I was breaking the law for years.
And I got away with it.
I have discovered that I and millions of my countrymen and women had been breaking the law for many years, a law that was passed in 1937.
In that year, a law was passed that it would be an offence not to report a sighting of a grey squirrel on your land.
This was in a vain attempt to halt the relentless march of the dreaded grey squirrel and save the more colourful red squirrel.
The punishment in those far off dark days was a fine of £5, the equivalent of around £300 today.
I have often spotted these pesky interlopers in my garden over the years. Little did I know I could have been over £300 lighter for not blowing the whistle on the tree rats?
It will come as no surprise to know there is no known record of the law being enforced.
It would obviously have been impossible to enforce.
Let me set a possible scene for you.
It is the year 1937, and a worthy citizen is mowing the lawn in his garden.
Now you have to remember, way back in those days, only well-off people could afford their own houses. So, this gent would be wearing a shirt with collar, tie and plus four trousers.
While this gent is mowing his lawn, a member of the local constabulary appears on the scene.
This worthy is wearing the tall helmet long ago discarded, but prevalent in the thirties.
He approaches our gent and leans over the fence.
Let us call him PC Plod.
PC Plod: Excuse me sir, can I have a word?
Gent: Certainly, officer, how can I help you?
Plod: I believe you failed to report the grey squirrel I saw in your garden some minutes ago.
Gent: Which squirrel is that pray?
Plod: The one I saw on your fence.
Gent: On the fence is not actually in my garden, is it, officer?
Plod: No sir, but I saw it.
Gent: Well, you should report it
Plod: Why should I report it, sir?
Gent: Because you are the one who saw it.
Plod: But I am going to report you, sir.
Gent: What for officer?
Plod: For not reporting a sighting of a grey squirrel.
Gent: But I did not see a grey squirrel, officer.
Plod: But I saw it, sir.
Gent: So, you should report it.
Plod: But I have to report you, sir.
Gent: What for officer?
Plod: For not reporting………….
This goes on for several hours, until it gets too dark for anyone to see any squirrel, grey, red or bright pink. 😆
The law was scrapped in 2014. 🙄
Thanks for reading.
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