I Thought This Was Another Depressive Episode

Turns out it was something else……

As most of you know, I’ve added a lot to my plate this year. First, in February, I decided to open a t-shirt business with my husband, then I started recording for my podcast in March, and in April, I launched it. Then in July, I self-published my poetry book. And on top of all that, I have my 9 to 5, my family, managing my YouTube channel, running my blog, and I’ve been dealing with postpartum. It has finally gotten to me.

People would always ask how I managed to do everything, and my answer was that I couldn’t do all this without the help and support of my husband. It also helps that for my 9 to 5, I work from home, so I don’t spend time commuting. I thought I was balancing everything well and managing my time wisely. I thought I was taking enough breaks, but now I’m burnt out, and I had no idea.

So, a few weeks ago, I started to notice a change in myself. I was getting moody, or my mood would shift up and down. My energy was low, and I lost motivation to do anything; when I had to edit a podcast episode, it would take me hours, sometimes, I didn’t even want to record an episode, and I was constantly tired, so all I wanted to do was sleep. Also, I was seeking comfort in food. I thought I was going through a depressive episode again.

I tried different things that I thought would help me feel better, but none worked. So, I told my husband it was time I started therapy again. I signed up for therapy through my job, as they provide as a benefit with the EAP or Employee Assistance Program. During my first session, I explained everything to the therapist, everything I had going on and how I was feeling, and she told me that it sounded like I was experiencing burnout. She said that the symptoms of burnout are often the same as depression.

My assignment was to be really honest with myself and decide what the goals of each project are. Then decide which projects I could scale back on. As much as I wanted to do everything, I couldn’t because, as my therapist told me, I cannot give 100% to everything. And I want to share my experience to help anyone out there who may be feeling the same.

I’m still feeling the burnout; I’m writing this as I experience this to share my journey. I had my second therapy session, and my next assignment is to do things that fill me up. My therapist said I give a lot, and it doesn’t sound like to do things to fill me up. So, I have to make sure I’m doing self-care.

With Love, Heidy

Have you experienced burnout? If so, what helped you?

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