I Was Slut-Shamed by a Fellow Writer for Posting Half-Naked Pictures Online

I always tried to see the beauty in my curves and shapes and put it out there. Was it now considered somewhat slutty and problematic, as she described it in her article?

My date and I were sitting in a cozy bar with dim lighting and candles around the tables last night as my phone kept lighting up every other second. As a bartender, he was telling me about all the nuances of my favorite drinks from the bar I love going to when he suddenly looked at my phone that kept ringing and lighting up.

‘Is everything okay?’ — he asked.

‘Umm, yes, it’s just… the entire Twitter’s defending my ass… literally.’

You see, that morning I woke up from the ream of messages from my fellow Medium writers and followers, talking about the same article some woman wrote here on Medium.

It took me a few minutes to realize that the article was written about me. The specific details from my personal life and social media were intentionally left in it to not only publicly proclaim me a slut but also get my attention as she explained to me later on.

For a while there, I was speechless. Do people that follow my social media and read my Medium work really think I am a slut? I mean, I was never shy to share my bikini pictures or underwear pictures, and I was never ashamed of it. If anything, I always found it inspirational. Whether I had problems with my self-esteem or body issues, I always tried to see the beauty in my curves and shapes and put it out there. Was it now considered somewhat slutty and problematic, as she described it in her article?

“It would be too easy to refer to this woman as a slut, but I think there’s something a hell of a lot more serious going on.”

However, the comments defending me and my rights to post any photographs I want were amusing. As I went through the first part of the comments from my colleagues, friends, followers, I started crying. Not because I cared about the article or her opinion, but because of the support I was given by all these people who really cared.

Not just about me, but about the female sexuality and its oppression that’s been happening for ages.

And just when we thought our society was ready to accept female nipples, underwear, and naked pictures of women without making it sexual or gross — or accept women making money by using their body — there we were, reading another article from a WOMAN, shaming someone who didn’t do any harm to her but simply posted some half-naked pictures with some jokes she called stupid.

Fighting for sex positivity and creating a magazine exclusively dedicated to sexuality and its exploration, I, as a chief editor, want to promote the idea of women being free from all the prejudice around their sexuality. I want to see my fellow women doing whatever they want with their body — making money, enjoying it, loving and cherishing it, and if sharing their looks online with the world helps them spread this message even more, why blame them?

I love looking at pictures of professional models in my feed. I love seeing my fellow female writers getting brave and sharing their body and overcoming any insecurities they might have about it. Because after all, we are here to support them and remind them once again of how beautiful and unique they are.

Don’t you think we wouldn’t feel so much better about our bodies and its varieties if not for the real pictures of the real people in our feed who are sharing them with a positive message: “We are all beautiful. Love yourself!”

Female beauty inspires me, and I never oversexualize it. But according to this writer, a woman can’t own her sexuality because that might make her a target for sexual harassment or rape.

Based on that, I can’t even imagine what her honest opinion is about jobs like webcam, prostitution, dominatrix, or OnlyFans modeling is. Empowering jobs that have helped many students, mothers, and women survive in this world and live a decent, proud life.

I am not afraid or ashamed of my sexuality and body, and I know that in the past, I’ve encouraged other women to overcome their insecurities and share their pictures with the world. It was beautiful and truly empowering for them.

I know how many women are out there being slut-shamed for the way they dress, put makeup on, or take pictures, and the idea of such a person shaming their fellow writers within a supportive community like that just doesn’t sit right with me.

People should support each other no matter what. Especially women.

And even though she then said it was just an attempt to help me, I don’t think that was honest care and help. Having a bad hangover when you’re 22 years old is not a cry for help as she implied in her story, neither is being heartbroken and sharing my emotions with my readers.

I love drinking and occasionally smoking weed. But the fact that I share those things with my readers and joke about them is just a way of connecting with more people and being more real to them. I am who I am. Naked or not, sober or drunk, I’m trying to treat this life much simpler and not be afraid of showing my real self to the people who choose to be my followers.

But if you are concerned about someone, you take completely different actions.

When someone has a drug addiction, you get concerned and reach out asking if there’s anything you can do to help them, not writing an article calling them junkie.

When you see a woman who’s selling her naked pictures or pictures of her feed to pay for her education, you don’t slut-shame her and bring on display. You support them in the way they decided to pursue their career and wish them all the best luck.

And should I say, when an editor of a sex-positive magazine shares a picture of her butt encouraging her fellow women to do the same and join the team, we should not write an entire article calling her a whore in so many ways.

After all, the female body is absolutely beautiful in all its sizes and shapes. So let’s make it clear for everyone.

As Jayne Moor once said,

Be the woman you needed as a girl.