I Wish I Wanted to Work a 9–5 Traditional Job

After 20 years of trying, the universe intervened.

I used to think that entrepreneurship was more manageable than working a 9–5, or in my case, a 7 am -7 pm job. Right, you see it all over Instagram, Youtube, and blogs.

I quit my 9–5 and so can you, buy my course for $1997, and I will teach you. Please no, stop, do not buy this course — -trust me.

Let’s back up.

Do you want to work for yourself?

Do you want to stress each month where the money will come from?

Do you want to hustle 24/7 without a payoff for possibly 3–5 years?

Do you have an idea?

Can you work on your vision while still earning an income and have money to put into your thoughts?

Ok, you have your answers, right??

So I always loved the idea of entrepreneurship, being my boss, working when I want, make my schedule. Well, that is just the surface.

Entrepreneurship

Work 24/7. Constantly learning a new skill, platform, and course correcting. Never sure how much you will make month to month. A unique talent, new platform, new idea, too many ideas, scale it back.

Now what, that failed. Back to the drawing board, new vision, scale it up, this sucks, restart.

What am I doing? I made no money this month. I hate pitching my services; I hate the freelance client I have, but I need the money. I wish I had a boss to give me direction.

What way am I going? I overslept; I am exhausted; I am burnt out. Now what? Oh yeah, restart.

Just me?

The above are things I was not looking at or thinking about when I thought, why not? Let’s be an entrepreneur, writer, blogger, vlogger, or any way I can to make money; I am currently in the deep mud pits of these feelings… the dirty work.

The grinding, creating, and figuring out my idea, do I have one, am I good enough, will I make enough money to live, can I do it?

If you are like me, these questions go through your head every damn day. I go to sleep thinking of what to do next and what ideas I have.

I write blogs before bed in my head. I film videos; my brain does not shut off. I am currently obsessed with learning to be a better visual storyteller; where do I even begin.

I am studying those who are doing it. That is where.

Let’s look at the alternative, the dreaded 9–5 or 7–7. I know this well. I spent over 20 years in this world and didn’t realize how easy it was. Of course, the grass is always greener!

Yet why do we always see on social media the snakes trying to get everyone to quit the 9–5. No please stop, don’t quit, unless you know in your heart it is right for you.

Usually, these are the MLM huns. The absolute worst, and no, they are not entrepreneurs; they are salespeople for a company who prey on those who see entrepreneurship as making money with minimal effort.

Of course, we all want to do less work and make more money, except that is a lie. Anyone who promises you a big buck for little effort is a “sleazeball,” run as fast as you can from these people.

I digress; back on topic.

The 9–5.

Go to work. Get paid the same every month. Taxes are automatically taken out.

Have a schedule, routine some shape to their day. PTO, Sick time.

Yes, there are downsides; the boss doesn’t give you time off, and vacations are denied. Your co-workers suck; your boss sucks.

Yet when you are an entrepreneur, I think holidays are obsolete for at least five years. I will be working on vacation, or I will not make money.

I have always put down those who like working a 9–5; please accept my apologies.

Now that I am no longer in that game, I look at my siblings and those who work a traditional job and think, wow, they are brilliant.

Then I wondered what happened to me. I am too much like my parents, both of them. They both hustled to make ends meet.

I was miserable working for someone else; I hate and love structure. I love it when it’s my structure; I hate when you tell me where to stand.

My mother and father exist in harmony in my body, and some days I want to eradicate both of their independent free spirits, yet that is who I am.

Those who forge a non traditional path, need those who love the stability of a traditional job. They keep the world in working order.

If the world consisted of a bunch of us who are up and down all the time as a jack in the box on crack, I think it would be fun. In reality, it would be chaos.

My youngest sister is the best example of this. She is grounded and all things that I am not. I love visiting with her, she grounds me, and I am super productive when I stay at her house.

Her grounding, organized, structured life feeds my soul. I could never do that, but I soak it all in when I am around it.

I make my other sister and brother crazy. They do not understand how I do not know how much money I will make this month, next, or in a year.

They have no idea how I make any money, how I survive. My brother shakes his head and says can’t you be normal? What is normal? That is a different topic.

I love that they go to work, love their jobs, and have complete peace in that part of their life. I never loved going to work or having a boss.

I did love the paycheck, but working for a wage was never in my cards. In the past two years, I have come to peace and let go of my fear of not having enough money.

Money no longer drives nor controls me.

There is some state of peace knowing that you have a purpose in the world. Many see their careers in the world as their purpose. Is it? Who knows.

I saw this for a long time. I am a healer, yet not in the conventional nurse way that I once thought.

I didn’t know what else to do, yet out of all the areas of my crazy life, my career was the one that brought the most peace to me.

I knew I had a guaranteed paycheck; even though I was always trying to escape, it kept pulling me back in. It was easy, way more straightforward than the alternative.

Yet it was not me; it was not who my soul wanted me to be. My soul now jumps alive every moment as I am trying something new. Every time I get paid for something I made, I am in awe. I obtain money because I created something.

I say my soul is happy now because the universe intervened with my constant need to do a job that was not right.

An intervention that I prayed about. I wanted to venture out independently, but the timing was always off. The working world pulled me back.

I quit one remote job to pursue my passion and travel without worrying about wifi. Then less than a week later, a remote position working 30 hours a week and living like a queen abroad pulled me in.

And then, I was laid off in 2020, and as it put me into a tailspin of depression and anxiety, I came out with a new look at life, and it was exactly what I needed.

“When we let go of what we think is best for us, we can receive what we truly need.” ― Anthon St. Maarten

I knew it then as well. It was the first time in over 20 years I was free; of course, it took me almost six months to see this, but once the fog cleared and lots of meditation, yoga, and inner work, I saw it.

The world opened up to me, and no matter what happens, it will work out.

Let’s go back to that course for $1997 for a minute. I bought thousands of these courses, and none of them did a damn thing. Why? Because I did not want it bad enough.

If you want it bad enough, you will do it without a course; how do you think entrepreneurs did it before the internet age. They did it because they knew that they had to, or at least try.

Those of you who do not want to be an entrepreneur, I still look at you with envious eyes — wondering why couldn’t I be like you.

I say that about many things in life, yet would I change them? No. I tried for so long to fit into the box of what society thinks is normal, and it only got me further away from myself.

The uncertainty of life fulfills me and makes me feel alive. Yet I will always look to those such as my siblings and say thank you for being stable and creating a backbone for those of us who are unable to sit still.

XOXO

S