I Will Only Go to The Mall if You Buy Me Food

I deserve a treat after surviving crowded places over the weekend.

There are too many things in this world that I genuinely dislike. And not only dislike; I hate and loathe them to the point of wanting to set fire to the entire city just like Daenerys did in the final season of Game of Thrones.

And one of those things is the experience of visiting a large, crowded shopping mall on a weekend.

Don’t misunderstand me; I’m neither a sociopath nor a vampire who must wait for nightfall before emerging from his lair. There are valid reasons why I don’t enjoy spending my Saturdays shopping in the largest mall in my city for items I don’t need.

I cannot bear that many kids because they are constantly in your face, running wild, yelling, weeping, and knocking you over.

I detest how every changing room has a queue of people waiting to use it. And it’s usually a complete disaster in clothing stores because people never put the stuff back where it belongs.

Moreover, I find it absurd that it takes you half a day to cross the mall while dodging other people's feet. And this list may go on.

And now you’re probably thinking, "Why are you making a big deal out of this? Just stay away from the shopping centers.”

Indeed, that makes logical sense. Except for a tiny barrier that keeps me from making it happen. Well, maybe not so tiny; his height is more than 185 cm. And this is the man I married.

I was lucky enough to find a partner with a passion for shopping. And frequently, it is not even real shopping when you spend a crazy amount of money. No.

My husband is always extremely excited to head off on a shopping trip to explore and compare prices. And he finds immense joy in doing so.

That’s why our typical conversation in the mall goes something like this:

“Let’s go to the home appliance store and look at the fridges.”

“We have a fridge already; we found it on the street, remember? It is still in good condition.” Usually, my responses reflect my obvious irritation.

“So what? Going window shopping is so fun.”

“No, it's fucking not. Let's get out of here.”

To give you an idea of the scope of the issue, know that whenever we are in the mall, my husband visits The North Face store to see if the prices have dropped and if he can buy something.

And on each occasion, it's still beyond our budget’s limit, so we always leave the store empty-handed. Yet it doesn’t prevent him from giving up hope altogether. Frankly, I’d also like to have unwavering faith in something just like he has in The North Face.

Furthermore, my husband works a lot, and after 4-5 days, he usually has only one day off. As a result, we lack a lot of time to hang out together.

Besides, if he ever needs to buy something, he can only do so on his day off. And naturally, he suggests a trip to the mall. Because it has countless different stores, doesn’t it seem comfortable?

But when it comes to me, the mall looks much worse than Hell, packed with nasty people. So, every time my husband suggests it, a ferocious voice within my head starts shouting, “Noooooooooooo”. But I’ve missed him all week, and I am eager to spend time with him, so I agree to go.

Then we end up going to the mall, and as soon as my feet hit the floor inside, I’m furious. As time goes on, we argue and get angry. I nag, and sometimes we feel like we’re on the verge of murder.

Finally, after experiencing the same situation over and over for what seemed like countless times, I thought about finding a compromise. How can we avoid bringing down each other’s moods in the mall?

My husband loves the malls, but I absolutely can’t stand them, especially on the weekends. Yet sometimes, you have no choice but to visit them because it’s the one-stop shop for everything. And occasionally, the only time you can do it is on weekends.

So I tried to come up with a solution that would work for both of us. At first sight, though, it appeared like we had to get a divorce because that was the only possible compromise.

But then I remembered that I still loved him, so I knew that this wasn’t the best choice.

Eventually, I thought about one of the best things about being alive. To me, nothing beats having a meal in a serene and picturesque park, free from the hustle of crowds. So what if it may be our solution?

First, I will try to hold back tears while heading to the mall. Then we’ll finish up our shopping, get some food to go, and finally rest in the park next to the mall. In a word, that sounded brilliant.

My theory was that when you have to do something unpleasant, you can promise yourself a reward after finishing it. If I knew I’d be able to do something thrilling and enjoyable afterward, I might be able to handle a trip to the mall!

I thought it was a perfect idea and couldn't wait to share it with my loved one. Since that day, I had been eagerly waiting for his day off from work, and the excitement was driving me crazy.

On his free day, I asked what he had planned, and he said he needed to go out and get some new pants for work. And therefore, it was clear that he wanted to go to the mall.

“Okay, but I have a special request. I’d like to get some food to go and then head to the park.” I watched his face to see his reaction.

“Alright, I’m cool with it. And you promise to act properly? No grousing, rolling of the eyes, or nagging?”

“That's right.”

“Awesome! So, let's go. Are we also heading to The North Face?" My husband decided to live his life to the fullest.

“Well, that’d set you back a burger as well. Also, a French fry, plus a milkshake and a piece of chocolate cake.”

He smiled and said, “Nothing more?”

“No, that's it.”

At last, we made it to the mall, and surprisingly, it wasn’t as detestable as it was before.

Mostly because I was waiting to be rewarded with a trip to the park. And, of course, with a burger.

It’s not too late to become a Medium member! You’ll be able to read not only my articles but also those of the other fantastic writers nonstop. Just click the link below👇