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Abstract

e blood is boiling in me.”</p><p id="54ef">Hell, I even set it to a soundtrack.</p><p id="4ed0">But then. . . but then I got this comment:</p><blockquote id="1073"><p>Trump’s presidency? GTFOH dumbass.</p></blockquote><p id="3ff6">Gulp.</p><p id="05fa">Okay, first of all, I had to Google GTFOH. It means “Get the Fuck Out of Here.” Dumbass is self-explanatory. Get the fuck out of where? Out of Medium? I’m confused about where I’m supposed to go.</p><p id="73a5">Yes, at the end of my story I mention Trump’s presidency. That’s literally all I wrote were the words, “Trump’s presidency.”</p><p id="f7af">The story takes place in 1995, but I jump to 2020 at the end. I mention a list of powerful men who have used their power sexually toward women, like Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby.</p><p id="1d68">While I never shared my political stance, nor will I, there is no disputing the infamous line from the most powerful man on Earth:</p><blockquote id="54bc"><p>I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. When you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.</p></blockquote><p id="66fb">GTFOH.</p><p id="11b9">So back to my point. I opened the comment. My elation from the notification instantly shifted to shame and embarrassment.</p><p id="228b">Why did I have to mention the president? I’m so stupid. I think I should quit writing. I don’t want to offend anyone. <i>I feel bad</i>. Should I write back and apologize? Maybe I should edit that line out of the story? I really am a dumbass. <i>He was right.</i></p><p id="3d74">“Someone called me a dumbass today on Medium,” I told my husband.</p><p id="1e2d">“You are a dumbass,” he reminded me.</p><p id="3b60">“I can’t shake it. I was on such a high, on such a roll. Now I want to quit,” I admitted.</p><p id="b756">“Don’t you fucking dare,” he said. “What kind of man would read a story like the one you told and then call <i>you</i> a name? He is no different than the guys in your story.”</p><p id="9a93">He was right. Why was I letting one ignorant comment affect me so much? Why did his comment matter more to me than the dozens of beautiful words I received about my storytelling?</p><p id="4e80"><i>Why did I let him make me feel inferior?</i></p><p id="569c">I went back and reread all the comments filled with praise, support, and kindness.</p><p id="e31d">Right above the dumbass comment was a simple comment from <a href="undefined">Marc Dauphin</a>. It said, “YOU-WRITE-WELL.”</p><p id="c8bc">Thank you, Marc. And I enjoy writing too much to let some dumbass get me down.

Options

Now I’m going to GTFOH and go write.</p><p id="12a2"><i>Hey, I’m<b> Emme</b>. I used to write speeches and grants for a non-profit organization. Now I write whatever I want. Here’s some more of my work:</i></p><div id="7acd" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/my-husband-pays-me-for-sex-95dba27e0087"> <div> <div> <h2>My Husband Pays Me for Sex</h2> <div><h3>Yeah, that’s right. I’m his whore.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*1B_BI5AOpxoNXKRdDV86rQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="0c6c" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/have-i-failed-as-a-mother-b992a4b3c32"> <div> <div> <h2>Have I Failed as a Mother?</h2> <div><h3>But the greatest lessons come from our mistakes</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*GBCwkOTkuAN0gUJUtBDqzA.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="f87b" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/thank-you-quarantine-for-this-time-with-my-kids-6a4050ac109b"> <div> <div> <h2>Put Your Phones Down, Parents: We’ll Never Have This Chance Again</h2> <div><h3>Thank you, quarantine, for this time with my kids.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*i6EAsGp4jeEGYkJQNBbWYw.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="2ec5" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/14-tips-on-how-to-succeed-on-medium-a-beginners-guide-c34d807dcff"> <div> <div> <h2>14 Tips on How to Succeed on Medium: A Beginner’s Guide</h2> <div><h3>A comprehensive compilation of tips from the top.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*[email protected])"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

I Was Called a “Dumbass” on Medium

After I shared a personal story about a sexual assault

Like most new writers on Medium, I get an endorphin rush when I see the illuminated number beside my encircled face.

I’ve been writing on Medium for nine weeks. The experience has been incredible. This is truly such a supportive, kind group of people all passionate about self-expression through words.

The awesome owners of some of my favorite publications, like Xavier Van Holde, Laura Fox, and Gillian Sisley have accepted my words and shared them with readers I otherwise would not have reached.

Chris Hedges, you are the most supportive person in this community, taking your time to read, clap, and highlight so many writers’ work. Just seeing your name makes me feel safe and unjudged. You are doing Medium right, my friend.

Hell, I’ve even made a penpal. Hi Eli Pacheco. ;)

I finally felt safe enough to open up and write a vulnerable piece:

I Was a Slut — Can I Say #MeToo?

Or did I secretly want it?

medium.com

The response to this piece has been overwhelming. It even got curated in WOMEN. This community has made me feel validated and heard.

This story spoke deeply to other women who shared that they’ve had very similar experiences: WeeziSbaby, Elizabeth Ai, Jersey Femme Fatale, Matilda Swinney, and Clearly Me.

I did it! I did what all writers strive to do. I shared, I related to people, I told a story, I made people feel.

Even Eilidh Horder commented, “The blood is boiling in me.”

Hell, I even set it to a soundtrack.

But then. . . but then I got this comment:

Trump’s presidency? GTFOH dumbass.

Gulp.

Okay, first of all, I had to Google GTFOH. It means “Get the Fuck Out of Here.” Dumbass is self-explanatory. Get the fuck out of where? Out of Medium? I’m confused about where I’m supposed to go.

Yes, at the end of my story I mention Trump’s presidency. That’s literally all I wrote were the words, “Trump’s presidency.”

The story takes place in 1995, but I jump to 2020 at the end. I mention a list of powerful men who have used their power sexually toward women, like Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby.

While I never shared my political stance, nor will I, there is no disputing the infamous line from the most powerful man on Earth:

I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. When you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.

GTFOH.

So back to my point. I opened the comment. My elation from the notification instantly shifted to shame and embarrassment.

Why did I have to mention the president? I’m so stupid. I think I should quit writing. I don’t want to offend anyone. I feel bad. Should I write back and apologize? Maybe I should edit that line out of the story? I really am a dumbass. He was right.

“Someone called me a dumbass today on Medium,” I told my husband.

“You are a dumbass,” he reminded me.

“I can’t shake it. I was on such a high, on such a roll. Now I want to quit,” I admitted.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” he said. “What kind of man would read a story like the one you told and then call you a name? He is no different than the guys in your story.”

He was right. Why was I letting one ignorant comment affect me so much? Why did his comment matter more to me than the dozens of beautiful words I received about my storytelling?

Why did I let him make me feel inferior?

I went back and reread all the comments filled with praise, support, and kindness.

Right above the dumbass comment was a simple comment from Marc Dauphin. It said, “YOU-WRITE-WELL.”

Thank you, Marc. And I enjoy writing too much to let some dumbass get me down. Now I’m going to GTFOH and go write.

Hey, I’m Emme. I used to write speeches and grants for a non-profit organization. Now I write whatever I want. Here’s some more of my work: