The Authentic Eclectic

I Used My Interview Like Therapy

I shared a little too much with my interviewer when applying to Apple

This was the first interview I screwed up at Apple. I laugh about it now — what else can I do? There isn’t much to the story but let me tell it anyway…

In the late 2000s, I was in a retail job that I knew sucked within two weeks of starting. But this was the first work I’d had after 18 months of unemployment; I couldn’t quit. I stayed put and worked 40 hours a week to replenish my bank account.

I’m not sure when I decided to apply to the nearest Apple store. It was probably after I had told one of my colleagues how much I loved my Apple laptop. He was convinced enough to quit and join the nearest Apple store.

I’ll not dwell on the first stage of the interview process. It was a group affair involving (ugh!) role play and customer service Q&As. I kept my mouth shut when it wasn’t required and played along. Those who didn’t match up were weeded out; the rest were invited back for a one-to-one.

The office wasn’t as shiny and inviting as the shop floor. It might have served as a storage closet in a bigger building. Everything was close quarters; less intimate and more uncomfortable.

The exact details of the interview remain hazy; standard retail questions. But the fatal but entirely expected question must have been “Why do you want to leave your current job/Why do you want to join Apple?”.

It’s an easy question, right? It’s so routine that any applicant has the answer memorised beforehand. Yet something made me drop the act and take it at face value. The truth came out. All of it.

I can’t remember exactly what I said, but it must have been everything I had experienced at work up to that point: the hard sell using dubious methods, the deceived customers, and the poor treatment of its staff. It’s a tale in itself and better left for another time. Shame I wasn’t so coy back then.

The interviewer was enrapt. He was eating out of my hands and wanted more! If it were possible to see thought bubbles there would’ve been a large floating one atop his head:

“This is fascinating! It’s almost unbelievable! This guy is a natural storyteller!”

Pity that I never thought to imagine the one hidden behind his back:

“What a dumb bastard! I can’t hire this fool! Good story though!”

I never keep my rejection letters but I don’t think Apple even sends one out.

To this day I can’t explain why I answered the way I did. I do know it was the least nervous I’d ever been in an interview. My words were free-flowing, a release. For that short time, I was able to speak rather than being forced to listen. It was wonderful.

A few more of my Work Tales…