I Want To Fast, But I Have FOMO

Conflicts between diet and socializing

Have you ever tried a new diet and went out with your friends to find yourself in a conflict between sticking to your diet or ordering with your friends to enjoy the evening and avoid being a wet blanket? Or rather, let me ask you, how many times did you break your diet to fit in? For me, answer was always obvious — join in the fun — I can always start my diet the next day, right?!

When I started my intermittent fasting, I was mortified to be invited out. I was imagining people enjoying a kaleidoscope of food and drink, whilst I sit, my mouth a thin line of famished desert, fear and hunger rumbling in my stomach, a concerto reaching a high pitch every time there is a pause in the conversation or laughter.

The awkwardness of my hypothetical social setting is increasing paranoia mixed with hunger. I imagine my friend saying, nothing will happen this time — just eat something.

The dread of having to admit that I’m different because I have different needs is too overwhelming. So what do I do? I fold like a wet napkin and have a glass of wine, a bite of pizza.

I’m fat with carbs and happiness but also angry that I can’t stick to one lousy habit. What does it make me? I don’t know — at least not a killjoy.

As I’m aging I realize that my health is not a compromise I’m willing to make. I realize my body is this frail thing that needs care and attention.

Why did I even start intermittent fasting? An article from The Harvard Gazette I’ve read a while ago that talked about a study on a genetically mutated worm, persuaded me. A roundwarm C. elegans, to be specific, that lives only about two weeks, which makes it a perfect study subject for real time research on ageing. The researchers found that mimicking an intermittent diet in the worms through genetic manipulation of insulin signaling pathways resulted in a revolutionary discovery — the lifespan of the roundwarm was increased by 500%.

After carefully processing this information, I’ve decided to try an intermittent diet. After all, we’re not so different from worms. We’re both living, breathing organic mass that needs food and oxygen to survive.

I researched the topic further and came upon the information that Ramadan fasting has positive effects on health, although studies are inconclusive, people from the muslim world suggest that they feel better during the month of Ramadan.

During the entire month of Ramadan, muslims must fast from sunrise to sunset and abstain from food, alcohol, smoking, and sex. It’s a sort of cleansing ritual that teaches restraint and obedience to the teachings of Quran.

But fasting is not only a muslim religious practice. Many other religions and followings require fasting, Buddhism, Christianity, Judaism, Jainism, and Taoism. And all of these religions have one thing in common — self-control.

People who practice religious fasting often feel fulfilled, cleansed body and soul, and they feel a wave of strength and self-control they never felt before.

So, why don’t we all do it?

There is scientific proof that it can prolong our lives, enhance the quality of our health, and potentially improve our overall happiness.

But…

I don’t get to eat.

I love food. I am a foodie, a gourmand, a cook, a baker, and a cheese connoisseur.

Food is glorious, fattening, indulgent, gratifying, and satisfying.

And it connects people.

Imagine a party that has no snacks or drinks. Where people awkwardly walk around the room, stumbling into each other and making painful small talk.

Weird, right?

Is that the world you want to live in?

Is that the world I’ll have to live in when I’m fasting?

I wake up in the middle of the night in sweat, dreaming about this world. I shuffle downstairs to get a drink and maybe a slice of cheese. I deserve it, I say to myself. I’ve been good controlling all of my cravings and abstaining from snacking.

I stand at the fridge for about 5 minutes, wrestling with myself not grab the tray of cheese. I shuffle back upstair. My stomach grumbling, empty and angry that I didn’t give in.

I spent a miserable month like this. Eating every other day. Going out only on the days I could eat and staying home on the days I couldn’t. So I could be miserable in solitude.

After certain point, I’m not sure when it was, I felt lightness in my body. I slept better and woke up feeling refreshed. I felt strong and accomplished like after a good workout. I don’t know what it was — self-conviction, delusion or clarity of mind from self-discipline and control I gained from the experience.

I realized that it wasn’t all bad. It has it’s own benefits.

But I still have FOMO… I still love food and going out so I won’t be doing it consecutively, on a regular basis, but I will try to fast a few times a year. Have a cleansing month!

It worked for me, it may not for you.

To each its own.

If you try I can promise you that you might be miserable, and grumpy, and hangry, and not fun to be around. Your friends might stop inviting you out.

But look on the bright side — when you don’t have friends you don’t need to worry about missing out))).

It’s hard to keep a healthy lifestyle as it is. You don’t need the stress of having to choose being healthy and happy vs. keeping a healthy social life. Make a conscious decision that will work for you and for your health and social life.