CAN’T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG?
I, The Giant Monster Ravaging New York City, Think We Should Agree To Disagree
Because I do not plan to stop ravaging New York City
When did we become so polarized?
Since the day I splashed out of the East River and surprised everyone at UN Headquarters — God rest their souls — I’ve been taking flak from the haters and bigots who don’t recognize my right to exist in a way that works for me.
Sorry, that’s not how a free society functions. We don’t get to deny the rights of our fellow citizens, be they big or small, mammal or reptile, mutant or regular, just because we don’t like the way they’re living their lives.
There’s a lot of discussion these days about the appropriate role of enormous radioactive “monsters” in society, and it’s an important conversation to have.
But in today’s world more than ever, we need to be able to disagree on issues and still understand and respect one another, whether we’re puny humans or awesome 400-foot fire-breathing lizards from the depths of the Marianas trench.
We need to get past talking about who ate whose mom, or who stomped whose home into rubble. Both sides have legitimate concerns — do you think I like having 120mm armor-piercing rounds fired into my scales from point-blank range when I‘m tossing an Abrams tank into the harbor?
I don’t. It hurts, and not just physically but emotionally.
And let’s talk about the “m-word.”
The word “monster” comes with all kinds of negative baggage. When you use the word to describe a human, it’s always a Hitler or a Stalin. No one ever says, “Wow, that Betty White is a monster!” So as soon as you call me that, you’re already setting up the expectation that I’m evil and that I want to hurt you.
But I’m not looking to harm anyone, or at least not anyone specific. Sure, there might be some collateral damage when I’m setting your condo on fire with my mouth lasers or swallowing a PATH train, but isn’t that a small price to pay for freedom?
Maybe it’s time to put the m-word to bed.
It’s ironic that the MSM think nothing of using this offensive term while scolding me for my personal choices and politicizing what should be a non-issue. That kind of virtue signaling helps no one, especially not you if I find out where you live.
Still, my point here isn’t to start another argument. We’ve all had enough of that in the last few years.
No, I just think we all need to grow up and co-exist. It’s time to recognize that we’re not always going to agree on everything, and to move on. Especially if you’re in Brooklyn, because that’s where I’m headed next.
Peace out.
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