I Use Sexual Energy In My Work

Just not in the way that you might imagine or expect

I’ve written a lot about the sexual awakening that took place for me about 6 years ago. It’s the time when my husband James and I went through a very exploratory phase, first together and then eventually with others. It took us from inviting other partners into our bed, to polyamory, pansexuality, and even a bit of kink.

As my sexual self blossomed and healed from decades of harm brought on by cultural messaging and societal norms for women, I began to feel this awakening not just as a new set of circumstances, but also as a different energy in my life. I didn’t necessarily register it as such at the time, but I was going through a kundalini awakening. The concentration of generative feminine life force in me was opened up to larger possibilities and looking to spread itself around.

Shakti, as this primal life force is sometimes known, is at it’s core, sexual energy. It not only drives desire and the coming together of physical bodies, but is also the energy present in the creation of anything — babies, art, ideas, healing. Although it is considered a divine feminine energy, often personified by a goddess, shakti is also available to men. It is somewhat akin to the Taoist principle of chi — the energy of fundamental creative dynamism.

Even as shakti impelled me to more fully embrace my authentic sexual nature, and to make changes in many of the circumstances of my life, it also began asking to be included in my work as a life coach and shamanic healer. I felt very strongly called to bring that to the table while at the same time, I was also clear that I had no interest in having actual sexual contact with my clients. Besides the fact that I work with most of my clients (who are spread around the country) by phone, I also really didn’t feel called to touch them in overtly sexual ways even if they were right there under my hands. How to resolve this dilemma?

I can remember talking it over with my mentor, feeling both frustrated and confused about how to make sense of these seemingly conflicting urges. But the answer was actually rather simple, once I shifted my perceptions a bit. Shakti may be sexual energy, but it relates to way more than just actual sex. I can cultivate and channel shakti energy without nudity or touching someone in an overtly sexual manner. Just because it was so clearly manifesting that way in my life in other non-work areas didn’t mean that it always had to do so.

It took some time to work out the details of implementation, but intention is a powerful force, and eventually I got to a place where it became second nature to invoke shakti in client sessions without them having any idea that’s what I was doing — something that never fails to bring more oomph to a session. If possible, I try to have an orgasm before working with a client, but that isn’t always doable, for a variety of reasons. So instead, I simply tap into that same sense of both intensity and connection, the hyper-awareness of sensation where the cognitive brain is tuned way down to a distant hum and something larger, more Universal, and more primal is present.

The best way to get out of your head is to get more fully into your body, and although there are times when I need my cognitive processes with clients, I rely strongly on the bedrock of my training combined with an intuitive sense of how to employ that in the moment to be of best service to each individual. By being both grounded and also largely out of my everyday head-space the flow of shakti can then help me connect the client with their own inner wisdom more easily — and that’s where their healing emanates from.

The other day I enjoyed reading a story written by Edward Riley about his growing interest in becoming a sexual healer. I resonated with so much that he said, particularly the definition of sacred sexuality that he cited, which prioritizes circulating sexual energy over orgasm or even genital contact.

Although Edward is contemplating healing modalities that may involve sexual touch, such as tantra, his over all philosophy is what I most resonated with because it is so close to my own. Even though I do not use sexual touch in my work, I do use sexual energy just the same, to similar effect. Here’s a quote from Edward’s story that really stood out for me:

I’ve found that my passion involves showing the person I’m interacting with, through words and actions, that they are inherently powerful, worthy, and capable.

Yes!

“The word shakti literally means power. Shakti the innate power in reality, has five faces. It manifests as the power to be conscious, the power to feel ecstasy, the power of will, or desire, the power to know, and the power to act.”

It’s not just the feeling that arises when you’re “knocking boots” but the energy that is cultivated when that experience approaches transcendence and almost leaves the body behind while at the same time making you keenly aware of every sensation.

For early humans, this confluence was recognized as having generative and even healing power. Sacred intimates offered a primal connection with the Divine Ancestress via her surrogates — one which helped to reconnect the supplicant with his true self.

The sacred sexual customs of the female religion offer us another of the apparent ties between the worship of the Divine Ancestress as it was known in Sumer, Babylon, Anatolia, Greece, Carthage, Sicily, Cypress, and even in Canaan. Women who made love in the temples were known in their own language as “sacred women,” “the undefiled.” Their Akkadian name of qadishtu is literally translated as “sanctified women” or “holy women.”

When God Was A Woman, Merlin Stone, page 154

Far from the dismissive term, temple prostitute, that was later given to these women by the first archeologists to learn of them, qadishtu and their sisters were the representatives of the Goddess on earth and considered some of the most high-status people in the society. Women of wealthy and royal families participated in this practice, as well as other women of the community.

They used sacred sexual energy to bring their clients back into equilibrium, something that was seen as both natural and extremely powerful. I feel honored to be a part of that legacy, even though I go about it in a very different way. Awakening to the shakti that was available to me both revolutionized my private life as well as my healing practice.

When I work with clients and experience that flow of the Universe, that is when I feel most like my true self. And when I am spending time in sexual situations with those I love or really like, that same sense of Universal flow is often there too. Shakti is consciousness, ecstasy, will, the power to know and the power to act. It’s not just S-E-X, it’s all the best elements of sexual energy and all of the creative, generative, dynamic aspects of that elemental force. Who wouldn’t want that on their side? I know I do!

© Copyright Elle Beau 2021 Elle Beau writes on Medium about sex, life, relationships, society, anthropology, spirituality, and love. If this story is appearing anywhere other than Medium.com, it appears without my consent and has been stolen.