I Was a 17-Year Old Therapist

Life is hard. People are hurting.

The pain people feel often gets bottled up within them. At times, it unsuspectingly bursts forth at the most random moments.

During my time in high school, I bagged groceries and walked people to their cars. During the 5-minute journey from the check stand to the car, I had the opportunity to hear countless stories of joy, pain, annoyance, anger, you name it. All at 17 years old.

Humanity is a fickle thing. Someone can smile sweetly as items from their cart are being scanned, then in 3 seconds, their eyebrows contort and their tone goes sour as they find the price of canned beans rose $0.20.

“This price hasn’t changed for years!”

The checker calmly reassures, “Ma’am, I understand. Inflation is hitting us now, and we have seen the prices rise on certain items.”

“You guys can’t just DO that without telling people!” the customer scoffs.

“I’m sorry ma’am. I don’t have any control over the prices set here.”

“Well, you can tell your boss that they just lost a customer.”

Throughout this conversation, I’m smiling and grabbing the revered can of beans along with an assortment of cake mixes, meat, produce, and batteries.

Forcing a friendly tone, I ask the scripted question “Would you like paper, plastic, or do you have your own bags?”

“Plastic.”

Ok then, sassy. Pack the groceries and be quick about it.

Certain customers were a joy to walk out. As part of the job, the clerks had to INSIST that we walk the customer out. Take the cart, begin walking away with the customer as we tell them we can help them to their car. Be assertive.

Groceries organized, the cart filled, it’s my moment to shine. As the customer pays, I’m already behind the cart, ready to assert my kindness.

Start walking as she reaches for the cart. “I’ll help you out with these!”

A huff and a shrug is the only response. As we walk, I ask the questions I’ve asked over and over.

“So, how’s your day been going.”

“Awful,” she begins, “now you guys are even charging me extra for a can of ****ing beans.”

“Yeah, I’m really sorry about that.” Am I? Not really. Saying that seems to help diffuse a customer’s disapproval…

The automatic door jerks open, always sticking midway before releasing the customer outside. She points to a black Cadillac suburban.

“Mine,” She grunts and I hear a rustling from the side and see her earnestly searching within the behemoth she is wearing on her shoulder. A FOB emerges, and with a click, the suburban’s trunk pops open.

Picking up a couple of bags, I realize the trunk is filled with suitcases.

“Just throw things where you can. I’ve been packing all day. I’m separating from my husband.”

Oh. Wasn’t expecting that. Was that a warble I heard in her voice?

“I’m sorry to hear that!” I try looking over the suitcases at the woman as she climbs in the driver’s seat.

“Don’t be. He’s a jerk. Anyways, tell your boss that if they can’t keep consistent prices, I’m not coming back.” With that, the door slams, and the engine quietly purrs to life.

Groceries loaded, trunk closed, the trip back inside begins. I say a prayer for the lady as she pulls away.

Time for another session.

Working at a grocery store as a teen, I heard many complaints. Customers get angry more often than they are kind, and there is a LOT in life to complain about.

However, I discovered that there was some pretty heavy life baggage attached to this behavior. The price of beans alone shouldn’t send anyone over the edge emotionally. But pair that with months of court dates, arguments with a spouse, strained relations with kids, etc, and now the price of beans pushes that customer over the edge.

Often I would come home emotionally drained from listening to people share their problems. Some would go into great detail, others would only give the minimum detail they could. But what surprised me was how often people DID share.

I didn’t know these people from Adam, and yet they were willing to share some of their most difficult struggles with the 17-year old grocery bagger who was walking them out.

So what’s the lesson here?

This is 2-fold:

• #1 — Listen to those around you. You know your own problems, and you probably hide them well. Others are doing the same. Check-in with your family and friends, and ask how they are REALLY doing. If they aren’t ready to share, that’s ok. Send them encouragement or a gift that would show them you care.
• #2 — Slow down your judgment of others. When going out, it is so easy to call someone a jerk because they cut you off in traffic, took too long in the grocery line with coupons, or because they mouthed off to the sales associate. While you may see others displaying behavior that is more suited for a preschooler, realize that there may be more behind the behavior than you realize. There is a time to call someone out for inappropriate behavior but realize people carry baggage, and it manifests itself at strange times.

Learning about humanity is odd. On the surface, people are either nice or jerks. Looking deeper, people are hurting. Life is hard. And yet, life moves on.

The next time someone cusses you out on the road criticizes you in your job or frustrates you in the store, take a moment and say a prayer for them. Don’t let fire back the first insult that comes to mind. Realize that humanity is hurting. Humanity needs help. We all do. Say a prayer and ask the Lord to give that person some encouragement. Maybe you are that encouragement?