Someone Had to Turn the Tables on This Narcissist — So I Did It

This is what it looks like when the prey becomes the predator.

Last summer I met a narcissist named Daniel who had recently moved into my building during the pandemic. Daniel saws me in the lobby one day and as he left he doubled back and said,

“18–30?”

I don’t know how I knew what he meant but did, I told him I was 27 years old. He told me he was 35, and that he’d also been seeing me around (watching me) and had been waiting for the chance to talk to me.

As I stated in my previous article:

There is no such thing as meeting a narcissist for the first time. They’ve been watching you and planning your encounter, you’re just unaware of it.

This was April 2021.

It wouldn’t be until late June/early July that we would cross paths again and when we did it didn’t take long before I visited his apartment. Things were cool and I was learning different things about him.

This is when I found out he had a nineteen-year-old daughter and had also recently gotten out of prison for an aggravated assault and battery charge that still doesn’t make any sense to me, no doubt because he was surely lying about the circumstances.

Either way, the convo continued and I was watching him closely, listening intently. As we were talking he cut his finger accidentally, I don’t remember how it happened because I was rolling a joint but it wasn’t a huge deal.

Still, he was bleeding so I asked him where his band-aids were and went to the bathroom to go grab one, along with some peroxide and napkins. When I came back into the room I started cleaning the wound and placed the band-aid on it.

I didn’t have to do that nor did he ask, that’s just who I am and I’m glad it is because where many of you might say I did too much, I did exactly what I was supposed to do because what happened next was what unmasked Daniel.

All It Took Was An Act of Kindness

This is when I realized I was supposed to be his next target

When I looked up at him he was giving me this weird look, and I didn’t like it at all. It was like he had this hidden smirk on his face with no emotion in his eyes.

There was also this anger I could not pinpoint or understand. Truth be told he almost looked disgusted by my act of kindness. He looked like a wolf watching unsuspecting prey, before finally saying to me —

That was nice of you. You’re so nice.

My blood ran cold but again I didn’t say anything.

I observed him and the fact that he said it with no emotion, yet again like he was mocking me. He also had that same signature deadpan stare.

He maintained it as he then followed my every move with his eyes only, never breaking that predatory glare. He was too busy thinking I was easy prey to notice me noticing him unmask himself.

This was an overt narcissist.

Overt narcissists often tend to overestimate how good they are at what they do and underestimate most of their potential victims, often causing them to make rookie mistakes.

Daniel would be no different.

I Love It When a Narcissist Unmasks Himself

Within minutes his attitude changed and the mask fell off

Daniel was increasingly rude, making little digs disguised as jokes. I knew what this was, a not-so-subtle devaluation,

I talked more about devaluation in this article:

Even with the red flags blaring I still didn’t leave, because something told me to stay and observed — and I’m glad I did because

His phone had been going off the whole time I was there and I watched him finally get on his phone and start texting someone back. He was smiling at his phone and completely ignoring me.

Furthering the devaluation.

Suddenly he had somewhere to go and arranged a date with me the following morning. I didn’t expect him to show up, and he never did.

But he rang my bell and waited for me to come down to the lobby (I was checking the mail anyway) to “see how I was doing” with a smirk on his face. He was ballsy.

His whole reason for stopping by literally hours after he stood me up was to see if I was upset, and truthfully I actually was just because there was no reason for the cruelty or the intention of wasting my time.

This was to further devalue me and breadcrumb me, hoping to ignite a codependent response that would start to get me hooked on him.

The problem with his method was that I was better at pretending to be prey than he was at actually being a narcissist.

This didn’t urge me to chase him at all, in fact, now I was turned off and disinterested. Daniel didn’t have a chance — he just didn’t know it,

Yet.

Someone Had to Turn the Tables on Him (So I Did It)

This is what it looks like when the predator becomes the prey

When I happened to be leaving our building the very same day I saw him entering the building with another woman.

A day later he was walking in with yet another woman. A few days after that I saw him coming toward the lobby with a third woman. I would learn that that third woman was actually his long-term girlfriend.

I found this out when he caught up with me one day, as was taking a walk. He greeted me like all was well and I played along. I learned that it really confuses overt narcissists when you seem unaffected by their open disrespect.

In this conversation, I caught him in several lies. Including the fact that the third woman wasn’t his ex-girlfriend, she was his girlfriend.

Soon after breaking the news to me Daniel actually said he was thinking about trading her up for me, classic triangulation.

His reason for it?

He was getting older and didn’t want to die alone and I “might be worth it”, he would “have to see” (meaning sleep with me).

I never chased him or did anything he anticipated I would do. I never acted or reacted to his behavior (or many lady friends). In fact, I maintained my cool and friendly demeanor.

So, he began chasing me.

He Chased Me Until I Caught Him

I chose to be a bit evil and teach this narc a lesson he’d never forget

I usually promote leaving narcissists alone but honestly, I was tired of taking the fucking high road and leaving it all up to karma. For once I decided to be the karma.

For once I was going to get revenge.

Not only for me and every narcissist I let get away with their bullshit but for the woman, he was cheating on because I could look at her and tell her self-confidence was broken.

And there was no doubt in my mind he was the cause.

So, I decided to play ball and tap into my own inner narcissism (we all have it). Not only did I allow him to flirt with me whenever we crossed paths, I mildly flirted back and left the door open.

But I never went out of my way to —

• pursue him
• contact him
• see him
• spend time with him, or
• interact with him

Whenever we saw each other, we saw each other.

It didn’t take long for him to start chasing me more aggressively

When he saw me he would ask me for my number.

At the time, I was happily off the grid so I initially didn’t have a working phone and when I finally got one I didn’t know the number. Well, Daniel got tired of the runaround (how ironic) and took matters into his own hands.

He started tracking me down until one day he caught up with me in the elevator. We flirted like we normally did and I got off the elevator on my floor and headed back to my apartment.

Daniel got off at the last second and walked up to me. He physically took my phone out of my hands and called his number. In other words, he gave himself my number — and I absolutely let him do that.

Everything Was Going According to Plan

He started texting me immediately

In our brief conversation, he mentioned picking up his two-year-old son from his mother’s house. Remember, I told you that day in his apartment Daniel told me he only had one child, a 19-year-old girl.

(I also found out Daniel was in his 40’s, as well.)

In case you haven’t figured it out he was lying so much to so many women he was actually having a hard time keeping track of which lies he told each of us, but I don’t forget information,

Especially information about people I’m interested in (for whatever reason). I didn’t expose him for this lie, I knew the time would come so I let the conversation ride.

He told me he was going to get his son and get back to me, and then he just stopped responding. It was 5 pm and I purposely waited to see if he would do exactly what he did — not reach back out.

By 9:30 the following morning I changed my number, as initially planned. I wasn’t pressed because I knew he would do this, overt narcs have to win by any means necessary and I had gotten away from him long enough —

He was going to take his win.

This is why I already had a plan set in place to take it right back once I changed my number, leaving our convo unfinished and hanging in the balance, even though we were supposed to be “arranging another date”.

I never showed up.

I left him feeling just as discarded as I (truthfully) felt when he stood me up. Things soured for him once he realized the little game he was playing, he was playing alone and somehow still losing.

Now It Was My Turn to Unmask Him — and Myself

It would take about a month or two for him to catch up to me again

And when he did he was stressed and clearly irritated (but trying to play it off by hiding it). I opened the door for him and said, “Hi Daniel” just as chipper as could be before walking into the building’s laundry room.

He went from walking towards the open elevator to abruptly turning around to follow behind me, with his phone in his hand, with a hint of desperation on his face.

Immediately Daniel started strenuously explaining how he tried to call me but nothing was happening; looking confused as if he didn’t know what a phone number that was no longer in service sounded like.

It was taking everything in me not to laugh right in his face because it really was glorious to see a narcissist, an overt narcissist at that, visibly being brought down a number of pegs,

And being the one responsible for it.

He was sweating, which was… interesting and he actually looked upset. Apparently, he doesn’t like being stood up and ghosted either, who knew?

I smirked at him and told him he was crazy for thinking I would ever take him seriously, right before laying out every lie he ever told me. From his age to his girlfriend.

But it was as I got to the worst lie of all, him hiding his son he walked away unable to hear anymore, cursing under his breath, and rushed into the elevator. Now, I did laugh, waving goodbye with a smile as I kept it moving.

Now, he’s bitter every time he sees me.

So much so that he refuses to look in my direction and is visibly strained whenever he does. Good, he deserves it. That’s what happens when you keep fucking with good people, for no reason.

Checkmate.

© Linda Sharp 2022. All Rights Reserved.

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