LIGHT HUMOR/CHRISTIAN

I Want to Be Amish for a Week

I think it will be a retreat for my weary soul

Although there is a small community of Amish less than an hour away from me here in Kansas, I really don’t know much about them. I know some of their communities have their roots in the Mennonite church and that they live as simply as possible. They shun cars for horse-drawn buggies, along with most of today’s technology. I understand there may be a phone close by they can use in case of emergencies, but they certainly don’t have cell phones. Can you imagine?

I find their way of life charming, especially when I contrast it to the world I’m living in with all its trappings, many frustrations, and modern marvels.

Although I envy their simple life, I was brought up as a Christian I was taught to believe their way of life is the wrong way to live.

I was taught they are a cult because their confined way of living is not how Christians are supposed to live. Instead, we are to be the salt and light of the world and not separate ourselves off from this dirty nasty world. We’re supposed to live in society and bring others to faith in Christ, even though most of the world is constantly shouting us down and doing everything they can to shut us up.

So maybe the Amish are right after all. Maybe it’s time Christians start living apart and leave the world to the non-believers.

When I mentioned this idea to some friends at church they lit up like Christmas trees at the very idea and immediately said they’d sign up! Of course, they laughed too because the idea is ludicrous. But I mentioned it as we’re all tired of being told to shut up and confine our ‘Jesus talk’ to each other and stay out of other people’s lives. — Out of schools, government, business, workplaces, sports, public places, and entertainment; so how’s this working?

I’ll tell you how it’s working — Our world is an unholy, ungodly, violent mess.

When the world said NO to what they saw as rigid black and white, and right and wrong thinking, we began to live in the gray areas. Hmm, that meant black and white (good and evil) combined and that’s when absolute truth DIED because it originally came from God’s word the Bible and most people don’t ever read it…Hey, most people don’t even have a Bible!

So we’ve become people who in essence are left to loudly shout, “it’s my way or the highway!” And so we argue and fight. We disagree and we rarely agree to disagree. We form our own opinions on everything and we will fight to the death to uphold them, and we come to hate anyone who disagrees with us.

There’s no consensus anymore so it’s become impossible to solve problems and that’s where we’re stuck.

So yeah, I envy the simplicity of the Amish. They live by the Bible, not by our ever-changing laws, rules, and our flaky opinions that change with the tide. Compared to the rest of us they live in that black and white, right or wrong — per the Bible — world. They avoid our culture of; Black lives Matter, political correctness, political divides, wars, protests, our economic woes, homelessness, street people, Woke, gangs, abortions, joblessness, inflation, sexual immorality, greed, PTSD, and materialism.

They live as self-contained and self-sustaining as possible and I envy and admire that about them. And let’s not forget they allow their children to experience the world by a rite called Rumspringa that begins somewhere between the ages of 14–21. This means they leave for two years before they must decide to either return and get baptized into the Amish church or leave the community. So no one is confined in their communities like a prisoner. I think that’s very liberal of them — Haven’t we learned there are no true cults that allow this?

So sign me up! I’m going to go and pay the Amish a visit and ask if I can live with them for a week. I’ll count it as research for a future Christian cult.

I figure it will be a week of Bible studies and in between, I’ll learn to cook and get to eat the best home-cooked meals ever. I’ll feed the chickens, and read Bible stories to their babies. I’ll wear no make-up, and I’ll wash dishes. I’ll wear a white doily on my head, and don plain clothing and wear black grandma shoes. I’ll do laundry and hang it out on the line to dry. I’ll read instead of watching tv and I’ll leave my wine at home, and I’ll go to bed early. In short, I’ll tune out of the world for a week, but I’ll take my cell phone for emergencies only — Hey, being prepared is the Girl Scout’s motto and I’ll pray there’s a cell tower somewhere close by. So how about you? Do you want to come with?

Thanks for reading and thoughtful writing everyone.