If It Hasn’t Happened to You, Silence May Be the Best Option

Just over twenty years ago, I arrived at work one morning and found out that one of my coworkers, “Carol,” had just lost her only son in a tragic car accident. My fellow employees and I were both shocked and saddened.

Carol was off work for several weeks, then attempted to return. A couple of days after she returned, something triggered emotion within her, and she announced that she was going home.

I was proud of her for merely attempting to return, and I understood how something could trigger her sadness and cause her to want to leave.

I was disappointed when I overheard two coworkers talking. One of them said to the other, “Not working ain’t gonna bring him back.” The other replied, “You know, if it was me, I’d have to work.”

I knew that neither of those two coworkers had ever lost a child. How could they stand there and talk about Carol like that?

I was reminded of when I’d had a miscarriage ten years prior at eleven weeks of pregnancy. There were people around me who severely criticized me for mourning the loss of my unborn child. I found out that some talked about me behind my back and what they thought I should and should not do. Most of these people had never had a miscarriage or even been pregnant.

I recall times when I overheard individuals talking badly about parents because they disagreed with the way the parents were raising an autistic child. Here’s the thing. Those doing the criticizing had never raised an autistic child and had no idea what that entailed.

I have heard people condemn the way someone dealt with a cancer diagnosis when they had never had to deal with such a thing.

It seems as though those who’ve never been through a particular situation somehow know more about it than anyone else.

Beloved reader, let’s decide not to speak badly of others and how they may handle a challenging situation, especially if we haven’t been through it ourselves. Let’s try to understand, be helpful, and remember that if it hasn’t happened to us, silence is most likely the best option.

Thank you for reading!