Deluded custodians challenge

I Took a Bad Hill and Started Falling Up A Mountain

Royalty only mountaineering adventures

Ann James has a lot to answer for. She has come back from her scribbly sojourn with a violent streak not dissimilar from the early ‘explorers.’ She is demanding we stick flags in molehills and make mountains under kilts:

I understand none of the rules and my head hurts at the thought of scrambling myself onto her wavelength. This is my attempt to summit the un-summitable.

Australia is pretty flat. The famous British chef who hadn’t yet passed his final TAFE exams but was the leader of his sailing team, Captain Cook, found it about 70,000 years after it was discovered. Copyright hadn't been invented yet. Neither had the Queen of down under, Raine, who crawled down the drain and an Aunty she became.

Guvna Bourke declared Orrstralia ‘Terra Nullius’ in 1835, cos he didn't count Aboriginal people as people, and wanted to do a whole lot more lootin’ and pillagin’. But just like the sailing chef discovered, stealing a country wood knot always be smooth sailing.

Smooth sailing would not be achieved until the sequel, Australia 2, won the America’s cup in 1983. The Prime Minister of the day, Hawkie, summed it up best:

But bosses were still bums — more often arseholes — and no amount of white people floating quickly around the ocean would change that. Not when the big boss still wears a crown and issues orders from a castle 10,000 miles away.

Bob Hawke has his own beer now, but unfortunately it tastes like arsehole. I prefer to drink local, so I drink Kosciuszko Pale Ale, cos it’s made from exactly where I am now standing:

Mt Kosciuszko, Australia’s highest hill.