I Will Not Have Your Back

On a lesson learned the hard way.

I’m a fool. For most of my life, I’ve stuck up for the underdog, the “little guy.” People who, in my opinion, were being unfairly maligned or bullied. Because bullies are cowards, and they need to be exposed for who and what they are.

When I was working, a few of my co-workers were people who I’d lobbied for when they were freelancing. In other words, it was largely due to my interceding with upper management (with whom I was popular), that these folks were hired full time.

I never got a “Hey, thanks, Sherry, for having my back.” And that was okay. Then. But now I’m learning that it’s not. Entitlement is never okay, and if you can’t acknowledge a kindness done on your behalf, even if it’s only a token, then you’re a shitty excuse for a human being.

I still believe in the power of “please” and “thank you.”

So, yeah, I was a fool back then, too. Because you know what I found out after I was laid off from my job of fourteen years? People don’t give a fuck. You’re all alone out there.

I can count on one hand the number of co-workers, who I thought were my friends, who tried contacting me after I was shit canned. That hurt. I won’t deny it. It doesn’t sting any longer, though, as I finally got it through my thick skull that people — most of them, anyway, aren’t worth it. Let them hurt you, show you’re vulnerable, and there will be nothing left for even the vultures to pick on.

Am I telling you this to depress you? Make you fearful or suspicious? Well, I don’t want to depress you, but there’s nothing wrong with healthy skepticism if it’s going to prevent you from being hurt, as I was.

Here’s an example of the above-mentioned “bullying.” This unfortunate occurrence happened only yesterday and is the reason I’m writing this story.

I read a post in one of the Facebook Medium groups that a certain publication was being attacked by a writer on this platform for not accepting LGBTQ writers, and for being “homophobic.” In his considered opinion, I might add. I knew nothing of the conflict or what instigated it.

In his piece attacking the publication, this individual had the nerve to reference a story of mine that the publication in question had featured months ago. It was a review of “Queer Eye,” the Netflix reboot of the original “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.”

I love the show and the review was a positive one. However, the writer felt he had to shame me along with the publication by calling me the “straight woman who wrote about “Queer Eye.” Or something along those lines. I won’t go back and look because I’m trying not to write from a place of anger. Even though, I’m pretty pissed.

Was I not, as a “straight woman,” supposed to write about a show starring five, gay guys? Or was it the fact that it appeared in the detested publication? Note that when my story was published, there wasn’t the controversy that now exists. This all just happened recently! And, as usual, I had no idea of the drama until I asked a fellow writer what was going on.

So I decided — and here’s where I made my mistake — to post the “Queer Eye” story in Medium Mastery. Hell, it needed a little more love, anyway.

What did I get in return? A public skewering in a long, meandering rant in Medium Mastery, from the writer of the inflammatory piece. I was shocked. What was my crime?

In a foaming-at-the-mouth diatribe, he not only implied that I was homophobic, but also, a bigot! Where the hell was this coming from? I suggested that, if he’d read any of my work, he’d know that this was complete and utter bullshit.

I don’t owe anyone an explanation, but I am a liberal and proud of it. I don’t give a damn if you have a penis, a vagina or a fucking rutabaga between your legs. It’s what’s between your ears, and in your heart that I care about.

Here is just a sampling of the venom, in an attack that went on way too long:

If you make your bed with homophobic bigots, you might as well be one. Systemic homophobia exist (sic) because of people like you who enable it.

And:

Of course now I know who you are. You declared yourself on the side of homophobia and of bigotry. Noted.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And on, and on, it went. I felt as if I was watching an upcoming train wreck, and I was lashed to the tracks. Never in my wildest imagination, would I think anyone would refer to me as a bigot and homophobe.

I’m proud of myself for not taking the bait, although I dearly wanted to tell him to “fuck off.” I think I’ll do so now:

Hey, you. FUCK OFF.

Instead, I let this individual rail against me with no intercession from the admins or anyone else, for that matter.

Stupidly, I read his rants and waited for someone — anyone — to come to my defense. No one did.

Is this a lesson that I need to learn? That we are indeed, “alone out here?” Because I don’t appreciate feeling like a fool. A “fool” is not who I am, yet I have indeed put myself out there for other people and gotten precious little in return.

This is probably one of the reasons I prefer animals. They have it all over people.

People let you down.

People lie to your face.

People routinely hurt other people, animals, and the environment.

I’m painting a grim picture, I know. But, I’m feeling grim. Like a grim fool, as a matter of fact. But, not for long because I’m going to change. And it starts now.

I will no longer stick up for you, or your “truths.”

If someone publicly shits all over you, get a towel.

Being ripped apart by a bully? Sorry. I’ll be filing my nails.

That’s today, anyway. Tomorrow is another story.

Sherry McGuinn is a longtime Chicago-area writer and award-winning screenwriter. Her work has appeared in The Chicago Tribune, Chicago Sun-Times and numerous other publications. Sherry’s manager is currently pitching her newest screenplay, a drama with dark, comedic overtones and inspired by a true story.

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