I was invited to dine with the ship’s captain – here’s why

It’s happened twice now!

I first started cruising about twenty years ago. That first time, I had no idea what to expect on a cruise but my memories of watching The Love Boat with my mother as a child had filled my head with ideas of weddings at sea conducted by the captain and crew affairs. I wouldn’t describe the cruises I have taken as exciting but I have met the captain of the ship twice and I was invited to dine with him.

It’s a real honour to have dinner with the captain and some people say that you only get invited if you’re famous or important but it’s not true. The captain’s table is usually reserved for senior officers and invited guests and very few of the thousands of people who cruise know how to get there. The good news is, you don’t have to be a celebrity but I did make myself known on two cruises and those are the times when I got invited to have dinner with him. Here’s what happened.

Be famous — or infamous!

The first time was in September 2004. I was on a Mediterranean cruise with my sister and parents on board The Carousel and it was meant to be the last hurrah with my family before I got married the following year. My parents believe that we got invited to dine with the ship’s captain randomly, and I never told them otherwise, but it’s not true.

It was one of the old fashioned cruises where almost everyone was elderly or retired and the entertainment on board was very sedate. It wasn’t like the fun-filled modern ships with waterparks and cinemas and karting tracks. This was a very grown up affair.

On the second night of that cruise, there was a formal night for all passengers and a Captain’s Cocktail Party which was reserved for loyal guests who had cruised with the company numerous times. It was only our third time and we didn’t get an invitation but my sister and I, being young and bold, decided to sneak in to the party and see what it was all about.

Actually, there was very little sneaking involved. We just put on some fancy clothes and breezed right in. I grabbed a glass of bubbly and a little piece of bruschetta drenched in caviar (which honestly tasted very bland) and acted like we had every reason to be there.

The party itself was a little stale, if truth be told. My sister remarked that it was like “God’s waiting room,” and it basically consisted of the most senior crew members wearing their finest uniforms and networking with people who had been on too many cruises to remember them all. In short, it was dull.

Of course, we got caught. Lino, the maitre d’ recognised us from the restaurant the night before. He had reason to tell off some of the waiters for trying to flirt with me and my sister, so he knew us instantly. He came over to us and I couldn’t see a way to escape. It was too busy. I felt the caviar stick in my throat and the bubbles, which had been going down nicely until then, started gassing up in my anxious belly. He didn’t tell us to leave, but he stood in front of us, with a huge smirk on his face.

‘Having a nice time, ladies?’

‘Yes thanks,’ we said in unison. I looked at my sister. She felt just as guilty as me obviously since her face was the colour of beetroot.

‘I’m surprised to see you here,’ he said.

‘Just… uh… wanted to meet the captain. See what he’s like. You know how it is,’ I said. My sister giggled.

‘Really? Is that so?’ Lino raised one eyebrow.

‘We were just leaving actually. We have somewhere else to be,’ I said, rolling my eyes like I had ten places to be and my life was so busy.

‘Good! I’ll see you at dinner then,’ he grinned.

When we saw him at dinner later, and every night after that, he smirked at us. He knew our secret. We had gatecrashed the captain’s cocktail party. Word got around the waiting staff and several comments and jokes were made throughout the trip that went over my parents’ heads. We were a little bit naughty — the bad girls of that very stuffy cruise.

Later that week, after a day trip to Monte Carlo, we found an invitation waiting in our cabin. We had been invited to the captain’s table. My mother was thrilled. She had just been to one of the most glamorous places on earth and now she was going to have dinner with the captain, but I had this dread in the pit of my stomach at the idea because I wondered if he had invited us so he could give us a stern talking to. Of course, that wasn’t true, but my guilty conscience would not let me get excited.

As I was seated at the table, where my family of four and two couples were about to eat, Lino walked past and winked at me and my sister. I am almost one hundred percent sure that he had recommended us for an invitation because I later found out that senior staff can put forward passenger names as suggestions.

So, that’s the first way I got invited to dine with the captain, although I obviously do not advocate for anyone gatecrashing private events. I got invited because I was infamous rather than famous.

Catch the captain’s eye

The second time doesn’t make such a good story but it was lovely. A few months later, my husband and I cruised the Adriatic Sea in a very small ship called The Emerald for our honeymoon and we were invited for that sole reason — we were newlyweds.

There were only around eight hundred people on the ship. It really was small! The captain mingled regularly with the guests and we were all in the unique position of being able to see or speak to him at some point during the week. Twice he came onto the stage during the evening show to make announcements. This captain had a romantic side and the first night he announced to everyone in the theatre that it was our honeymoon. We got a round of applause. On another night, we came back from a trip to Venice to find an invitation waiting in our cabins.

This time it felt different. I was excited and very giggly. I honestly cannot remember who else was at the table, other than the cruise director, but I do remember the captain saying that we were the only newlyweds on the ship and he didn’t often see honeymooners, so that’s why we were invited. That surprised me. I really thought a romantic cruise would be a common way to spend a honeymoon but The Emerald rarely saw any young newlyweds.

Be unusual

To sum up, both times I have been an unusual type of passenger, the first time because I was plucky enough to try and gatecrash a party (and the reason I gave was because I wanted to meet the captain) and the second time because I was a honeymooner.

If you want to be invited to the captain’s table, my advice would be to catch the eye of the senior staff for all the right reasons. I know lots of travel bloggers and cruising vloggers who have been on dozens of cruises and never once met the captain, so being well-known or a reviewer is not enough. You have to endear yourself to them in some way and both times, for me, it was accidental.

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