I Will Quit My Job In the Next 6 Months

Or I will self-destruct.

If there’s anything that I think I know, it’s myself.

Specifically, I know that I can’t spend my life working for someone else. Taking orders nauseates me. Being told what to write, what to do, and how things work from people who are working a fraction as hard as I do kills my drive and makes me obnoxiously angry.

I started taking on freelance clients in September of 2020. First, I ghostwrote articles on firearms, despite the fact that I had never shot a gun in my life. I got paid $20 per 1000 words, including what UpWork would take. It was pocket change.

Then, I started doing “social media management” a few months later, and I eventually started writing company blogs for clients as well. In the last year, I’ve written content for every type of business from software integration to trucking to fast food restaurants.

I’ve only been working in “content creation” for a year now, and I’m already burned out.

In 6 months, I’m going to quit. That’s my biggest goal for 2022.

I’m terrified about what will happen if I don’t. If I can’t.

Freelancing isn’t entrepreneurship.

I started taking on clients for social media work because I wanted to learn about marketing and I wanted to build a business.

I did one of those things.

In a year of copywriting, I learned a lot about branding, writing, and selling that I’d never learned before. I didn’t study marketing in college, I studied multimedia journalism. When I started copywriting, everything was completely new to me.

I learned about “evergreen” content, B2B businesses, and “calls to action”.

I learned all this stuff, but I never started a business.

I still don’t technically have a business. I have more freelance clients than I can count (and I’m so exhausted that I can’t count them), but I don’t have a business. In terms of my “starting a business” goal, I failed big time.

My goal for the next 6 months is to turn the table on the part of myself that’s scared to take the leap and bet on myself.

Here goes nothing.

I’m working Elon Musk hours for random copywriter money

Apart from working as a freelancer and independent writer, I’m also one of the top-ranked Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu brown belts in the world (currently I’m number 3 on IBJJF.com in the 187-pound division).

Still, my success in the last year has come at a greater cost than it ever has before.

For the last 6 months, I’ve worked 12–16 hours per day on writing for clients, writing for myself, teaching private lessons and classes, and training myself for major tournaments like the world championships going down next week in Anaheim, California.

I have a lot going on. Every hour of my day is regimented.

After my ex-girlfriend and I had a pretty nasty split up 6 months ago, I’ve gone on one date. I was bored the whole time. I was thinking about writing and Jiu-Jitsu. I guess part of it is that I just got out of a pretty severe depressive episode and I’m kind of emotionally unavailable, but the main part of it is work.

Work is love, work is life.

I’m single, ladies, but I’m also too busy for good morning texts or “drinks after work” and I can’t meet up for dinner unless we’re getting salads (I have to make weight for my next competition).

I’ve also destroyed my body this year (I have had more physical injuries than I’d care to admit), I’ve lost plenty of friends who don’t care to understand my lifestyle, and I’ve only increased my net worth by a few thousand dollars.

The question now is whether or not those burned friendships, damaged joints, and hours in isolation are worth their weight in the gold that I got for them.

I’m quitting ambition to bet on myself.

The reason that I haven’t stopped attracting freelance clients yet is fear and fear alone.

I’m scared if I go all-in on writing and Jiu-Jitsu that I’ll fail and end up knocking on my parent's door begging to move back into their basement.

I’m scared that if I start publishing books and ebooks that no one will buy them. I’m scared that Medium and Quora will change their algorithm and that my views will hit ground zero. I’m scared that I’ll lose my job teaching Jiu-Jitsu and that I won’t win enough tournaments to give me the exposure I need to teach at a level where I can make a steady income.

I’m scared that I’ll fail and become desperate.

But maybe I need that desperation. Maybe it will push me to best the best version of myself.

In my experience, every time I’ve been pushed to the brink of my abilities, I’ve risen up and figured it out. Every time I’ve needed to find money, I’ve found it. I’m anxious, so these struggles are definitely worse in my head than they are in reality, but they are still real. That’s why I come off as a little dramatic sometimes.

I’m projecting, I guess.

My goal for the next 6 months is to quit my job and focus on my personal brand full-time, with no safety nets.

This article is my accountability partner.

Closing thoughts

Whatever goals you have for yourself, you need to define a path toward achieving them, otherwise, they’ll remain dreams.

Dreams are beautiful, but they’re fragile.

Dreamers are exciting, but they’re weak.

Dreaming is fun, but it’s fleeting.

In the next 6 months, I’ve got thousands of micro-goals, but it all leads back to the main goal of going all-in on my passions for creative writing and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. I respect copywriters, but copywriting won’t lead me to the life I want to live.

Time will tell if the path I’m on leads to the place I want to go. I’m beyond excited (and a tad bit anxious) to find out.