I Was Paralyzed from Head to Toe for Over a Month

I was shocked by who helped me and who didn’t seem to care

My feet went numb. It was disconcerting but I figured it was a pinched nerve. I had a busy day ahead and tried to ignore it. Then, my legs went numb, and my hands.

I was a lawyer in a small southern town. I had important court cases that day. People were counting on me. Within another couple of hours, I could barely speak. I couldn't move my tongue. I was scared.

My wife dropped me off at the podunk hospital that served the town. ER staff took me in on a gurney and began running tests. I kept getting worse. I struggled to breathe. The hospital put me in a room while they waited for test results.

I laid there waiting, terrified. A visitor appeared, holding a grocery store bouquet of flowers with no vase. It was a client I was supposed to represent in court the next day. He had several pending felonies, some violent. He began asking questions: What was wrong with me? When would I get out? If I die, would he get a refund? I stared at him blankly. My face and tongue were totally paralyzed. He finally left, angry.

The next day I was taken by ambulance to a bigger city hospital. The tiny hospital was totally stumped, but they knew I was dying. At the new hospital, a team of specialists quickly assembled. They asked whether I’d had a recent viral infection. I had. I looked left to right to indicate “yes.” My eyeballs were about the only thing that still worked.

They told me I likely had Guillain-Barré syndrome (GBS), a rare condition where the immune system aggressively attacks the nerves. My neurologist said if I had stayed one more day at the first ER I would have died. I spent the next month in the hospital while I had daily plasma exchange and immunoglobulin therapy. I learned months later the immunoglobulin therapy cost me ten grand per treatment. This happened six times.

I had no health insurance.

I had to do breathing tests every four hours around the clock. Some people with GBS have their lungs shut down and have to go on a ventilator. I was on the cusp of that happening, but they knew if I had to go that route I might not survive. My whole world became about breathing.

This was the most humbling experience of my life. I lost control of my bowels and urinary tract. My mind was not affected, other than being embarrassed and terrified.

I don’t recall my wife visiting me in the month I was there. Maybe she did. Even though I couldn’t communicate I could have used the emotional support. My BCF (best cousin forever) did come. Every day. She was amazing.

I finally got a bit better. They sent me for a spinal tap. The doctor who administered it was the most cruel man I’ve ever met. It wasn’t that the pain was staggering, though it was. I could barely move and couldn’t follow his demands quickly enough. He screamed at me with a string of curse words. He called me names. He finally walked out with the needle still stuck in my spine. I passed out. The next day a nurse apologized to me and said that my urgent need had interrupted the doctor’s plans to play golf.

I was finally released but in a wheelchair. My wife picked me up, but she was stoic, even angry. She had to rent an apartment while I was gone since I couldn’t manage the stairs leading up to our rental home.

I don’t remember any sympathy from her, but she fed me, helped me use the restroom, and pushed me as needed in the wheelchair. I was grateful even though I felt our marriage was over.

During our whole time together she had demanded that I get rid of everything that mattered to me. This included my family, my friends, and all my treasures. As I got better I realized that while I was paralyzed she sold absolutely everything that belonged to me. I had collections of many things, from Beanie Babies and dolls to Walther PPKs like James Bond used in the early movies. Everything was sold under the guise of her needing money to survive. I got that, but she disposed of things that had no value other than the fact I loved them. All I had left was her, and secretly I didn’t like her anymore.

I found out that while I was paralyzed one of the judges had required that she show up in court to represent my clients. This was insane. She was good at many things but completely incompetent regarding legal matters. There was nothing I could do. My professional liability insurance would have dropped me if they had known.

We were desperate financially. When I was well and making money my wife had given 20% of our gross income to our church. I had argued with her that our income was actually what was leftover after the overhead was paid, but she repeated back the words of our pastor, “Do you want to be blessed on the gross or the net?” I didn’t feel very blessed while I was in the wheelchair.

We’d been giving up to two thousand a month to our church, but when we asked our pastors to help us with food they declined, saying that without our offering they had no money available. It turns out we had been covering half the expenses of the church.

To my astonishment, my Mormon friends showered us with food and cash. I was not a Mormon. In fact, my church taught that Mormons were an evil cult. I did not see that one coming.

I had maintained a busy solo law practice. I didn’t charge my clients enough and took more cases than I could handle to try to survive. The lawyers in town got together and divided up my caseload. All my client's needs were met. No one asked for a refund, not even the criminal asshole who asked me for one when it looked like I was dying.

I was in a wheelchair for a year. Rehab sucked but eventually, I could walk again. I had residual paralysis in my face for another few years, but it mostly resolved. I still can’t whistle.

Five percent of people who contract Guillain-Barré syndrome die. Some remain paralyzed for life. Most folks recover, but, like me, it’s a long hard road. I stayed married to my wife for nearly ten more years. Love was gone, but I was loyal to my own detriment.

The hospital forgave my $120,000 bill.

I’m happier now than I’ve ever been.

I’m a former pastor and attorney who is also a trans woman. I’ve had an amazing life and look forward to telling you many more poignant and amazing stories. Please follow me and consider buying me a beverage by clicking here. Thank you.