I Wanted To Bed My MIL Before I Met My Wife

A strange tale, for sure

And no, not my current wife’s mother.

It was the summer of ’82, I think. Lust was in the air. What can I say?

I was a hot shot, a legend in my mind, a commercial pilot in Alaska, in the prime of my life, with swagger enough for a couple of guys.

If you got it, flaunt it. Autograph, anyone?

Months previous, I was in the Alaskan Bush displaying all manners of bravado. Did my shit stink? No way. I was the real deal. Just ask me.

Humility, RC, tone it down. Ok.

Anyway, my aviation stint in Anchorage involved flying the right seat as co-pilot on numerous twin-engine commuter flights in and around the area.

The left seat Captain slot was calling my name. All I had to do was put in more hours as second in command (SIC), and I would be wearing the four-stripe epaulets in no time.

In the meantime, being the good SIC I was, I loaded luggage, pre-flighted the airplane, filed the flight plans, and made sure Capitan was aware of my existence. Yes, sir, right away sir!

Between flights one day, hanging out at the ticket counter, I was approached by a passenger. After looking at my name tag, she asked if I used to fly out of Sleetmute when I flew in the bush.

“Yes, I did, I answered.”

She then proceeded to share with me that my actions flying a sick baby from one village to another during the time she was a nurse, saved the little girl’s life.

Wow! Cue additional humility.

I remembered the flight but had lost touch with the patient’s mother and nurse so the fortunate outcome was never related to me at the time.

Talk about a memory? Those kinds of things tend to stay with you.

Oh, the MIL thing. Yeah.

One day, again between flights, I walked over to another area of the airport terminal where a local bank had a branch facility. Upon stepping into the lobby, in my full sharply creased pilot attire, an attractive older lady caught my eye. I’ve always been a sucker for those by evidence of my second and third wives being older than me.

Not much but regardless, it’s my story.

The beautiful, seasoned vision in question stepped from behind the counter stuck out her hand, and said “How may I help you, sir?” I was immediately smitten. I was thinking of other things but I can’t share those with you or I’d have to kill you. Haha!

Her name was Jane, and needless to say, she made an impression. I finished my banking business and left thinking about what angle I would use next time there to further make her acquaintance.

I never did make it back to the bank to visit with her but that’s ok. Little did I know we would run into each other again under far different conditions. This is where the story takes an avenue I would have never predicted.

Months later, I was catting around one night and ended up at a honky tonk in Anchorage. A place called the Midnight Express.

My nightlife as a stud pilot had me showing the ladies a good time on the dance floor. Yes, dear readers, this guy could cut a rug with the best of them. The Cotton-Eyed Joe, Two-step, Waltz, Line Dance, White Man’s Overbite, you name it, I aimed to please.

And to complete the picture, my after-hours attire matched the scene. A white cowboy hat, tight jeans, western belt, and buckle with my initials carved into the leather, snakeskin boots, and a strut that had the ladies swooning. Too much?

Hey, a guy can dream, right?

My brother also lived in Anchorage at the time and as soon as he saw me walk in, called me over. “Hey, bro, I’ve got somebody I want you to meet.”

Bill introduced me to Ellen.

It’s a good thing I wasn’t three or four sheets to wind yet (yeah, I could tie one on occasionally) or I would have tripped over my tongue. This lady was a bonafide knock-out.

Because she was already friends with my brother, and he had previously shared with her that I might show up that night, the stage was set for a meet and greet.

To say that we got on marvelously and tripped the lights fandango would be an understatement. It was lust at first sight and it turned out to be a lovely evening.

I walked her out to her truck after closing time and we promised to meet again soon. I didn’t know how she felt at the time but I was sold.

A most surprising turn of events would soon unfold.

My future wife was living with her mother at the time. She had separated from her husband because of abuse.

We had talked by phone and she invited me over to Mom’s house. When I arrived, she asked me in and excused herself to fetch her mother. When Jane appeared from upstairs, and I caught sight of her, we both started laughing. Before I could say anything, she said, “I know this guy, he tried to pick me up one time.”

Ellen was floored. “What, she said.” I was beyond embarrassed but once Jane soothed over her daughter’s ruffled feathers, all of us had a good chuckle over the future son-in-law’s failed attempt to date his unknown, future MIL.

By the way, Jane was an excellent MIL. The best I never had. 🤪

And that is the story, friends. Funny how life works sometimes. Right?

My appreciation for all of you is never-ending.

Note: Outside of mine, actual names were not used for reasons of privacy.

NO AI was used to create this masterpiece. Take your beef elsewhere.