I Went for a Run and Here’s Why I’m Not Doing it Again

I used to be a pretty decent runner when I was younger.

I was in the cross-country running club at school and entered all the long distance races on Sports Day. I never won but I was always in the Top Five.

Weirdly that would have felt like more of an achievement if I was a beauty queen or something.

I had countless meaningless medals hung up on my bedroom wall for the 5K ‘Fun Runs’ I did in the local park and I dreamed of running a marathon one day. This was of course before I’d even attempted a 10K. Don’t run before you can walk comes to mind…

Anyway, I never quite reached my goal of running a full marathon, although I did, just about, complete two half marathons so maybe that counts as a whole one?

The first one, I didn’t even own a pair of running shoes so miraculously completed the race in football boots. I thought my feet were going to fall off by the end of it.

The second one, I wasn’t cut out for it. I’d done zero training and was completely dehydrated. As I crossed the finish line, I was immediately taken away into the medic tent.

I swore I’d never run again.

And to this day, I’ve not entered a single race since then. Not even a 5K.

I’ve been on the treadmill at the gym — you know, the few times a year I actually drag my ass and go.

But I force myself to.

The simple fact of the matter is; I just don’t enjoy it like I used to as a kid.

I convinced myself it was the only way to stay active and maintain a healthy body weight.

I’ve been doing yoga in my living room for the past couple of months and I actually stick to it. I roll my mat out a few times a week and stretch to my heart’s content.

Granted, I thought I’d be a little more flexible by now and it’s not the most vigorous form of exercise, but it’s something — and it makes me feel good.

But then something happened.

I ate a takeaway

And lots of chocolate. And gin. All the gin.

I started to think maybe yoga wasn’t quite going to cut the mustard if I wanted to continue indulging and not turn into a complete slob.

I convinced myself I should go for a run. The very next morning. I set my alarm and my intention.

I woke up, fell out of bed into my running clothes and trainers, and off I went out the front door at 6.30 am.

Why do we do it?

After a few steps, I wanted to turn back around. I hadn’t told my husband I was going for a run nor had I told anyone else. He was sound asleep back home and would have no clue. There was no-one to hold me accountable other than myself.

But I kept going. Mainly because I’m quite hard on myself. I push through when sometimes I shouldn’t.

By the time I’d make it to the local lake (15 minutes down the road), I felt sick. My throat was sore, my earphones kept falling out of my ears, and a cloud of midges surrounded me as I quickly jammed my mouth shut.

A fellow lady jogger — with a full face of make up on, prancing like a unicorn with not an ounce of sweat — casually waved to me as she passed.

This was not my scene.

I headed back in the direction of home, stopping for breath a million times more, before eventually making it back to my front door.

The aftermath

I ran the tap and poured myself a giant glass of cold water — which barely touched the sides. I then slumped into the chair in the kitchen and tried to catch my breath.

It literally took a good half-hour before I was able to stand up without slumping back down again. And I spent the days that followed, struggling to get down the stairs from the pains in my legs.

I’ve become so much more aware lately about looking after myself.

It started with the getting up insanely early — because all the self-help books tell you to. But then I was neglecting my sleep in order to do that and so that wasn’t the right thing to do.

I’ve always run because it seems the right thing to do if you’ve eaten a little too much and aren’t keeping active. But the truth is, there are a million other things you can do to keep me moving.

The takeaway (not the food kind)

Everything we do in life — even if it’s to stay healthy — we should enjoy.

If you don’t enjoy something, don’t do it. There will always be something else out there for you.

Running is not for everyone and that’s okay.

Setting a goal to run a marathon when you’ve almost killed yourself doing half the distance is maybe not the finest idea.

Make goals that you’re actually motivated to and want to achieve.

Do what makes you happy. Simple.

“The best way to live your life: do what you love and don’t do what you don’t love.” ~Trevor Carss