HUMOR AND WAY TOO MUCH MORE
I’d Rather Watch Cock and Ball Torture Porn Than Be Roasted by Hogan Torah
If you’re brave enough, this is a writing prompt
Actually, it would depend on the consensual definition of “roasting” Hogan Torah and I come up with. Maybe it wouldn’t be worse than watching C and B torture. Maybe it would be preferable. Hogan seems like a fun guy, when he’s not ripping writers a new one.
Fortunately I don’t have to make that choice immediately. I dodged the barbs in Hogan Torah’s recent article skewering the types of stories he won’t read and their writers. Except for one.
I do have a “cartoon” avatar, in that my avatar is a photo of me reimagined with the app ToonMe. I like her. Her eyes are piercing, and she has a sexy, “don’t fuck with me” look about her. Plus, there are other pics of me in all, well most, of my realness in a couple of my stories.
Does it sound like I’m trying to defend my one fatal error when it comes to getting Hogan to read my stuff? So be it. There is no fury like Hogan scorned. I’m just attempting to pacify him.
Because, as his original title suggests, watching C and B torture is preferable to some experiences. In his opinion it’s reading stupid stories with stupid headlines. In mine, it’s being made mock of by Hogan.
On the other hand, I am so not a fan of any kind of torture. While I have numerous examples of proof of this, as in walking out of Mel Gibson movies, I also have an actual, true life example that proves I would prefer damned near anything to watching C and B torture.
I’m a psychotherapist. For the good of all, in my opinion, there is a sex positivity movement within our ranks. Since I practice in a very liberal city, I have need to know of a variety of sexual practices, ere they come up in therapy and I find myself at a loss.
So I asked a male colleague to go with me to an AASECT, American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists seminar at a hotel. No, it was not held in a suite of rooms. Nobody was in costume. That would come later at the Ball.
We were seated at conference tables in a legitimate conference room. The event was moderated by two AASECT founders, who began with a talk on sex positivity and sensitivity toward kinksters. Not as in supporters of Kinky Friedman, but those who practice their fetishes with pride.
So far so good. Questions were asked and answered, and in all it was very informative. Then the presenters asked some of the attendees to share with the group different devices they use in pursuit of their various kinks. BDSM predominated. Pun intended.
Paddles, straps, rulers and feathers were shown, demonstrated and passed around. A wiry thing came through that gave a small electric shock. A flyswatter did the same with a slightly stronger shock. Most of us briefly tried a few of the “toys” on our hands or arms before passing them on.
Toward the end, one lady brought out toothpicks. That’s when I turned to my colleague and whispered, “I think we’re too vanilla for this group.” He nodded assent. Still, we didn’t want to bring attention to ourselves by leaving.
Toothpick lady then instructed a man to bring out a large, square, wooden contraption. It looked a lot like the stocks used to restrain people in public squares as punishment in early North America. However, it sat low on the floor and the holes were much too small for a head and hands.
The guy, thank all the sex gods that be, did not demonstrate how the device worked. Instead he described what was meant to be restrained in the holes, and how painful if not downright damaging it would be to try to stand up while so restrained. My colleague and I looked at one another and bolted out the door.
So roast away, Hogan. Really, anything would be better than watching that contraption in action.
Have a story about Hogan or cock and ball torture? Fire away.
See that cartoon avatar? Yeah, that’s me. I like it. Please don’t destroy me for it Hogan.
Here’s the story that started it all: