Idolizing Other People Can Have a Negative Impact on us

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Abstract

eak during the adolescent years of a person. Those are the years when the person is most vulnerable and looks for a role model. Following a role model is the easiest step someone can take in order to become as successful and happy as the role model. But this easy step need not always be that fruitful as far as achieving the end goals are concerned.</p><h1 id="6b90">Caveats</h1><p id="3a65">A perfectly happy person will not have the need to idolize any other person. It is when we are unhappy with certain aspects of ourselves that we look outside for people who tend to be perfect and start idolizing them. But this has many caveats:</p><ul><li><b>Not addressing the real problem:</b> The real problem (such as certain subconscious fears) might be within us but since we do not know of a way to deal with them we take the easy route and that is to idolize someone else e.g. a person may not be that good at studies because he has many subconscious fears but since the person does not know how to deal with them, he looks for friends who are good at studies and start following them.</li><li><b>More frustration: </b>No person can be like any other person. When we try to follow someone we do not take into account that every person has followed a different path in their life. Moreover, the inner tendencies are also different for different people. Thus it will only raise frustration when we want to follow someone and are not able to do so.</li><li><b>Following bad aspects of the person we idolize</b>: We say <b>love is blind</b>, in a similar manner <b>idolizing is also blind</b>. We just do not follow the good aspects of the person we idolize but also imbibe upon the bad qualities e.g. if the celebrity whom we idolize is into drugs then we will also be inclined towards having an acceptance towards drugs. This behavior is dangerous.</li></ul><h1 id="d986">Solution</h1><p id="2a7e">To deal with the drawbacks of idolizing someone, a person may take the following steps:</p><ul><li><b>Analyze one’s abilities in a proper manner</b>: It is one of the toughest things to do e.g. someone may consider that he may be successful in the music field but he doesn’t have the required talent. Though there are certain skills that we can learn by practice, one also needs to have some level of talent as well. Not everything can be taught. For such people idolizing some great singers may only lead to frustration. He should analyze properly if his talent can be honed

Options

so that he can become a good singer. If not then he should look for some other field.</li><li><b>Handle subconscious fears: </b>This is the area where most of the inner work should go. A person might be capable of attaining success in a particular field but the subconscious fears might be holding him back. Such people should practice catharsis to get rid of the subconscious fears e.g. a person may not be a good presenter because he has many subconscious fears. One of the subconscious fear might be a fear of criticism. He should think about all the earlier instances in his life when he felt vulnerable when others criticized him. He should then apply the process of catharsis on all such major incidents and get rid of this fear. Maybe after that, he will become a good presenter. Details of catharsis have been explained in the following articles: <a href="https://link.medium.com/D184sktEf7">The process of catharsis explained in terms of software development analogy </a><a href="https://link.medium.com/vTyc5pKld7">Does an empty mind make you feel restless?</a></li><li><b>Name and fame is not everything</b>: One should realize that a person with name and fame can also be miserable. It is no doubt that most people want to get them but it is not a passport towards a happy life. If a person’s basic needs are met then it is his state of mind that determines if the person is happy or not. I think a person who is not that famous but is happy is better than many of the celebrities.</li></ul><h1 id="41bf">Idolizing has some benefits too</h1><p id="9405">People who excel in their fields have certain characteristics. Though it is true that people can have different characteristics and yet be successful in the same field. But certain qualities such as humbleness may be worth imbibing e.g. a singer may be successful and yet be humble. We find that this is true for the majority of the good singers who sustain their position. Thus after careful analysis, we should also make it a point to have this quality.</p><h1 id="a257">Conclusion</h1><p id="0a85">Idolizing someone has a very limited benefit and as much as possible we should refrain from doing it. We should ideally have self-trust and work upon our subconscious fears so that we ourselves become happy. It actually requires tremendous inner courage to not depend on someone else for guidance and just follow our inner voice to guide us in the path towards success and happiness.</p></article></body>

We lose trust and belief in ourselves by idolizing

Every person in this world is unique and hence one should live life the way it suits him. Idolizing any other person pulls us away from our own needs and desires as we try to imitate the other person in every aspect. We should understand that no person is perfect. Even if the other person is happy it is because he is following a path that suits him. The same path need not provide fulfillment to us. In this article, I shall delve deeper into this topic and shall provide insights.

Idolizing starts early in life

When we are small we do not know what is correct and acceptable in society. This invariably makes us follow the directions of our elders in the family so that we behave in an acceptable zone.

As we grow older we start following friends and celebrities who are happier than us and are adept at the field that we want to be good at.

More happy than us: Happiness and confidence are something we all have a longing for but based on our inner tendencies and the family, friend circle, and society we live, we may or may not get it. When we do not get happiness in real life we are clueless as to how to achieve it and the easiest solution is to follow the footsteps of someone whom we feel has achieved it. Celebrities normally are people with high confidence and at least show outward happiness, so we tend to idolize them.

Adept in the field we want to be good at: Say a person wants to be good at science and maths but somehow is not able to do well in these subjects. Then there are some of his friends who excel in these subjects. This naturally makes the person inclined towards following those friends. He will shower praise for them and will imitate each and every aspect of their behavior. Apart from his friends or colleagues, he may even start idolizing scientists or other luminaries in the field.

Idolizing someone is at its peak during the adolescent years of a person. Those are the years when the person is most vulnerable and looks for a role model. Following a role model is the easiest step someone can take in order to become as successful and happy as the role model. But this easy step need not always be that fruitful as far as achieving the end goals are concerned.

Caveats

A perfectly happy person will not have the need to idolize any other person. It is when we are unhappy with certain aspects of ourselves that we look outside for people who tend to be perfect and start idolizing them. But this has many caveats:

Not addressing the real problem: The real problem (such as certain subconscious fears) might be within us but since we do not know of a way to deal with them we take the easy route and that is to idolize someone else e.g. a person may not be that good at studies because he has many subconscious fears but since the person does not know how to deal with them, he looks for friends who are good at studies and start following them.

More frustration: No person can be like any other person. When we try to follow someone we do not take into account that every person has followed a different path in their life. Moreover, the inner tendencies are also different for different people. Thus it will only raise frustration when we want to follow someone and are not able to do so.

Following bad aspects of the person we idolize: We say love is blind, in a similar manner idolizing is also blind. We just do not follow the good aspects of the person we idolize but also imbibe upon the bad qualities e.g. if the celebrity whom we idolize is into drugs then we will also be inclined towards having an acceptance towards drugs. This behavior is dangerous.

Solution

To deal with the drawbacks of idolizing someone, a person may take the following steps:

Analyze one’s abilities in a proper manner: It is one of the toughest things to do e.g. someone may consider that he may be successful in the music field but he doesn’t have the required talent. Though there are certain skills that we can learn by practice, one also needs to have some level of talent as well. Not everything can be taught. For such people idolizing some great singers may only lead to frustration. He should analyze properly if his talent can be honed so that he can become a good singer. If not then he should look for some other field.

Handle subconscious fears: This is the area where most of the inner work should go. A person might be capable of attaining success in a particular field but the subconscious fears might be holding him back. Such people should practice catharsis to get rid of the subconscious fears e.g. a person may not be a good presenter because he has many subconscious fears. One of the subconscious fear might be a fear of criticism. He should think about all the earlier instances in his life when he felt vulnerable when others criticized him. He should then apply the process of catharsis on all such major incidents and get rid of this fear. Maybe after that, he will become a good presenter. Details of catharsis have been explained in the following articles: The process of catharsis explained in terms of software development analogy Does an empty mind make you feel restless?

Name and fame is not everything: One should realize that a person with name and fame can also be miserable. It is no doubt that most people want to get them but it is not a passport towards a happy life. If a person’s basic needs are met then it is his state of mind that determines if the person is happy or not. I think a person who is not that famous but is happy is better than many of the celebrities.

Idolizing has some benefits too

People who excel in their fields have certain characteristics. Though it is true that people can have different characteristics and yet be successful in the same field. But certain qualities such as humbleness may be worth imbibing e.g. a singer may be successful and yet be humble. We find that this is true for the majority of the good singers who sustain their position. Thus after careful analysis, we should also make it a point to have this quality.

Conclusion

Idolizing someone has a very limited benefit and as much as possible we should refrain from doing it. We should ideally have self-trust and work upon our subconscious fears so that we ourselves become happy. It actually requires tremendous inner courage to not depend on someone else for guidance and just follow our inner voice to guide us in the path towards success and happiness.