Summary

Anne, a female skydiving instructor, faces daily challenges of sexism and discrimination in a male-dominated field, struggling for respect and acceptance despite her experience and passion for the sport.

Abstract

Anne, a dedicated skydiving instructor, shares her personal experiences with gender discrimination in her profession. Despite her qualifications and love for teaching, she encounters skepticism and rejection from both clients and colleagues who question her abilities solely based on her gender. Anne's resilience is tested as she navigates a work environment where she must consistently prove herself to be taken seriously. She emphasizes the emotional toll of these experiences, particularly when the lack of respect comes from those she admires. Nevertheless, Anne remains committed to her passion, aiming to foster a more inclusive community and encourage other women facing similar obstacles.

Opinions

Anne believes that societal norms and teachings contribute to the perception that women are less capable in physically demanding jobs.
She feels that the respect she receives is often undermined by her gender, with people assuming she has less experience or skill than her male counterparts.
Anne points out that even women, who might advocate for emancipation, can be reluctant to trust a female instructor, revealing a complex layer of internalized sexism.
She acknowledges the emotional impact of constant rejection and doubt, expressing that it hurts deeply despite her efforts to appear strong.
Anne is critical of the idea that having female instructors is merely a superficial benefit for companies, rather than a genuine commitment to equality.
She is determined to continue in her role not for the sake of proving others wrong, but for her love of skydiving and her desire to support and uplift other women in the sport.
Anne extends solidarity to others, including male instructors who face their own biases, emphasizing the importance of mutual respect and community support for the success and survival of any society.

I Was Told I am Not Enough Because I’m a Woman

The harsh truth of trying to survive in a men’s world

Photo taken by a colleague. Used with permission

My path has never been easy. From the beginning I knew, I'd always be dealing with alpha males, pride and ego. I knew I'd have to be strong if I want to succeed and I am not even talking about physical strength. I knew it wasn't going to be an easy path. I knew I'd struggle.

But I never expected to get pushed back from the very same people who once helped me to get this far.

It hurts. A lot.

I'm a skydiving instructor. I hold several ratings in the sport, I train students and I take strangers on tandem skydives. I have a passion for skydiving. And teaching. It's hat I enjoy most in life. To teach others.

And yes, I’m a woman too.

While there are people saying the world is changing and we shouldn't always complain about not getting enough attention, let me tell you what.

I do not want attention. I do not like standing in the center.

I just want respect.

That is all. I want to be respected for who I am. I want to be seen as the person I am and not as the female instructor.

I thought becoming a tandem instructor was going to be hard. Physically hard. To prepare myself, I went to the gym. I build up muscles that broadened my back to a size it doesn’t look ‘feminine’ anymore when I wear a dress.

But I never knew the actual challenge wasn’t going to be a physical one. I didn’t know how strong I had to be mentally to withstand the daily fight of having to prove myself.

Almost every day of my life I get to experience rejection.

A female passenger who doesn’t want to jump with me because she thinks I’m too weak. Yes, us women we’re the worst. I have experienced the worst rejection in this sport from women. We all want emancipation and all that crap but when it boils down to trusting another woman, we simply deny.

Just yesterday again when I approached my next client "hi, I'm Anne and we'll be jumping together" the lady responded "it's nothing personal but I would trust a male instructor more than you". Usually I don't do it but as she requested, I tried to swap around the costumers as she was happy for me to take her daughter but not her.

My colleague who was then jumping with her told her I had a lot more experience than him made her very insecure and regretting her statement as she then wanted to change back again.

Once again, just because I was a woman, she assumed I must have less experience.

Male passengers are looking at me questioning my skills. They test me mentally. They try to break me. Not all of them but some. Before we are jumping out of an airplane together where all the control, literally all the control of both of our lives is in my hands. Not that smart but hey, that’s how we humans are.

And then you got colleagues. Those who joke with you and those who make jokes but don't think it's a joke. They push you down. Every single day at work.

What about your employers you might think. Yes, they are the best. They all want female instructors. Because ‘it looks good’ for their company. But on a daily basis they will make you feel you’re not worthy as your male colleagues. They’ll talk down on you in front of others. Say things like "she won’t find the way back to the airfield".

And I do know the problem is a lot more complex than simply wanted acceptance. I know it’s because of the society we live in and what we are told and taught to do as women. It’s because of what we are forced to believe. Women simply can't do physically challenging jobs. Period.

And yes, I know to ignore them. I know to not get hurt by these people and just let it bounce off me. I know to just take a breath and do my thing.

But you know what?

It still hurts. Every single time.

I don't cry. Not in front of anyone who says or does these things. But deep inside, I am bleeding.

A statement I received hit me a few months back, hurt me so much I didn’t know if I wanted to do this anymore. To prove myself every single day. Try to do more and become better and stronger just to outdo my male colleagues every time.

It hurts so much because the person who once taught me how to skydive said it. It comes from a person who’s someone I’ve always looked up to and many others do too. It comes from a person I believed wanted me to show the world what I can do.

And now, I was told I wasn't enough. I'd never be on the level my male colleagues are. Disregarding of years in the sport or jump numbers, my experience will never count.

Simply because I’m a woman.

I know I am heart-broken right now. I know I am angry. Disappointed. Frustrated.

But I also know I will continue. And not to show you anything. Or the world.

But because I have passion. In the sport. I want to teach others and build a better community. And because I want to grow. I want to learn more. I want to grow. As a person and as a skydiver. And I want to stand up for all the women out there struggling.

I know being a skydiving instructor has brought me the biggest smiles and joys in life. I have laughed, screamed and cried together with my passengers or students. I have grown connections all over the world that withstand longer than the duration of a freefall.

I will continue because I believe if I don't make a change, more women will suffer, leave the sport out of exhaustion and frustration.

I know there are many male instructors who are facing similar challenges because they are younger or shorter than the average skydiving instructor. Because they don’t have the biggest biceps or triceps. I know we will always be judged by our looks. But I know that only those who are mentally strong enough will succeed in this sport.

And if you're one of them, I want you to know, you are not alone.

And everyone else. Please just show respect. That's all I'm asking for. We don't want fame, nor attention. We just want to be accepted for the work we do.

If I’m crap at something please tell me. But don’t say it’s because I’m a woman I can’t do something. Show me respect and ask if I need some advice or support. Because I do. We all do.

In skydiving and in life.

Without a functioning community showing respect both ways no society will survive.

Be kind. Be respectful.

Thank you.

P.S.: If you’re someone facing a similar problem in the same or different sport or trade, I’m here to listen, share ideas, and support each other.