I Want to Have the Troompaloompa’s Thinking Powers

Summary

The article humorously contemplates the fantastical power of the "Troompaloompa's" thinking, which satirically exaggerates the influence of a political figure akin to the Oompa Loompas from Roald Dahl's "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory."

Abstract

The satirical piece titled "Satire | Politics" expresses a whimsical desire to possess the "Troompaloompa's Thinking Powers," a metaphorical ability to alter reality through mere thought. The author playfully dismisses self-help manifestation, genie wishes, and magical nose twitches, instead focusing on the imagined potency of the Troompaloompa's cognitive abilities. These powers are described as capable of manipulating public opinion, inciting significant actions like treason and violence, and even changing official classifications with just a thought. The article humorously lists potential uses for such powers, including personal conveniences like evading taxes, erasing speeding fines, and effortlessly paying bills, as well as more substantial acts like altering legal agreements and granting oneself loans. The author also suggests a collective thought experiment to banish the Troompaloompa figure, invoking a playful "MAR-A-LAGO" incantation. The piece concludes with a tongue-in-cheek plea for readers to support Medium writers by subscribing, emphasizing the value of the platform's diverse content.

Opinions

The author views the Troompaloompa's influence as both absurdly powerful and dangerously impactful on society.
There is a clear satirical tone regarding the ease with which the Troompaloompa can supposedly manipulate reality, including legal and ethical norms.
The piece reflects a cynical view of certain political powers and their perceived ability to bypass conventional rules and consequences.
The author uses humor to critique the idea that one could avoid life's complexities and responsibilities through sheer will or thought, as suggested by self-help and manifestation culture.
By comparing the political figure to a fictional character known for whimsical yet ethical guidance, the author may be implying a lack of seriousness or moral grounding in contemporary politics.
The call to action for Medium membership is presented with levity, suggesting that engaging with the platform's content is both entertaining and supportive of creative endeavors.

I think, therefore I can.

How great would it be to make things happen with just thinking-power?

I don’t mean the Tony Robbins or ‘manifesting’ malarkey. I’m not talking about rubbing the brass lamp Genie wishing-power. Nor the Samantha type nose-twitch.

Troompaloompa Thinking-Power (TTP) is apparently the most potent. It can sway idiots to believe anything. It can create treason and violence with a single phrase. And de-classify documents by just thinking it so.

Things I will use my TTP for:

‘Doing’ my taxes — Yeah. Sure.

‘Undoing’ speeding fines — Who wouldn’t?

Paying bills — without paying bills.

Approving insurance claims — I deserve this one. I haven’t had a working kitchen since the February deluge.

How wonderful this thought-power would be. We could dodge so much legal and bureaucratic bs. We could:

Change the terms of a divorce agreement.

Instantly approve the purchase contract of a new house.

Give ourselves a home loan.

Change the numbers on a lottery ticket.

JUST. BY. THINKING. IT.

There’s one more thing we could do. Send the Troompaloompa back to whatever realm he came from.

When I say “MAR-A-LAGO!” everyone click your heels three times and think very hard.

“MAR — A —

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