I Went to Southern Decadence, Where Nudity Is a Revolutionary Act

But some women are beaten to death for not covering up

When I asked Aislyn if she wanted to go with me to New Orleans, I thought we would have a good time. And we definitely had plenty of those! But when I got home and read this story in the Guardian, about a woman being beaten to death by police for not covering her head, I realized we were doing a lot more than enjoying ourselves at the Southern Decadence Festival. By taking our clothes off and parading our bare bodies in public, we were participating in a revolutionary act.

Let’s not be confused by society’s twisted messages, most of which are concocted by corrupt corporations (or power-hungry governments) in order to make a buck off of people’s pain. Women showing off their bodies is not wanton. It’s not slutty. It’s not criminal. And it’s not anyone else’s business but their own.

I’ll grant that nudity is not appropriate in every venue. But skin? Hair? Cleavage? Shoulders? Ankles? Those are fine! Please…bring ’em on!

Just as men may take their shirts off in public places, wear shorts, show their biceps and six-packs — or big bulbous beer bellies — so women are free to display their bodies, too.

That tired old lie that men can’t control their animal instincts and aren’t responsible for their actions if a good-looking woman walks by? Please… I find many men in my orbit to be hot, delectable morsels, but I don’t jump over the counter or run down the street to put my hands on them.

We all are responsible for our behavior, and for controlling any urges which could potentially harm others.

When I think of all the good times we had being semi-nude in public at Southern Decadence, and all the positive feedback we got from each other and the crowd, a number of flex points come to mind:

1. The Bible — this old book is not all good. In fact, it’s downright evil in many parts. Did you know it endorses slavery? Misogyny? Racism? And to tell “mankind” that it has dominion over all plants and animals, and can destroy them at will, is a big part of the reason we’re in a climate crisis today. Turns out all those blowhards writing the Bible weren’t infallible truth tellers after all — just another group of delusional, self-aggrandizing men.
2. Female Sexuality — why is it so important for patriarchal societies to control women’s sexuality? Why does Iran insist women wear hijabs? Why does Afghanistan insist on total coverage via burqas? Why does the United States take away abortion privileges and threaten birth control? Because female sexuality is a powerful force. And if women could access it freely, they could put the patriarchy down. It’s much more difficult to keep a powerful creature under your thumb than a weak one. So dress laws and sex laws are used to keep women weak. So are beauty standards.
3. LGBTQ+ — the oppression of queer people is akin to and strengthens the oppression of women. Any time you claim dominion over other people’s bodies — you can’t wear that, you can’t walk like that, you can’t have sex with those people — you are propping up an intrinsically corrupt and unfair system that puts some people over and in control of others.
4. Racism — Ditto above. You can’t claim it’s okay to control or limit Black people, or Asian people, or gay people, or women, or Muslims, or any group at all, without weakening the human rights of everyone, without supporting and advancing the corrupt system that is already in place.
5. James Finn’s prompt — James Finn sent out a writer’s prompt that moved me recently: “My Queer World Looks Like This .” I may not be traditionally queer. I’m a cis woman who has been married to a cis man for nearly 40 years. But we recently opened our marriage in order for him to express his bisexuality (under wraps all that time), and I’m open and eager to try my wings, too. Going to Southern Decadence, which was described to me as a gay Mardi Gras, was part of my winged migration from the winter of the hetero world to a warmer and more welcoming clime, and it felt deeply nourishing and unequivocally good. I may not be steeped in this queer world in my daily life, but I would love to be!
6. Trans-leadership — demanding the right to choose your gender, to cross the strict and oppressive gender divide, is deeper and harder and more revolutionary than demanding cis woman’s or gay rights. This is something I don’t know how to articulate properly, but feel intuitively. And it’s telling that two of the people who impressed me the most at Southern Decadence were some version of trans.

Person One: one night when we were walking in the Quarter we heard the sound of a police car and froze with fear. Our impulse was to run and hide. This person, though, sashayed over to plant themselves in front of the police car in the middle of the street, then bent over and twerked at the cops!!! I couldn’t have been more impressed. What a badass! Later, I saw them in the parade. They’re wearing the silver bikini and emanating the kind of chutzpah that’s contagious. See what I mean?

And Person Two won my vote for best hat and sassiest attitude in the whole long parade. The still photo at the top of this story is a great screen shot from this longer video clip, showing multiple fine looking people, but there’s no mistaking who’s the star of the show.

Finally, check out this krewe of older women who know how sexy and powerful they truly are. I love the drum line, the dancing, the hat and fan: all of it!

So what’s the takeaway? The more we encourage gay culture, female sexuality, and freedom of expression of all stripes, the more secure everyone’s human rights will be. Just as each oppression relies on others to prop it up, so does each freedom.

This story is a response to the Prism & Pen writing prompt “My Queer World Looks Like THIS!”

Prompt stories so far —

Hubs and I just opened up our long-term marriage. Find stories about how it’s going on this List, or about sex in general on this one. Get an email whenever I publish. Or sign up for unlimited access to Medium with my referral link and they’ll give me some of your $5 a month. Huzzah!