I went from 177 kg to 90Kg, the 1st mindset change to actually achieve your goals.

And no, I won’t sell you any miracle formula to lose weight, it’s just friendly advice.

As some of you out there, most of my life I’ve struggled with weight problems, the lowest number I can remember from before, I was 12 and weighted 118 Kg.

And if it’s true that every person is controlled by a deadly sin, mine for sure is gluttony, you either understand or don’t.

Honestly, I would say it’s the one in my entire family, even not wanting to flame them, because nowadays, I hold responsibility for my flaws,

it definitely runs in the blood.

With a family being divided between Italian and Portuguese backgrounds, you can imagine how much food was normally put on the table from day to day,

5 people were going to sit on the table, but there would be enough food for 30, so yeah, it never lacked.

And not that I’m complaining or something like that, thank god I was born in a place where aside from lots of other daily struggles, food on the table was not one of them.

Point is, when you’re born in a place where food is always available, your parents are always working and trying to keep the things running, there is no one to teach you how to deal with your emotions, it is not hard for you to find yourself eating all the time,

specially those hidden visits to the fridge to steal a piece of cake during the night.

But being overweight since my childhood made me tough you know, I was always the fat guy in the group,

not that at the time I gave a lot of thought about it, we kids were different back them,

we didn’t care about bullying or anything at all, we always saw as normal, in every group there was the black who would be joked about being the coal piece, the nerd looking 4 eyes kid which would be mocked for it, the skinny one who would be stick, the spoiled richie with the best gadgets all the kids wanted a little bit to be like him, the “ugly” cool girl because well, if you’re not beautiful you better be funny, the ultra beautiful girl which would have her ego boosted,

and the fat guy who would always be the ball in any game and left as goalkeeper, that was me,

it is as it is right? You fill the role.

And when jokes started to appear of course was total war and threats, but after some punches traded we would just be back playing together,

my best friend was the 4-eyed black skinny kid (what a combo huh?) , so I guess no one in the entire school was mocked more than us together, but still, that built us in the rough world we live in.

And during my childhood I’ve developed some very bad habits as most of the kids of course did not have the conscience to understand how bad they actually were for me.

For a long period of my life I would just sit in front of the screen playing games and shoving down sodas, snacks and chocolates, sometimes I still do, but with conscience of how bad it is and not every single day.

On the other side, I’ve always loved sports and practiced martial arts, until the love for it appear it was always as some kind of my mom forcing me to go because I needed to “lose weight”,

but once I found Boxing and Muay Thai I’ve really started loving it.

Even with all the lessons from it and actually burning some calories, in the end it was my lack of control and knowledge about food that made it keep gaining weight.

After high school and during university I used to work as an English teacher for a private course school and my routine was even worse,

being out working all day long, I didn’t have exactly the will and conscience to pre-prepare meals and all, I used to have break fast in a bakery close to the school, which consisted of 2 very big mixed sandwiches and some kind of sweet pastry for dessert,

(I mean, who has dessert for breakfast right?)

then would go to an all-you-can-eat restaurant for lunch and eat a “little” of everything until there was literally no space left in my belly,

of course I wouldn’t miss the coke with ice and lemon as well…

You can imagine I wasn’t the healthiest MF on earth right?

My eating habits, probably caused by disorders based on emotional problems and demons I have dealt and some I still deal with, it, made me get to a very complicated point.

I believe the worst period was when I graduated from university.

Having finished Uni, Quit my job because I was no longer interested on the work I had, and having some money saved I decided to take a break.

My break was literally play computer games for 16 hours plus in a row, again shoving down unhealthy snacks and chocolates every single day for a period of about 3 or 4 months until i had to get money again.

About this time I reached the maximum weight I had , 177 Kilos, at the time, I was 23.

I don’t know exactly why but suddenly on a random Saturday I gained conscience over it from a moment to another,

I’ve just finished my shower and was going to sit on the pc to start the gaming session, but when passed in front of the mirror and glanced my naked reflection…

Well, I’ve seen myself naked thousands of times of course, and never gave much thought about it, or bothered me at all, it was just who I was,

but that specific time inside my head, something started to happen.

Thoughts like: “what the fuck is that?, where are you going to stop with it? Why are you doing this? Are there even coffins this size? Are you satisfied with what you are seeing?”

damm…that small glance in the mirror was so powerful, even nowadays after a long transformation and more than 80 kilos eliminated, Standing as a complete different person, different lifestyle, body, mind and all, that image still haunts me.

I believe it was at that moment decided I never wanted to see it again.

After that, I told myself I would get in shape, I would get hot like “who ever the f you think it’s very hot here”

Ha! little I knew the hard path I was going down.

At the time I started focusing more on Muay Thai, it was what I was training at the time, then started to create some self-control and went from drinking 2 liters of cola per day to just 300ml, and promised myself I would change, you know?

Small steps.

And well, I did change,

I mean, I’ve reached the goal of 2 numbers on the scale about a year ago, and kept going,

I decided to start running and the first time I went I almost died after 700 meters,

although last Sunday I just woke up and out of the blue went for a 13k morning run with 5,30 pace, still not close to Eliud Kipchoge but you know, it’s something…

And now day after day I keep challenging myself to more extreme stuff,this year I plan on doing my 1st triathlon, let’s see how it goes.

Nowadays after a long road of sweat, blood, training, rediscovering and rebuilding myself, my likes, my tastes, my habits, and lots of stuff I still not satisfied with what I see in the mirror and want more,

But at least I am starting to like what I see every time I look, and the lines on the muscles are starting to appear.

(maybe this is the reason of why I am posting this here now, prob have confidence enought nowadays)

But the reason I am telling you all that, is not to brag or show off how amazing I am, and blablabla,

I am telling you this for you to understand that I don’t speak from a point where I read or learned something from books,

or as some of those fucks who’ve been blessed by genetics which can eat and do whatever, and they will look like Greek-gods.

No, I am speaking from an empiric stance, as someone who made all the way down,

someone who understands the struggles, the daily mental war and self-doubts,

Someone who once had that small bug behind the ear about the shitty plastic chair feet slipping while trying to pay attention to the talk that it’s going on the table with your friends and pretending to care, while all you can really think is about not falling and becoming the fat-joke inside the bar, (still have this, some triggers are hard)

Someone who gets all the insecurities and demons created in our heads about weight and body, just because you don’t have the one everyone is “supposed” to have or don’t like what you look in the mirror.

Well, let me tell you a secret thne:

There is not a single person in the world who’s completely satisfied with what they see in the mirror.

Going down all this path, and managing to eliminate weight and getting closer and closer every day to the body and lifestyle I want for myself,

Actually taught me lots of lessons, about the mind, about psychology, about food, about humans, cooking, gym, exercises,

and specially about life.

So, in this series I’ll try to let here some of the most important lessons I learned from this, and maybe it can help you on your own path.

Beginning with what I consider the most important one, I call it:

No Shades of Gray

The biggest problem I had to deal with, and after speaking with most people who want to lose weight or deal with a health issue and achieve a goal, is that we want to keep floating on what I call “gray area”.

We tend to keep lying to ourselves to stay in comfort, with some variation of:

“It’s ok, I don’t really care”.

well, If you trully didn’t you wouldn’t be here.

To understand this concept, you need to understand this:

Who you are, at any-given moment of your life is simply defined by how you spend every second of your 24 daily hours,

Every single action, habit, routine and direction you take and how you choose to spend your sacred time, nothing else.

Doesn’t matter what is it,

be it a job that you hate, a behavior you have, something you want to achieve, or any other thing, it’s because you choose to spend your precious seconds going for that.

Either consciously, or unconsicously.

So if you want to change something in you, just find out what keeps yourself as that, and start changing second after second,

and do what most people can’t nowadays: take responsibility.

I mean, it is your time, and you’re trowing it away for what?

Addictions?

Comfort?

Cheap dopamine shots in your brain to keep you domesticated like a zombie?

C’mon…

are you really that weak to allow something or someone that’s not yourself spend the limited amount of your existence time in this earth doing what ever you don’t want to?

Well, then never ask for respect again, if not even you respect yourself.

fuck off please.

This is the real world, no one is coming to treat you like a child, take you out of the mess you got yourself into and walk the path you want to walk for yourself.

You’re the only representative of yourself and your goals.

You need to put the hours in, does not matter what is it,

and it’s hours outside your head and in the real world, not wondering,

otherwise, you’re just dreaming.

Want to get a new job? Well, suprise!

if you don’t start looking for something else, or qualify yourself to it, you won’t get it.

Not even god give you anything for free.

Want to become a runner?

Not too hard to figure out what a pro runner does every single day of his life, huh?

Become a business owner and build a huge brand?

Well, guess how someone who’s building a business spend the hours of their day? Or at least some of it.

Get in shape and have an amazing body?

Guess what? No magic shake will do it for you, they will just poison your body and mind.

It’s simple, and you know that.

The problem is that you’re still swimming in the gray area thinking one day you will have more free time, more money, more what ever or more and more and more,

You’re still giving yourself the comfort talk of inaction.

“It’s ok, it’s just this next episode”, and then the entire day passed binge-watching some shit that adds nothing to you.

“It’s ok, it is just this small piece of chocolate”, and the entire bar is gone, and your sugar addiction is sustained for a few hours.

“this week is crazy, next Monday I start working out every morning”, and then on Monday “oh I don’t have the right shoes for it”,

“After this one, I stop drinking” and well…next week there you are again.

“is just this…”

“Is just that…”

And blablabla,

You keep yourself in that gray area, just to feel better about not doing anything you want to do.

And even surround yourself with losers who have the same kind of behavior just to feel better about it.

If you actually want to reach anywhere with your life, that’s the first thing you need to understand.

Do not stay in the gray area, it will kill all your ambitions and goals.

Go black or white, right or left, do or don’t, but stop with the floating around the gray area, it won’t work,

Because if you don’t take the wheel and start steering to the direction you want.

It will keep you exactly where you are, or even further of where you want to be.

The first thing you need is to understand is not about the big actions, is about every single small action you take in your day-to-day life,

Every single second will either take you closer to your objective or further away from it,

No middle ground.

That’s why nowadays I learn to love running so much.

Running different from other sports, it relies on basically nothing,

Only on yourself, your mind,breathing control to not break, and eventually on a decent pair of shoes to not destroy your knees,

But in general, nothing else.

No team, special place or gear to go, weather conditions, or any kind of thing at all.

If I decided I am going to run every morning of my life, It’s my decision, and if I don’t go, it’s my fault.

Running does not give a shit if it’s raining, if it’s cold, if you’re in a good or bad mood, tired or not, if you’re on a different city or in a well known route.

No, it does not matter,

You have two options, you either go, or you don’t, and everything else, is just an excuse to keep yourself under comfort.

And if you choose to stay in comfort and do the action who will take you further from your goal, it’s ok also, we all have our relapses, but get your damm horses and be honest with yourself, take responsibility,

It was your damm choice, no one else, no other reason but yourself, you are exactly in the place you put yourself into.

Only have in mind that after your deviation for you to get back in track you will have to make double the effort, every time you delay or fuck up, you’re just adding work to your self later.

Ask yourself why are you doing it to yourself?

Where will you reach doing it?

And then once you realize that it does not matter how much you plan, the only thing you need to do is to start.

You will realize why the slogan of the biggest sport brand in the world it’s so simple, yet so effective.

And no, this is not sponsored by them, although I wish it was, haha.

So, how are you going to keep spending your seconds in this realm?

By going the direction YOU want to go, or just laying in the Gray areas?

You’re the one who will have to deal with the outcome later, it can be easier or harder.

Remember, Black or white, everything else is an excuse.

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This is the 1st part of a series of articles based on mindset changes from this weight loss path, if you wanna see more hit follow and leave a comment.

Cheers, brothers and sisters, have a nice day and never let comfort win!

-DGaspar.