean-up

It’s almost the end of the month, and I still haven’t got a single piece of writing completed. I’m beating myself up at this point. Why can’t I get my brain to focus on the job in hand? Coz I have to clear up camp from storm damage. And I’m sure whilst doing so I hear a snake rummaging about in the undergrowth. There have been local sightings of adders. That better not think it’s going to live my tent!

The fallen branches cant be rescued. We take anything suitable for cuttings, replanting them, the rest is firewood. All the time the storm was raging resulted in very little sleep. Early night, finally getting some sleep. Early morning and nicer day meant my partner could finally get out of the tent. I finally thought I could settle to some work. But, NO. CRT appeared with their chainsaws and strimmers to clean up along the canal!. Another day’s lost work!

The rapid rainfall this month has refilled the dyke and canal, between which our tent sits in a little wood. They are both currently at risk of flooding. Usually their not this high for another couple of months. Any boats moored are at risk of becoming beached like whales. They’re keeping the locks open to prevent breaching. But now all I can feel is the constant flow of water — shaking the ground beneath me. I’m not sure how we will fair here this winter!

Techno issues

When I finally turn on my tablet I find half my programming and memory wiped out by its meltdown. I’ve had to wipe it all clean and find alternative programming and restart every piece of writing again.

To top it all off — we’ve all had the whole T&C’s saga and site cloning issues. Well, I’ve also had copyright infringement issues elsewhere. Which has now led to me withdrawing my art and jewellery from the local outlet I was using. I’m looking for a new sales outlet. possibly online — but need to research to reduce costs — since every penny I make goes towards saving for a new home. And I cant wait to get off this mud!

Hitting reset

September has to be a better month. I’m getting an early start. Before the forces that be, set against my efforts again. The weather has improved — but it now feels like autumn. Who knows what that season might throw at me. For now, I have to go find new bedding as ours is completely trashed from the indoor puddle. Having only been replaced a month before.

So, after all, that I’ve hit the reset button on all my productivity plans. New software installed — a new beginning! I’ve produced a list of articles. I’m striving for thirteen a month, unlucky for some, but still not proven to me. I’m running with it! what else could go wrong? I’ve planned some design time for art. I’ve already written at least 1800 words in this article. Goes towards my goal of publishing a million words — why set the barriers low?

But I’m asking for forgiveness from my readers upfront — in case Mother Nature throws all her wrath at me again. I’m not sure what I did to upset her in the first place!

So if you’re a regular reader, and I seem to go AWOL again. Forgive me? And know I’m working my hardest to find some productivity method to quell the wrath of Mother Nature.

If any of you know where I can inquire about that holiday refund, let me know. I’m surely not booking with this company again!

Rhoda anne (aka CruzinJewlz) is a struggling houseless artist, crafter and writer. Creating art Jewellery and handmade gifts from vintage, reclaimed and repurposed materials. T-shirt and apparel design at Redbubble. And writing poetry, short fiction and prose.

I am currently all the things above! Unfortunately, I am not Psychic! Sign up to my newsletter for all my links and updates.