I Wanted To Walk My Daughter Down The Aisle But Couldn’t
I was another victim of the covid-19 pandemic
What father doesn’t want to walk his daughter down the aisle. As soon as they are born, that is one of the milestones you consider as you begin raising them into the most beautiful young ladies you’ve ever seen. Next to their mother, of course.
That’s what I thought of when my two daughters were born. I don’t know why that event was so important to me. Whenever discussions were had with my feminist friends, who said that they were going to have both their parents walk them down the aisle, or their Mom, I wouldn’t have it. That was a Dad’s duty to perform. Not Mom’s and not together.
It will be just me and my girls.
I had that opportunity with my oldest daughter. She was married in 2015. It was a wonderful day and a beautiful ceremony. She sang as we walked down the aisle in our church. It was one of my proudest moments. I think she led me down the aisle as my vision was blurred by my tears.
You can tell that I’m very old-fashioned. Even the moment when the pastor asks, “who gives this woman away…” I wanted to answer “I do!” My wife wanted us to say “we do” together or for me to say, “my wife and I do.” I didn’t like that but I capitulated.
But the walk down the aisle was mine and mine alone. I wasn’t having it any other way.
My second daughter and her husband planned to be wed on Aug 20, 2020. Unfortunately, we were in the middle of the pandemic, with flight restrictions and venue closures. So they decided to postpone it until May 22, 2021. Surely we would be done with the pandemic by then.
Not in Canada. We were in the middle of the 3rd wave. In the province of New Brunswick, where the wedding was to be, they had closed the province to non-residents. Coming from Ontario, we had to apply for permission to enter. We found out that they were allowing entry for those coming for funerals but not for weddings which made little sense. The dead don’t know who’s present.
We were denied entry.
We appealed to no avail.
I only had one other day in my life when I was really sad. I mean sorrowful or inconsolable. That day was when my grandmother died. It was in 1998 when I got the call from my sister in South Africa letting me know that Granny was gone. She had raised me and my two sisters from a very young age before my parents eventually could take over. That’s another story I may tell someday.
My wife did her best to comfort me but I was a mess. It took me a while to get over her passing.
Not being able to be present at my daughter's wedding produced the same emotions, especially as the day approached. We were denied entry into New Brunswick 2 weeks prior to the wedding date and the fact that we would not be there got more real as the day drew near.
We had planned the walk down the aisle, the daddy-daughter dance, the MC jokes, and the Dad speech. None of those would be taking place as planned.
My daughter and her fiancee decided that they would do the ceremony, then have some finger foods for those in attendance which were his family and some friends. They were only allowed 10 people as indoor gatherings were limited. There would be no dancing and no speeches. Those would be reserved for another day when everything opened up again.
My daughter was raised in Ontario. She went to school in Prince Edward Island and found a good job out there after graduating. Through networking, she landed another good job in New Brunswick and moved there where she met her fiancee. All the while, she made some good friends out there and fell in love with Atlantic Canada. That’s why she wanted to be married out there and not in Ontario.
Pre-covid, that was no problem. Every invited guest from Ontario was planning vacations around her wedding date in August 2019. They would come for the wedding either a week before or stay a week later and enjoy eastern Canada. Everyone was excited.
But it was not to be. We all watched on Zoom. It was her day so we did our best to make it a pleasant day for them. My wife and I were jealous that his side of the family was able to be there but we weren’t. It wasn’t fair.
My daughter knew how much walking her down the aisle meant to her. She wore the ring that I gave her on her 16th birthday to represent me doing just that.
She walked down the aisle by herself. No one could take my place. She looked stunning. I cried like a baby.
It was an emotional day.
Well, now she’s married. We look forward to the day when we can celebrate together, face-to-face. Maybe we’ll act out the walk-down-the-aisle. We’ll definitely have the daddy-daughter dance.
We have to have something where it’s just me and my girl.
A father’s other musings:
