I Want to Be Old, Why Doesn’t Anyone Believe Me?

Old age has more benefits than you can imagine.

I come from a family where getting old is a capital sin.

Sure, it’s a dysfunctional family where a lot of narcissistic whims usually collide into communication disaster, but still… You wouldn’t imagine something as natural as getting old would get so much backlash.

Whatever you do, if you come over, never talk to my 74-year-old mother about old age. Or young age. She will try and goad you towards it, but stay strong. Whatever you say, I can guarantee it will result in mayhem!

Probably as a rebellious act against my family of origin, my heart and brain are telling me not only that I don’t care about my age, but that I fully embrace middle age with all its faults.

If age is just a number, I want it to be a big one.

People who are younger than me will say I’m ancient. And those who are older will say I’m too young for this conversation! No matter how old I am, I never seem to be young enough or old enough to have a valid opinion on anything.

For the record, I’m 42. The profile photo is of myself on a good day, under good light. And whatever you want to say to that, I’m getting old(er) and I like it this way.

I know to most people getting old means nothing but loss. You lose your youthful appearance, your sexual attractiveness, your value in the workforce and employability, your stamina, energy, and general joy for life.

Or at least you’re supposed to.

Well, I call BS on that. Not because you don’t lose them! But because you get so much more in return: instead of youthful appearance, style, and grace. Instead of sexual attractiveness, the relief that you’re finally free to walk the streets without being ogled. Instead of workforce and employability, relaxing and enjoying life.

Plus, the stamina, energy, and joy for life are easily fixable with exercise, eating right, and a healthy mental state.

It’s true, youth does have intrinsic value and our crooked society glorifies the young and hides the old in a silent dark corner where all the dusty things live.

You are not a dusty thing, though, are you? You’re a living, breathing person with an opinion, a heart, and legs that can take you out of that corner and into the light.

So get out of society’s limitations and find your own path.

I’m more energetic and alive now than I’ve ever been at 20 when I was riddled with heartbreak, emotional instability, insecurities, and doubt.

Long live the age of indifference!

However, the one thing that makes me most happy about getting old is the decrease in unwanted sexual attention. Which, in my case, is all sexual attention. Unfortunately, I’m not even close to being there yet, but I am hopeful.

Yesterday, I made the mistake of going for a walk in a pair of light grey yoga pants… I didn’t realize it was a problem since I also have a black pair of the same model and they didn’t have people howling and fainting at the sight of them.

There I was, minding my own business, taking one of my long walks along the green streets of my beautiful city, when somebody decided to let me have a bucketful of his intense sexual attention. I had my headphones on, listening to 80s music and feeling so happy and alive that I was doing some little dance moves where nobody could see me.

And then, there he was. He looked me up and down with hungry eyes and just as he started to cross the street to get to me, I stopped.

I knew what he was coming over for. And I wanted none of it. I just turned on my heels and shamelessly walked away before he had a chance to get to me.

For a moment, I thought about ditching the grey yoga pants. But I like them. I like how they feel on my body, I like how they look on my body, and I paid money for them.

I’m not going to let anyone intimidate me. I just won’t give them the time of day. And stop any unwanted attention in its tracks.

I’m looking forward to the day when my hair is completely white. I want to wear it long and wild, like a banshee on Ireland’s mossy fields. I want to listen to my music, take long walks in my yoga pants, live my life, take my time, and enjoy the wisdom that comes with it.

I know for the time being it’s too much to ask. But I’m getting there. And I plan to embrace every step of the way with wisdom, clarity, and grace. And walking away from unwanted situations.

I love getting old because while my whole life might have been about others, old age is about myself.

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