Ideas to Transform Your Life Into A String of Joyful Moments
Science shows that success does not make us happy.
What is success?
The answer is simple.
Happiness.
However, achieving it seems like Mount Everest or the mystical land of El Dorado. Up to this day, still many people are in search of the greatest treasure. They say success will make you happy. I choose the other way around. Only happiness can make you successful.
The assumption that we must persist in search of that success to become happy has been deeply ingrained into our subconscious through hustle culture, the American Dream and Cinderella stories.
‘Self-improvement empire’ statistics reported by Market Research state that by 2022 it will have an estimated growth of $13.2 billion with 5.6% average yearly gains. Now, more than ever, people are hungry for improving the quality of their lives and are willing to spend a fortune on becoming more.
Through that carrot-and-stick approach, we were taught to perceive happiness as something external: that job, that relationship, that holiday destination. ‘Faster. Harder. Better’ became the new hallmark of a hustling movement.
For a long time, I have also bought into this myth.
I used to believe hard work meant immune self-esteem, success, and happiness. Striving for more enjoyed a prime spot in every endeavour I have taken up. I used to believe that hard work defines success.
And what the success is?
Fancy job? Big apartment? Fast cars?
I chased happiness relentlessly. I was looking for it in a steady and fancy corporate job, a luxurious, splendid relationship. Although I may have found comfort and short-lived satisfaction, I have never experienced blissful joy through the above-mentioned pursuits.
As it turns out: Success has no bearing on creating a happy life. It is quite the opposite. Your happiness is fuel for your successes. It affects your surroundings, people you interact with. Success does not guarantee happiness. It never had, and never will.
Research suggests that positive emotions such as excitement, joy, and serenity promote success in the workplace.
These studies showed that people who are made to feel positive emotions set more ambitious goals, persist at challenging tasks for longer, view themselves and others more favourably, and believe they will succeed. How you view yourself and the world around sets the tone for your success.
Happiness cannot be travelled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.
— Denis Waitley
After all, it is not the mountain top you are striving to achieve that guarantees happiness. It is the journey of becoming which is madly thrilling; the process of venturing to the top, not the upper ladder itself.
It is not necessarily the view or the perfect picture that counts, but the journey of climbing that mountain that makes it exceptional. Happiness and satisfaction stem from the strength and courage you have shown, obstacles you fought through, and how passionately can you recount lessons learned.
What does happiness mean to you?
We tend to connect happiness with an optimistic outlook on life. When in fact, your definition of happiness may be a far cry from your friends’ or your parents’ notion.
First, you need to become aware of what happiness entails to you specifically. It is not just ecstatic moments, sunny days and a goofy circle of friends.
Happiness can stand for peace, acceptance, feeling of enoughness. It allows you to bask in the grand moment of your life, but it also aids in facing challenges with clarity and reliable self-belief. You tackle unfavourable circumstances better than you would if feeling frustrated, angry or defeated.
Happiness can stand for little things, like tiny rays of mindfulness of the present moment peaking through your busy day.
Happiness may be the realization that your loved ones will not be here forever, but you appreciate them now as well as the beautiful moments you get to share together. Most importantly, you have the privilege to love them.
Happiness may be the ability to see perfection in every moment, especially the one filled with imperfections that do not quite fit into our dream-like plans.
Happiness may be seeing yourself in the mirror, phone screen, and fully accepting the reflection, no matter how far it gets from the perfect image constituted from your expectations.
Happiness may be the awareness that today may not be the best day, but tomorrow you can create a better one. Tomorrow is free of any mistakes.
How to achieve this state of contentment within yourself?
Happiness grows inside you. It is something you tender to daily through awareness and space for all of your emotions, understanding of your crappy days, appreciation of your all days, finding meaning in every detail on your journey.
Bring passion to whatever you are doing.
Many people confuse happiness with finding that one passion in life. This might sound a little far-fetched. But instead of trying to find that one promise for a successful life, develop passion in loving and taking care of yourself.
Find kindness in feeding your body by becoming passionate about the way you prepare your food.
Passionately marvel at sunrise and sunsets.
Make art out of your way of living, the way you speak, the way you walk, the way you look in the mirror. You are not an ordinary human being. Nothing about you is mundane. Demonstrate it through your way of living.
Do you think it is gibberish? Then you have no passion inside you. Because if you had, you would perceive it all around you.
I get it. Sometimes we don’t even want to get out of bed. Then do it marvellously. Lay passionately in bed, relish in the comfort of it, and make the way you indulge in that chocolate a masterpiece. Own up your bad day by performing it passionately.
You don’t just stumble upon an extraordinary day, a successful career or a compassionate relationship. You sculpt them with time.
What attitude are you wearing today?
Live passionately. It is not a cliché. It is a privilege.
Establish gratitude as your daily ritual.
The wellness world abounds in gratitude journals and practices, but the hype is backed by hard science.
When we express gratitude, our brain releases dopamine and serotonin, the two crucial neurotransmitters accountable for making us feel good.
Research into the physical consequences of gratitude shows that it improves your sleep quality and reduces feelings of anxiety and depression. What is more, levels of gratitude correlate to feeling more optimistic and constructive and reduces the risk of heart failure and inflammation.
Gratitude activates the hypothalamus as well, with downstream effects on metabolism, stress, and various behaviours.
Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgiving, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.
— William Arthur Ward
Neuroscientists recently traced a link between increased alpha brain waves, either through electrical stimulation or mindfulness and meditation, and the ability to reduce depression and increase creative thinking.
Start your meditation with enumerating blessings you get to be thankful for in your life, that day and program your mind on gratitude frequencies first thing in the morning. Once you give order to your subconscious mind, it listens and grants your wishes. After all, the subconscious runs your life.
Instead of focusing on acquiring more from the outside, you need to shift your focus inwards to what you already have in your life at the present moment.
30 little things that truly bring me joy:
There is no fake humbleness behind them, no pretence. After accumulating lots of stuff, stifling emotions and finally curing them by letting go technique, I am able to fully immerse in simple happiness that arises to miracles.
- that first taste of strawberry after winter
- freshly brewed coffee in my favourite armchair
- nightingale’s song as the sun sets
- a new book
- freshly cut flowers in the vase
- face mask and a bubble bath
- ripe pineapple
- cheesecake for breakfast
- a morning stroll through the woods
- the comfort of my bed
- perfect avocado
- when you finally manage to hold the crow pose on the yoga mat
- ability to genuinely reply no
- waking up early on Sunday morning while everyone else is sleeping
- finding beauty in the mundane
- George Ezra’s voice while preparing breakfast
- the countryside in the summer
- homemade food
- expressing myself through writing and connecting with people
- moon and the stars
- having worse days, and being okay with it
- cold showers in the morning
- eating breakfast bathed in sunshine
- freshly laundered favourite leggings
- smiling reflection in the mirror
- loving that reflection in the mirror
- freshly picked herbs from your private garden
- blackbird singing at dusk
- staying in on Saturday night, while everyone is going out
- unconditional self-love.
I am a lucky girl, you know? Not because I have amazing things, but because I get to see them every day and feel like I am enough, and where I am is also enough.
Enjoy the little things. For one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.
— Robert Brault
What if you allow for happiness to precede success? What if we have mindlessly followed the notion of chasing that success in hope of reaching the Promise Land of Happiness, while all along the feeling was within our reach?
Pro-tip: as long as you raise the state of happiness on the pedestal, it is going to remain elusive. The best approach is to find happiness right here, right now. Make the most of what you already have, who you already are.
Following that thinking, you will program your mind to expect happiness and be on the lookout for positive things constantly. Then happiness will become a sure thing. Success is about a happy life, and a happy life is just a string of joyful moments.
Thank you for reading!
I write to empower and inspire with self-love. Your biggest strength lies in your authenticity, so embrace the whole package. Wear your unique attitude proudly.
