If I Was Donald Trump’s Lawyer
This outline is in defense of our former President, Donald Trump.
The former actor and business entrepreneur has earned his right to a fair trial in my eyes. I will now present my defense case, in showing to the court that Donald Trump, although having had several harsh lapses in judgment, cannot be impeached based on the crimes the Plaintiff has brought to court.

Whatever list of charges you have compiled against my client with regards to the matter at the Capitol in January, it has been collected with nearly ninety percent of the actual information, redacted. The fact that we are even holding this court case on a now former President in office, is just a political move to prevent my client from revealing to the greater World, the secrets that the current delegates that hold office, are now keeping from the people. This impeachment trial is not only a disgrace to our democracy, but it is merely a jest, in order to distract the people that we should be taking care of. By taking care of, you know what I mean; being honest, and conducting business and politics in a fair, ethical manner.
Our Founding Fathers believed that they needed to come together to discuss the important matters, of all creatures great and small; to create a new Nation. No matter the disagreement, they remained in session furiously debating the proper build for a Constitution that would be closest to God. They succeeded — with the exception of the 3/5’s slave clause; an error that has rung for all eternity. My apologies in advance Mr. Trump, for if I was to come to your aid in your defense, it would be pointless if I wasn’t honest. The man is a businessman, plain and simple. He has had the unfortunate experience, of being born into money. Privileged, with the ability to live in America, from a father who was a Russian Immigrant. He has had enough time in the field of macroeconomics, that he has had what are called “unsavory business contacts” My defendant, has connections all over the World; not just from within his reaches and exposure gained from being President. Anything from the KGB, to even criminals in contact with the most heinous underground empires on the face of the Planet. Those of you here trying to testify against him even know his name. Now do you see why it is pointless to testify against him? Not because he has you all sewn up in self-assured mutual destruction, but because this entire government is falling apart; ravaged by sin and eugenics. This is the end of my opening statement. Your Honor, I have no further comments. However, I would like to have some time to cross-examine the key members, bringing these charges against my defendant…





