“I Was Stalked by an Old Geezer.”

It became a daily occurrence that happened while I was eating lunch in my car while parked in a cemetery- Circa 2000’

My last job was in a small town 15 miles away from the small town I live in. I was an optician and I worked for two eye doctors who had their own practice located in a renovated house in a residential neighborhood. They hired me without experience, but the doctors trained me. Well, to be honest the wonderful staff trained me for the most part. This is for another story.

It was my habit to get fast food for lunch and then I’d take it to the local cemetery so I could eat and then read in my car while enjoying some peace and quiet. My coworkers teased me about this habit by calling the cemetery, “Pam’s Elmwood Cafe.” Oh well, at least they knew where to find me.

While I was a newbie a couple of my coworkers took pity on me because of this and invited me to lunch at their homes. Everyone else who worked there lived in town. It took awhile, but I finally convinced them I was fine at the Elmwood Cafe’ and so they soon accepted I had an introverted side that needed some daily solitude.

There was only one problem I encountered at The Elmwood and that was an old man who soon spotted me. At first I merely noticed him, too, driving around in his old car and I would sometimes see him stop. I never saw him actually get out of his car. Not even to visit a grave. So what the hell?

This went on almost every day for a couple of weeks and so I decided I should change my routine. I began to go to the local park instead. There was also a large lake close by it so I parked around it, along with many other people lunching outside their offices. I didn’t like it as much though as there was quite a bit of traffic that went by which broke my concentration. So eventually it was back to my favorite haunt — no pun intended.

A couple of times when this creep drove by he passed so closely that he almost side swiped my car! Afterwards he would slowly drive through the whole cemetery only to come back and pass me again, this time slowing down to like 10 mph.

I am nothing short of stubborn when it comes to keeping my habits and that’s probably why I put up with the old guy for weeks before I decided I would report him to the cops. I didn’t do it out of fear, but because he was seriously getting on my nerves.

The police gave me two options. #1, they would set up a sting and try to catch him in the act, which sounded iffy and complicated. Or, #2, they would have a talk with him. I chose the latter and soon I heard back from an officer who said that the old guy, an 80 year old, had said he was visiting his wife’s grave and he had angrily told them there was no law against that. The officer went on to refer to him as “an old geezer,’” and advised me to either ignore him or eat someplace else.

I should mention that at this time my husband was working in Houston, TX. during the week. The company flew him home every Friday evening and flew him back very early on Monday mornings. So I was alone during the week. Although I had told him about this creep, I convinced him he was harmless so he stayed informed but uninvolved.

Finally I decided the old geezer and I were going to dance…I am nothing if not brave and daring.

The road through the cemetery was shaped like a horseshoe with one end marked ‘entrance’ and the other ‘exit.’ Instead of driving back into the back of the cemetery where I had been parking, I started parking just inside the entrance. In this way, when he spotted me from the other side and if he wanted to pass my car, he would have to drive out into traffic before he could reenter. I knew it wasn’t much of a deterrent, but hey, I didn’t have a lot to work with. Anyway, it didn’t work as he merely performed the added drive. Shite.

Next I started taking a little stroll in the cemetery after I’d eat. I had my phone with me, which was a big whoop since it didn’t have a camera, and pepper spray, of course; I’m not totally stupid. I’d stop and read headstones as I inspected some of the flowering bushes and trees as I walked, but he merely stayed parked across the way and remained in his car while he’d watch me. Hells bells…I was daring him to approach me, but he wouldn’t budge.

After a week of this, I gave up. I would have to put up with him. Then one day he came into our office to get his glasses adjusted. I asked my colleague to take care of him while I went and hid in the bathroom. She laughed, but agreed.

Dear god, I could hear him all the way down the hall. He was a blustery old goat who had blathered on and on about his daughter being a nurse. My thought was, ‘really? She needs to get you on some meds.’ No one else cared about his minutia either and when he finally shuffled out she came and knocked on the door. Although she was chuckling, she said “you owe me. He’s a mess.”

I don’t know how long this stalking went on because I finally decided to totally ignore him. I decided to make him as inconsequential as all the headstones. He was a nuisance; a pathetic pest with a penchant for obsessions and so unless he became overtly dangerous, or truly sideswiped me, he didn’t exist. However, I did put a baseball bat on my car’s floorboard. After all, I still wanted him to give me an excuse to smack him like a bug!

Have you ever been subjected to someone’s obsession, pestering behavior or unwanted advances? How did you handle it? Did you get to SMACK them upside the head?… Aw come on, tell me you did! It’ll make my day.

Thanks for reading and happy holidays everyone!