I Was Laid Off From My Tech Job Today

And it might just be the best thing to have happened

I got the dreaded e-mail at 9:00 a.m. In big, bold letters, I was informed of our organizational restructuring and that my position was impacted and eliminated as a result. I reached out to my Director informing him of the e-mail which was followed by a hasty 15-minute call going over the lengthy ‘Separation Agreement’ that would be sent to me for signature after 24 hours.

What I expected to be a regular Thursday ended up completely altering my plans and trajectory for the next few months in a matter of moments. I saw both professional and personal milestones fall to the wayside in an instant as the letters on the screen bounced before my eyes.

Shortly after the call ended, I started getting kicked off of internal systems one by one until I finally lost access to it all. I locked my corporate-loaned laptop one last time and waited for the emotions to sink in.

While this isn’t the case for many, I consider myself lucky to actually enjoy the company that I worked for. It was known for its welcoming culture, flexible benefits, and competitive hiring. I worked extremely hard to secure a position at this company and was overflowing with gratitude when it happened.

I couldn’t have predicted the twists and turns that took place during my tenure — this being the latest installment in the series — but I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Throughout my time at this company, I’ve made wonderful connections, learned from influential and intelligent people, and have been challenged to grow and upskill professionally.

My time at a recognized tech company has been a blessing for my career and the references that I get to leave with speak volumes to my contributions.

But I can’t deny that among the delicate strings of gratitude are closely woven feelings of rejection and loss. In a society that programs us to work from the age of sixteen, our career choices become etched into our identity.

Far too often and for far too long, I’ve introduced myself in reference to my job or title. Almost as if to justify consuming space in this country, I’ve had to constantly detail my economic contributions alongside my name.

And then suddenly, that part of my identity was stripped away.

Like a lover that no longer wants me. I was served papers that declared the end of our relationship with an abrupt full stop. A decision I did not contribute to or agree with, simply suffered the fate of. It takes at least two to be in a relationship — personal or professional — and I was removed from the equation.

In the blink of an eye, I lost a community of people that I engaged with on a daily basis. Thousands of people who were available at the click of a button to talk about new initiatives, burnout strategies, and occasional gossip. I lost a sense of belonging and societal purpose.

And I never got closure.

I was made redundant alongside some 500 other people and suddenly began questioning my worth. The sleepless nights, the brainstorming, the plans I had made for 2024, the commitments I had made and the projects I planned. Everything was poured slowly and painfully down the drain like a leftover glass of wine from the night before.

It wouldn’t have taken much for me to immediately spiral further upon hearing the news and begin questioning my skills and performance. But the overwhelming support I received from peers showed me otherwise.

The work I’ve done and the major changes I’ve facilitated at this growing company are enough validation for me to leave with confidence. I know what my contributions have led to during my tenure and I know from the relationships I’ve made that I’ll be missed. And that’s enough for me.

The way I see it, getting laid off was probably the best thing for me in this phase of my life.

Not only do I get to leave with a plethora of references and resources, but I also have the privilege of being associated with a notable technology company.

My salary allowed for a handsome severance and bonus payout and the situation qualifies for unemployment assistance.

I no longer wake up with anxiety or have to worry about late nights and early mornings. I’m no longer dreaming about work and deadlines, overthinking sarcastic comments, and pre-planning my tasks for the week.

I have financial security with all the time in the world to focus on what matters the most — writing.

A dream come true, really.

I never expected or wanted to be laid off and I have a long journey ahead of me filled with job applications and interviews. But it’s hard to ignore all the wonderful things that came with the unfavorable circumstances.

Our society was built on the basis of grooming future labor that can continue to stimulate the economy. We are born, we go to school, we get a job, we get married, we have children, and we continue the cycle.

But that’s not what we were ever meant to do.

Having a job is an expectation and a trend rather than a necessity for human survival. The requirement to have a job in order to survive is a product of capitalism.

We were meant for so much more as humans. I want to spend my days in the sun harvesting fruits and vegetables from my garden without a Zoom timer counting down five minutes until my next call.

I want to build and create a home to share with my future offspring. I want to teach them about the beauty that exists around and within them. I want to teach them to identify as their own individuals and to not tie their self-worth to the company they work for or the title they possess.

Who we are never should have been associated with what we do. Not professionally, anyway. I’d rather be judged for the person that I am and for the creative work I pour into the world than for a little rating on a scale of 1–5 once a year that is entirely driven by a different agenda.

This layoff has been a breath of fresh air for me. A chance to pause and reflect on the type of life I want to lead; the kind of legacy I want to leave behind.

I’ve always found the right opportunity for me and I have confidence in my technical abilities to find the next best thing. But I may never get an opportunity like this again and I plan on capitalizing on that by focusing on me and figuring out who I am beyond just a Data Guru at a notable tech company.

I’m giddy with excitement at the opportunity to figure that out. To do what’s natural to all of us as human beings — soul searching.

Despite the heartbreak and the confusion, I know I’m going to be okay. Maybe even better. But I would never get the opportunity to find out if I didn’t lose my job and for that, I couldn’t be more grateful.

These next few weeks — maybe months — will be undoubtedly intense and laborious, but they won’t be the end of Elishah.

In fact, this will finally be the beginning of my journey back to me