I Was Thrown off a Bus

For defending a suicidal woman

Recently in the town I live in, there was a woman who had gotten to the point of no return. So she climbed onto the top of a bridge to try to end her life. Luckily, someone saw her and called the police, fire service, and ambulance. After a few hours, they managed to talk her down and get her to the hospital, where she is getting the help she needs. Great news all around.

I only knew about this because I was on the bus on the way to the supermarket, and it was delayed because there was a huge traffic backup from where they had to close the roads. No big deal, needs must. They covered the story in the local online paper, keeping her name out of it, of course.

I’ve been vocal on here and elsewhere in the past about suicide. And I always will be. It is a topic we need to discuss a lot more and stop the silence that surrounds it. People need to be able to feel comfortable telling someone they’re having suicidal thoughts without being dismissed, called selfish, or accused of attention seeking.

I had to get the bus the next day to collect my new glasses, which incidentally I now hate. I loved them when I tried them on but in the cold light of day, they make me look frumpy.

Anyway, usually, I have my headphones in and drown everyone out, staying in my cosy little bubble. But I had a headache so I gave the music a miss, and I’m glad I did.

I was sitting on the grimy seats, minding my own business when a great lump of a man opposite me started talking to his friend. I say talking to. A better description would be talking at. His friend looked so bored and uncomfortable that it looked like he wanted to climb out of the tiny windows to get away from the shit spouting anal gland.

Fat Guy: “ I was twenty minutes late for my doctor’s appointment cos of that woman on the bridge.”

Fat Guy’s Friend: “Yeah, but they still saw you.”

Fat Guy: “It’s not the point, selfish f***ing b****.

I was seething already clenching my fists, wanting to rip big stuff a new one. But I tried to calm myself down. I told myself I would be off the bus soon, and he would be someone else’s problem.

Fat Guy: “Should have f***ing jumped and done us all a favour.”

Aaaaand you’re done.

I don’t remember what I said word for word, but I know I called him something like a heartless sack of fat and yelled at him for swearing in front of children. I told him I hope you need that help one day and someone gives it to you; then you can see what a selfish little man you really are. Or words to that effect. I probably wasn’t as articulate as I think I was because I was so furious.

By this point, we had both stood up and he was squaring up to me. But it’s hard to square up when you are as round as he was. His mate told him to sit down, and my adrenaline was pumping so hard that I hadn’t realised the bus had come to a screeching halt, and the driver was walking towards us. He told me I needed to get off and calm down, I knew he was right but it still pissed me off.

I didn’t argue. I wanted to be off there and nowhere near that sack of shite. And I started the fight so I wouldn’t have had a leg to stand on.

The half-hour walk calmed my nerves and cleared my head. I still haven’t told Charlie about this. He worries about me getting beaten up by strangers for mouthing off. Starting to think he might be onto something.