I Used To Be . . .

Is the person I used to be still somewhere deep inside? Do I even care to seek her out?

I used to be . . .

I used to be a lot of things . . . I used to be different . . . I used to be much younger . . . I used to be stronger, more energetic . . . I used to belong somewhere in the midst of corporate America . . . I used to be a dreamer of dreams far different than those I dream today . . . I used to see an almost infinite future . . . I used to hold myself more accountable for my thoughts and actions . . . I used to be the person who rose before the sun, ready to take on the challenges of a brand new world . . . I used to be more optimistic . . .

I don’t know why or how, I just know I used to be a lot of things and I don’t really think all (any?)of them are applicable anymore.

So . . . What do I do with that startling revelation?

For those of us who are lucky enough, childhood and the teenage years are idealistic and full of (possibly) unrealistic expectations.

I say “lucky enough” because I think it’s beneficial to think and dream beyond one’s current status in life. That’s probably the only way huge, previously impossible goals are accomplished — by people too dumb/smart to realize their ideas have little basis in reality or possibility. They just plow ahead with great determination. If they hit a brick wall, they shift left or right and keep right on going.

Each of us is a day older today than we were yesterday. (Startling revelation! I know, right.) That progression of time is not likely to change until it ends with a hard stop at the end of our lives.

I used to . . . Be stronger and more energetic. Well, time, life and gravity take a toll on us all. I have started to realize I am no exception to that fact of nature.

My days in corporate America have been successfully completed. I can look back with some level of satisfaction in a job done well enough. I used to . . . love the pursuit of that stage of my life. Now? Eh!

That infinite future I used to . . . Look forward to and anticipate, now looks like it has an expiration date. I’m much closer to the end than I am to the beginning of my life — no matter how optimistically I might look at things.

I used to . . . Dream different dreams than those I dream today. On that front, I can honestly say I have made my peace. I still have some dreams (albeit different) but they are still good and worthy of my attention. They still provide enough of a reason to get up in the morning.

Oh, the time in my life where I used to . . . Rise before the sun and take on the challenges of a brand new world. Well, I rise when I’m good and ready, earlier than many but not nearly as early as might be beneficial for achieving all the goals I have loosely set for myself. How do I feel about that? Eh!

I used to . . . Hold myself more accountable for my thoughts and actions. Today, I think things I never thought I would think. I have done things I never thought I would do. As for accountability — Eh!

If it’s not immoral or illegal, I’m good.

The person I used to be has morphed into the person I have become. Would I change a few things if I could?

Maybe.

But, probably not. Any changes I might make to the person I was would change the person I have, at long last, become.

For better or for worse, I have made my peace with that evolution.

If you enjoyed this article, perhaps you would like to check out a few of my other thoughts on living and growing in a rich, full, vital life.