If Match Group Loses Its Lawsuit, Will Dating App Users Go To Rehab?

A class action lawsuit accuses Match Group of using “predatory” practices. They have a pretty solid case.

Recently, Match Group, which owns Tinder, Hinge, OkCupid, and the League, was sued for an alleged addictive business model. The class action suit accuses the dating app giant of using "predatory" and dopamine-manipulative algorithms and practices.

If your gut reaction is a big ole' eye roll, you are not alone. Match representatives dismissed the suit, calling it "ridiculous" and claiming, "We actively strive to get people on dates every day and off our apps. Anyone who states anything else doesn't understand the purpose and mission of our entire industry."

Oh, trust me. Anyone who has used a dating app post-pandemic knows your mission— to keep users single, desperate, and swiping until their pubes turn gray. (Not a personal reference…yet.)

Sorry, Match geniuses, I am not buying it. No one designs a product hoping people will stop using it. A dating app is not a nicotine patch or the free version of TurboTax.®

But this legal melee begs a deeper question. If the plaintiffs win their case, how will dating app addicts find help? We know how to treat gambling disorders, but how do we treat "dating app disorders"?

Will we send addicts to a dating app addiction retreat, where we confiscate their phones and make them recite personal affirmations while sipping detox tea through bedazzled Stanley Cups? (Asking for at least a dozen addicted friends.)

To determine whether dating apps qualify as addictive, we must first unpack the psychology and neuroscience of addiction.

So, pull up a seat and play armchair psychologist with me…

How dating app users became gambling pigeons

Before examining the nuts and bolts of addiction, we must understand how we got into this mess.

During World War II, the psychologist B.F. Skinner worked on a program called Project Pigeon. Skinner's goal was to understand the power of operant conditioning — a method of learning that involves associating behaviors with specific outcomes.

In his pigeon experiments, food was dispensed into a tray when the pigeons pecked at a target. Over time, the pigeons associated pecking with getting a tasty treat. But then Skinner changed the rules. Sometimes, their pecking led to a food reward, and sometimes…big fat nothing. This unpredictability caused the pigeons to peck more frequently. In other words, the pigeons became pecking addicts.

Casinos stole a page from Skinner's handbook and designed slot machines to manipulate the brain's reward system. Research has even found that slot machine users are three to four times more likely to become gambling addicts than those who play cards or bet on sports. Today, slot machines account for as much as 80% of a casino's profits. That's a lot of gambling pigeons.

The swipe mechanism on dating apps operates on a similar principle. Users are presented with potential matches in a randomized fashion, and they must swipe right or left to indicate their interest or disinterest. Like slot machines, users are conditioned to associate their swiping behavior with the possibility of finding a match, even though the reward is ultimately uncertain.

Now, here's the smoking gun in this case. In interviews, co-founder Jonathan Badeen admitted that he based Tinder's swiping mechanism on Skinner's experiments.

Now, I am no trial lawyer, but if the founder of a company admits that his entire product is based on the same psychological manipulation casinos use, then shouldn't we treat dating apps like gambling?

Unfortunately, defining addiction in humans is not as simple as hungry pigeons. If you want to get any mental health worker to instantly tighten their sphincter, just use the word "addiction" casually. Like, "I am so addicted to coffee, I would shoot it into a vein.” It's funny to coffee addicts. Not so much to the folks with the fancy degrees.

The word addiction is so squirrelly that the bible of psychiatry — The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) — doesn't use the word addiction. Instead, they use the term "Substance-Related Disorders."

To qualify, a patient must exhibit the following:

1. Impaired Control Impaired control is difficulty managing how frequently or how much of a substance you use. When you eat an entire bag of potato chips or check your text messages every 10 minutes, you have impaired control. With dating apps, many users find themselves mindlessly swiping without coming up for air. In one informal survey, users confessed to spending 5.83 hours weekly on dating apps. That’s a lot of “Hey, beautiful” spam messages.
2. Social Problems Social problems are when something causes issues in your relationships or harms your interactions with others. Judging by the conversation skills of most dating app users, many people have forgotten how to talk to strangers in the real world. More alarming, those who experience frequent dating app rejection might further withdraw from society.
3. Risky Use Risky use is pretty obvious — does this product expose users to harm? According to a recent Pew Research Center study, 38% of online dating users have been sent a sexually explicit message they didn't ask for, and 6% have had someone threaten to harm them physically. More disturbing, a recent meta-analysis found that between 57 and 88.8% (mostly women) have been sexually harassed by someone on a dating app. And despite users clamoring for more protective measures, dating apps have done little to screen out predators.
4. Physical Dependence Physical dependence is when your body has gotten so used to something that you struggle to function without it. Of course, dating apps don't cause shaking with withdrawal, but mentally, you're definitely craving that next hit of validation or excitement.

It's the last one that causes psychologists to split hairs. Does a substance have to be physically addictive to classify as an addiction?

More recent neurological research takes a broader stance. Studies have found that behavioral addictions (gambling, shopping, or scarfing down a pint of Ben n' Jerries) trigger a flood of beta-endorphins — the hormones produced in the brain that lift mood and suppress pain.

Think of beta-endorphins as the brain's in-house cheerleaders rallying you to keep playing. Except their cheer is, "Hey, Endorphins! Get down, get hard, get mean, B-E-A-D-D-I-C-T-I-V-E, Go Morphine!" (That might need some work.)

Bad jingles aside, in this expanded definition of addiction, it's not just about chemicals anymore. It's about chasing that sweet, sweet feeling of euphoria, whether from a syringe or a pint of ice cream. Of course, some substances are more addictive than others, but your brain doesn't always discriminate between chemical addiction and behavioral addiction.

Usually, a product must exhibit three characteristics to cause compulsive behavior. First up, we've got opportunity. With dating apps, it's like having an all-you-can-eat singles buffet, 24/7. Check.

Next, there's the thrill of unpredictability. That dreamy profile pic with the handlebar mustache might lead to an Austenesque romance (definitely a personal reference) or…Mr. Darcy could vanish into the digital abyss. It's like playing Russian roulette with your dopamine receptors.

Last, but not least, we’ve got the ease of repetition. Pull that slot handle, swipe right, left, or keep scrolling. Sometimes, you hit the jackpot, and sometimes, you hit three dick pics in a row.

It's a vicious cycle of opportunity, unpredictability, and repeatability. Before you know it, you're knee-deep in compulsive behavior, wondering why you haven't put on pants in days.

Of course, the wizards behind the curtain know exactly what they're doing. In its simplest terms, all addiction is subverting pain with pleasure. And anyone who has ever got their heart dinged knows dating can get root canal painful.

Still, Match Group’s defenders make a valid argument. They claim we are all big kids playing in this sandbox. It’s up to the user to use the product responsibly. Every developer designs their product for engagement. If keeping people engaged is a sin, then writers are guilty (or not) every single day.

However, there’s a fine line between entertaining the unwashed masses and bringing them to the cleaners with addictive algorithms. Candy Crush doesn’t break anyone’s heart or confidence.

And yet, Hinge continues to use the tagline, “Designed to be deleted,” thereby insulting our intelligence. It might not be addictive practices, but it is false advertising.

If you worry that you are among the addicted, I shall offer you a salve for your blistered swiping thumb.

It's human nature to try to escape pain, even though few outrun it. The solution is easy but not simple — Stop running. Get off the damn apps and meet people the old-fashioned way. Go to meetups, parties, or networking events. Join a gym, take a class, or harass your hot friends to introduce you to other hot single people.

Dating apps once seduced us by making a painful task less painful. If you are finding more pain than pleasure, it's time to hit delete.

Carlyn Beccia is an award-winning author and illustrator of 13 books. Subscribe to Conversations with Carlyn for free content every Wednesday, or become a paid subscriber to get the juicy stuff on Sundays.