Credit Where Credit is Due?

I’d Like to Thank Jesus for My Medium Success

But Something Tells Me That He’s Not Really Into it

One thing I’ve noticed as a lifelong sports fan is the number of championship rings God has. Boxing, wrestling, and mixed-martial arts belts, too. Golf, tennis, and even bowling trophies. He must have one hell of a rec room to display all of His hardware in.

What am I talking about? Oh, just about all the times I’ve heard professional and semi-pro athletes give all the credit for their winning to God. I see this quite frequently. Perhaps I should do it, too, as a Medium writer.

Evidently, he is the reason pro athletes score 45 points in an NBA playoff game or hit a walk-off home run to win the World Series. I think he even helped one feller pick up that eight-ten split in the 1974 PBA Championship. Well done, J.C.

Back when I was a religious tyke and just starting to get into watching sports with my pastor father, I thought that these credits to the Man Upstairs were pretty cool. “Hey, they’re talkin’ about my dude on TV!” Nowadays, I just wonder how people still believe in this sort of thing.

More power to you if you do. If you want to credit your hard work, your athleticism, and grace under pressure to win on the world’s biggest stage to your Creator, have at it. But just realize that you should probably give credit where credit is due: To yourself.

Being humble is an admirable trait. I get that people want to credit Sky Daddy and continue to be blessed in all they do. But not having belief in your own abilities and crediting God for the entire thing? That seems a bit odd.

If God does exist, assuming he’s a sports fan, and He sees your smiling face while holding up the Vince Lombardi trophy after the Super Bowl, does he even WANT the credit? Especially if the Cowboys or Raiders win it all? Doubtful.

“Don’t you Dare, Troy. Don’t you even say a word about me, Emmitt. You’re AMERICA’s football team, not Heaven’s. Hey, tell Michael to quit choppin’ lines. I don’t care if this is a party!”

And it’s always sports for some reason. I have yet to see a politician winning on election night and thanking Jesus for the win. Perhaps in local elections in the Deep South or Bible Belt. Parts of Idaho. I don’t think Trump was crediting Jesus in 2016. I think he was too busy chopping lines like Michael Irvin after a Super Bowl win.

And what about the bad shit that happens in our world? I never see anyone thanking God or laying the blame for something tragic. Don’t you ever wonder why that is? I didn’t see that with the latest mass shooting I read about, or when that damn submarine imploded last year.

I’ve never read on a GoFundMe that someone thanks their Lord and Savior for giving them ass-cancer. Or even blaming him for it. I HAVE seen many people leaving online prayer comments blaming the Devil for such things.

“Satan! Oh, Satan. You get your hands off of Randy and his asshole. You are a LIAR Devil! You cannot have Randy or his colon. RELEASE this cancer from Randy’s brown-eye, in the name of the Almighty! Demons, be GONE!”

I imagine Satan is like, “What the fuck? I didn’t do anything to Randy’s ass? Don’t these dicks believe in science? WTF? I get blamed for EVERYTHING. That Holocaust bullshit was NOT because of me.”

Just once, I’d love to see a pro athlete thanking the Devil for allowing them to win the playoff game. That, I’d relish. I’d watch that shit on Pay-Per-View for $6.66. We could serve hot wings and everything.

“I’d like to thank my good buddy Beelzebub for causing that fumble on the 20-yard line and allowing me to scoop it up and run it back for a touchdown. Thank you, Almighty Lord of sulfur and gas. THANK YOU FOR THIS WIN TODAY!”

“Now please help me score some ass at the after-party, so that you may receive all the glory, and I may receive a shot of penicillin in a week. In the name of all that is eternally damned, FUCK YEAH!”

And just like Jesus doesn’t want another trophy, I’m sure Satan would be down there like, “Aw, Christ, do I have to help this professional athlete get laid, again? I wish you’d just lost the damn game, already. Shut up, Steinbrenner! It’s not funny. Keep Jerry Jones’ seat warm, he’ll be here soon.”

Or perhaps the athlete wants no part of thanking either deity. Just once, I want to see a football player win the Super Bowl and be like, “This shit is because of ME. I do NOT give credit to the Lord! Or that red-dicked Devil. GO ME!” Perhaps I’ll give that a try when I reach 100,000 followers here on Medium.

But no. Religion teaches people to be humble. To not seek personal glory. To give credit to the Almighty, even though he gets so much of it for anything good, and never is blamed for anything bad that happens in the world. Why is that?

The Devil seems to be the scapegoat. Anything evil or tragic that happens is automatically pinned on the Devil. It’s easy to blame a fictional character for all of the terrible, evil things that happen in our country and on this planet daily.

Just as it’s easy to give credit for anything good or positive that happens in this existence to God, Jesus, Christ, etc. Win the World Series? Thank you, Jesus. Win the Super Bowl? Glory to God. Win an NBA championship? Thank you to The Almighty. I have to think he’s tired of all these events. When does He get to just Netflix and chill, for once?

Perhaps that’s why nothing is getting done. There’s still no cure for cancer. Children are still dying of hunger daily. People are still murdered all of the time on our planet for being female, gay, or of differing religions. Is God too busy attending award shows and sporting events to stop the atrocities that occur daily, worldwide?

Either God is not omnipotent and all-powerful, capable of stopping every bad thing on this planet, or he IS and just chooses not to intervene and help. Either scenario sounds pretty shitty, depressing, and fake to me.

This is why I’ve outgrown religion. As I’ve educated myself through my adult years, my views of religion, God, and the Devil have changed. I no longer believe the things I believed as a child and young adult. Just as I once believed in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, yet no longer do.

So go ahead and thank God the next time you win the Super Bowl, an Emmy Award, Employee of the Month. But ask yourself where he is when your baby cousin is terminally ill with brain cancer. Or when the next civil war starts and innocent people are being killed. The next mass shooting is probably scheduled for tomorrow.

If God does exist, he needs to quit attending championship sporting events and get to work. I doubt he wants the glory given to him by professional athletes. Or to this Medium writer. I’m assuming he’d rather get busy solving actual problems and help us avoid real atrocities. &:^)

© 2024 Jason Provencio. All rights reserved.