If Something Feels Weird, it Probably Is.

So, get it checked out.

INT. BATHROOM — DAY

Steamed-up. A woman, in the shower, barely discernible through the “fog.” We push in to get a clearer view. Her body is lean, toned. She stands directly under the shower head, her face turned upward, eyes closed. She luxuriates in the hot water streaming down her body. Absolution, courtesy of Koenig.

INT. BEDROOM — MOMENTS LATER

The woman enters the room, a towel wrapped around her body. She pulls clothes from the closet…the bureau…and lays them on the bed. Her back to the mirror, she blots herself dry and lets the towel fall. She turns toward the mirror and the color drains from her face as she stares at the LUMP over her right breast. Clearly visible, under the skin.

That was me, four years ago. The God damned lump was mine. I stood, transfixed, as if mimicking a scene from “Alien,” waiting for the monstrosity to burst from my chest with a spray of blood and clots of tissue.

I had a lumpectomy for breast cancer on February 13th, 2015. Thankfully, as it was caught early, it hadn’t spread to my lymph nodes, so I was able to forgo chemo. I had four weeks of daily radiation, instead.

Most people don’t “see” lumps in their body. Not the breast cancer kind, anyway. At least, not that I’m aware of.

Previous to my Sigourney Weaver moment, I had lost a lot of weight. On purpose. I finally decided to get serious and cut carbs, ate lots of lean protein and veggies, and worked out as I never had, before. Oh, I always exercised, but in retrospect, it was kind of bullshit exercise.

Once I incorporated hand weights into my routine, everything changed. I developed muscle definition, lost pounds and reduced my body fat to the point where I was able to see that “thing.”

After intoning that the mass was indeed, malignant, the radiologist, seeing the shock registering on my face, said, “Losing weight probably saved your life.”

Men and women, I’m telling you this, not to document my “weight loss journey,” but to caution you that, if something in or on your body feels weird to you, or wasn’t there before or…anything…make the call and see your doctor.

As I thought about it, I actually did feel the lump before I was blessed enough to see it.

When I was heavier, and going through my half-assed workouts, anytime I lay on my stomach, I felt something strange in my right breast. Stupidly, and inexplicably, I chalked it up to scar tissue from surgery to remove a benign cyst, when I was twenty-one. Oddly, my new “thing” was almost in the exact same spot, but doctors told me that the two incidents were unrelated.

So, given that I waited until I lost weight and saw the lump, I truly WAS blessed.

You know your body. Or should. You know what feels “normal” and what doesn’t. Or should.

From Reader’s Digest, the following are health symptoms you should never ignore.

Pressure or tightness in the jaw, neck or arm. Could be indicative of a heart attack, so get thee to an ER.

Leg pain that occurs only on one side. Probably a pulled muscle, but could also be indicative of deep vein thrombosis. In other words, a blood clot in an internal vein.

Persistent headaches. There is a myriad of reasons for this, so no need to freak out. Something as simple as sinus pressure or allergies could be the culprit. That said, if headaches are accompanied by nausea, vomiting or visual changes, see a doctor, stat, to rule out a possible tumor or stroke.

Sudden groin pain. Guys, if your privates feel as if someone delivered a good, swift, kick, you may need surgery, for what is known as “testicular distortion,” which happens when spermatic cords get twisted. According to Men’s Health, you should wait no longer than 12 to 24 hours to get treated or you could risk losing your testicle. (I’m sorry, but it had to be said.)

Moles that itch or bleed. Get these checked right away, to rule out melanoma. The American Academy of Dermatology advises following the ABCDE rules when it comes to moles: asymmetry, border, color, diameter, and evolving. Changes in any of those categories can be red flags.

Fruity smelling breath. This sounds pretty innocuous, doesn’t it? Yet, it’s one of the symptoms of diabetic ketoacidosis, which means your blood sugar is spiking because your body doesn’t have enough insulin. Get to the ER immediately if you’re also experiencing dry mouth, fatigue, or labored breathing.

Shortness of breath. A no-brainer, as this could be indicative of tuberculosis, pulmonary edema, fibrosis, obesity, lung cancer, or asthma.

Coughing up or vomiting blood. Enough said.

Sharp abdominal pain. We’ve all experienced this. Normally, excess gas is the cause, but if it continues, see a doc to rule out appendicitis, irritable bowel syndrome, pancreas and gallbladder issues, and the like.

Unusual lumps, bumps and other weird “things.” You know what to do, by now, right?

Okay. You get the picture. I’m not trying to scare the hell out of you. Quite the opposite. I want you to learn from my carelessness. I cannot afford to be scared of going to the doctor anymore — which I pretty much had been, my whole life — and neither can you.

One more thing, and this is directed toward you women, especially: God knows, it’s hard as hell, but do what you must to keep to a healthy weight. Too much fat equals too much estrogen, which was the cause of my breast cancer.

To everyone: Be alert. Be aware. Be in charge of your own well-being.

Next week is my yearly mammogram. I’m going to keep a good thought. After all, what other choice is there?

Sherry McGuinn is a longtime Chicago-area writer and award-winning screenwriter. Her work has appeared in The Chicago Tribune, Chicago Sun-Times and numerous other publications. Sherry’s manager is currently pitching her newest screenplay, a drama with dark, comedic overtones and inspired by a true story.