I Wasted My Entire Week through Binge-watching
Here is what I learned from my watching spree
I am starting my teaching semester this upcoming week. Therefore, I have had to make a ton of preparation for my new semester. Almost all teaching went online, which means I need to rethink my entire teaching materials. I have a ton of deadlines, responsibilities, tasks, and never-ending to-do lists.
Yet, in the midst of all this busyness, I managed to waste almost my entire week through binge-watching.
Drowning in Binge
I watched “I am not OK with this”, “I am Thinking of Ending Things”, “Ratched”, “Misfits”, “Enola Holmes”, “The Adaptation”, “Tenet”, and “My Octopus Teacher”. In addition, I watched two Turkish dramas, each with a heavy emotional dose: Kirmizi Oda and Masumlar Apartmani. I feel a bit heavy now — and I must also admit this is deeply embarrassing.
My Brain is a Sponge Now
My brain now feels like a sponge — it feels as if I have sucked all the characters, stories, quotes, adventures, colors, emotions, struggles, paradoxes, and miseries. Layers and layers of storytelling are now messing up with my brain.
Why Do I Overload Myself with Human Drama?
I overloaded myself with all the human drama I could find out there. Why?
I consider myself a very focused and disciplined person. Why did I become so distracted? Damn it.
I think I just wanted to escape from all my tasks, responsibilities, burdens, and projects. I did not have a proper holiday or break this year — there was not enough room for relaxation or revitalization. The stress and anxiety were always running through my brain as an undercurrent.
I wanted to escape from my house — since I feel trapped at home for the last six months due to Coronavirus lockdowns.
I wanted to escape from myself — since I have managed to procrastinate and avoid all my research goals. I have an amazing capability to procrastinate creatively.
You Sometimes Need an Escape
Immersing yourself in the lives of others through films and dramas is a wonderful way of procrastination. Why is it so appealing? You travel to different worlds and lives. This satisfies your curiosity and provides your brain with immense escapism, entertainment, imagination, and dopamine.
Yet, it sucks when you lose so much time just watching things.
Making Sense of and Learning From My Binge-Watching Behaviour
I needed to make sense of this situation and turn it into a vehicle for learning. I needed to reflect on why I had such an unavoidable desire to escape.
Here is what I came up with:
Writing down these reflections on a page helped me feel a bit better. At least I was able to make sense of the situation (see number 1 above). I even managed to turn some of my watching experience into reflective questions and learning (see number 2 above). Here is one of the reflective pieces I have written when I watched “My Octopus Teacher”, for example.
Another contribution that I have made as a result of my watching spree was an educational video. With my friend Gokhan, I have created a YouTube video on the psychology of escapism and binge-watching, and how to survive and transcend it (in Turkish):
Creativity is Messy
Another thing I have done after watching all of this shit was to turn to some of my earlier artwork. When I looked at these doodles, I found them very sterile and choreographed. This bothered me. I have decided to make a mess over my earlier art. I wanted to save my work from too much order. The best way to do it is just to move your hand with the pencil randomly, without too much thinking. Your goal is to disturb your earlier work. Life is rarely orderly, so why was my art so orderly? I wanted to destroy order through a series of aggressive pencil touches. I made a perfect mess. It felt spectacular — I loved this messy version of my artwork much better. I think it better reflected and captured the natural chaos and mess of real life!
Curiosity is Expensive
Another lesson I have learned is that curiosity takes a lot of time — so it is pretty expensive. When you are curious, you sometimes forget your sense of time and place. You are just being curious, which means you spend a lot of time just pursuing your interests and curiosities. Being human is being curious. Of course, we will waste some time. Our minds are not machines — they do not work linearly. Productivity is for machines — we should seek creativity.
Curiosity, imagination, creativity are all non-linear. They are messy and they sometimes make you feel that your life is all messed up.
Failures are OK — Pivot, Learn, Get Better Each Time
In the scheme of bigger things, it will not matter that much that I wasted a week. It sometimes happens. As long as you do not turn it into a habit, you will probably be fine. Consider it as a learning experience. No failure is wasted if you turn it into learning.
You Take Yourself Way Too Seriously
Perhaps we take ourselves too seriously. We are too much focused on success. This obsession takes a heavy toll on our lives. Perhaps we should not worry that much about how we are being perceived by others or our peers. All of these social expectations or pressures distract us from what is really essential for our spirit. We need freedom in following our own journeys of continuous learning, growth, and experimentation. This means we need a lot of chances for failure. We should give ourselves a lot of opportunities to fail.
Your Life is So Much Bigger Than Work
Our lives are too short and too precious to waste on just work. It is just work — our lives are bigger than our careers. We have a million desires, curiosities, interests, priorities that are bigger than our workplace.
When you think that you have a big problem at work, think about the following: What will you think about this problem after one year?
Let me tell you the answer: Your problem is not that big. Not that important. You will figure it out. You are capable of solving this and so much more. You give yourself too little credit — have a bigger faith in yourself and your capabilities. You will learn and grow a lot as a result of these problems or challenges. So, problems are your friend.
How Will You Achieve Your Own Renaissance?
The world waits for your unique storytelling and contribution. The world expects your own masterpieces and these works should be at the center of your world. These call for larger-than-life thinking. You need to be a renaissance person. You need to carve your own path — and this will be your journey — yours alone.
How can you achieve your own renaissance? Here is a path forward:
Learning is Your Magic Wand in Life
Nothing goes to waste in your life if you transform it through the power of learning. Learning is your magic wand that turns failures into experiences, boredom into reflection, and a lump of coal into a diamond.
Nothing is Wasted — All is Life Experience
I created a lot of ideas after watching so many movies and dramas. I am now full of buckets of ideas. I have written down pages after pages of fresh ideas in my notebooks. So, not all is wasted. Even if you waste your time, you can turn it into learning through a bit of reflection, sense-making, writing, and artwork.
Curiosity is Your Inner Child — Cherish It Even When It is Rebellious
Even though your curiosity is totally irresponsible and sometimes out-of-hand, you need to cherish it. It makes you human. It makes you vulnerable, colorful, messed up, creative, non-linear, and imaginative. And these are the qualities we need more than ever — especially as we are entering into the dawn of a new era unleashed by artificial intelligence. Therefore, you must cherish your curiosity even if it is costly.