Embrace Your Inner David

I Was A Closet Extrovert Until I Met David

An Open Letter To The Guy That Showed Me I Could Be Myself

Dear David,

Nobody who’s met me since early highschool believes I was once quiet and shy.

You might not believe it either. We haven’t spoken in years.

It’s true, though. Do you remember the geeky, introspective, quiet, and lanky high school freshman that went on that ski trip with you? Your parents and mine were friends.

Back then I saw myself as innovative, confident, full of life and fun. That image of who I should be was as clear as it was unattainable. I was miserable until I learned to be myself by, ironically, watching someone else be himself.

That’s when I met you, David. And also your sister, Lisa. You both taught me to be myself.

You were both older, assured, outgoing, and friendly. Especially you, David. You possessed more charisma than I’d ever seen in one person. For years you defined the term for me.

To anyone else reading this letter, if it helps, and you’re a Doctor Who fan, you can picture David as a younger David Tennant but with curlier hair and without the accent.

Hmm. I’m glad my wife never met David. You or the famous one. There’s being confident and there’s being cocky.

You were never cocky. Not that I could tell. We also shared a similar sense of humor. We looked at the world with the same eager anticipation and delight. Except, you always seemed to be more delighted than I was.

You had the confidence to share your delight. With everyone. It didn’t matter if you were older, younger, cooler, nerdier, or whatever. It didn’t matter that I was a geeky, introspective, quiet, and lanky high school freshman. You and Lisa accepted me.

Moreover, you accepted themselves.

This, to me, was the great lesson, David.

You didn’t seem to care what others thought. Although remaining friendly, you interacted with the world on your terms. Who cared what anyone else thought? You enjoyed life. You enjoyed others.

This resonated with me. It lit up my inner being, and I’m not just trying to use flowery language to make a point.

I watched you interact with people in the same way I envisioned myself doing. Except, I could never bring myself to do it. What would people think if they knew the real me?

You looked like the “Scott” I saw myself as. You looked like my inner version of me. The difference was you embraced yourself. It was eye-opening. It was instructive. I daresay, it was life-changing.

You were also basically a kid, too. I know I’m idealizing to a degree. Probably you had your own share of hang-ups, your own problems, your own insecurities. But if so, that just made it all the more powerful that you presented yourself to the world with confidence.

If someone with my humor and personality traits could do that and get away with it, why couldn’t I?

At the same time, I starting other pursuits. Some, like drama and music, could be seen as adding to my geekiness. But, I was also emulating myself.

I was following your example of being yourself by being myself.

I also took up wrestling which added a physicality that increased my confidence. This also helped stop the bullying that regularly took place.

Through all this, the strangest thing happened. It seems cliché, but remember that clichés start because they’re so universally true.

Once I stopped caring what others thought of me, once I decided I liked me for who I was, people gravitated toward me. This continued long past high school and on into my adult life

I’m still geeky. I often talk too fast, sometimes on subjects only I care about. I spill way too much coffee, often on myself. I can be very distracted.

And you know what, David? I love being me. I wouldn’t go so far as saying I’m extremely charismatic. But when others say it about me, I don’t argue the point.

I embraced myself. I embraced my inner David. I didn’t, to my recollection, embrace you. We weren’t that close. But maybe you deserved a hug for letting my inner self realize it was okay to become my outer self.

That made sense in my head.

It’s cliché to say be yourself, love yourself, and so on. You never told me to do that. But you showed me what it would look like if it did.

So thank you, David. Thank you, Lisa, as well. You were just as kind, nearly as full of charisma, and much hotter than your brother. I enjoyed your kindness and company as well.

Thank you both, and especially David. I learned it was okay to be me.

I learned to embrace my inner David.

From,

Me.

Scott Hughey may have taken the self-confidence to the opposite extreme. Sometimes he wonders if he needs to meet a Billy or a Ralph that displays the occasional self-doubt and embrace him, too.

In case you missed it above, here’s that wrestling story: