I Went to Preschool at 38

I remember my first day of preschool as a middle aged man. For the last 20 years I’ve worked as a food service professional. It’s all I know.

I barely speak English. As a Mississippian I have a pretty thick southern drawl. I do a decent job of containing the worst of it but sometimes it spills out of my mouth like molasses on a biscuit.

One day I said, “Come on Dian Dian.” in a way only a southerner would and my student said,

“Come on Dian Dian.” in the cutest little southern accent I ever heard. I was proud and scared of what I created in that moment.

During outdoor time, my first day of work, I thought to myself,

“Is this what my life has become?”

Could I sustain this for a year or longer?

For the last 6 years my career was exciting. I climbed up the gangway of a US ship and set sail all over the world. I joined ships at different places all over the world. The back side of my passport is thick with luggage tags because I flew around the world once or twice a year.

Yet there I was, setting out cots for nap time. Trying to get the attention of 3 year old’s and teach them how to speak a language other than their own.

More times than not I will sit in circle time while all of my students are sitting their, talking to each other, crying about something, picking their noses, and think to myself

“This is my life now.”

That thought is followed by the realization of how lucky I am. I get paid to play with 3–4 year old's all day. As a man I do none of the dirty work like take them to the bathroom, change dirty clothes or diapers, and I leave the room as soon as they come in for nap time.

My full time job is to be there and talk to kids in my native language.

Pretty awesome!

All of this classroom time has taught me some interesting insights into the human condition. 3 years old’s are a perfect petri dish of humanity. Their emotions are raw, thoughts are complex, and their perceptions are sharp.

Here are 6 interesting observations about humanity I have garnered from my time in a classroom with 3 year old's.

If you aren’t looking at someone, you are not talking to them

Sometimes I will turn around to prompt the smart board and keep talking. Within seconds of doing this I will lose the attention of every student in the room. To maintain eye contact with someone engages them on a physical level and helps their mind focus on what you are saying.

Never tell someone no

People hate being told no. Three year old’s are no exception. The quickest way to see someone ignore you is to tell them no. The best thing to do is to give them an alternative.

Replace “Do not climb on the chairs” with “Sit in your chair.”

Replace “Do not punch your classmates” with “We give high fives and hugs.”

If we do not provide alternatives to the behavior they will continue doing the behavior. Adults are no different. Suggest alternatives before you point out where someone is wrong.

Attention is a form of respect we all need

I have a student who is the bane of everyone’s existence. He is violent, he likes to spit, he never does anything anyone tells him to, he does not pay attention in class, and if he doesn’t get his way he will immediately start crying at a 100 decibels (verified by my apple watch). He has grown to be one of my favorite students. Maybe because of all my years in the kitchens his personality type is the type I spent the most amount of time with: smart, defiant, physical, and pompous.

Either way, what I have come to speculate is his behavior is the result of a lack of positive attention from his parents. They whip him when he is bad. He gets plenty of negative attention. The problem is he doesn’t get any positive attention. As a 3 year old who needs attention this has reinforced his behavior.

Sometimes a little praise and interest goes a long way.

Progress is measured in months

This is an interesting one because everyone intuitively understands it to be true but we still have the human desire to see instant results. I remember the first week of school this semester one of the parents dropped their son off and he went inside with my coworker. I was outside talking to him and he asked,

“how is ____ doing academically?”

I remember thinking to myself, is this dude serious? Lets get him to stop crapping himself before he writes his first dissertation, guy.

Parents are so worried their children will fall behind in all of these arbitrary benchmarks that they lose sight of what is important. In my view, preschool should be fun. It should be a safe place where children learn how to interact with their peers, how to be respectful to adults and how to follow basic rules. It should serve as a first impression to learning. If we strip fun out of the learning process at this age, they will hate every grade after and approach learning as a chore and not an opportunity.

Humans need play time.

The other day my homeroom teacher was trying to line the kids up to shuttle them to some other thing and I said,

“For God’s sake, let them be children for 5 minutes.”

The school and the parents are so worried their children will miss out on something that they have filled every 30 minute block of time with something and my students spend most of their days standing in line.

I have discovered this about myself. I will work diligently on a report for 20–30 minutes and then put it down and get on Medium and read, clap and follow different people for 5–10 minutes and then return to my work. If I tried to work non-stop I would be miserable.

Crafting is Zen

My coworker said to me the other day, “You are like a girl.” I took it as a compliment. She was saying that because I made this cute little bumble bee craft out of yellow and black circles.

I love googly eyes. Don’t tell my coworkers but anytime I spot anything that remotely resembles a face it gets googly eyes. I keep two in my pocket at all times just for the occasion.

I never realized how good I was a crafting. It mellows me out. I don’t think gender has anything to do with it.

My two favorite things about my job are the students and crafting. Both bring me into the moment and get me out of my head.

Life’s twisting path

Of all the crazy turns my life has taken, ending up in a preschool in China was never on my life bingo card. Yet here I am, riding my electric moped rain or shine to this idyllic lakefront preschool and spending my days with 16 of the coolest people on earth. Life has a funny way of taking you places you never expected and sometimes they are exactly where you need to be.