COVID CONFESSIONS

I, Superspreader

Look, COVID perfection is not possible

Until I got COVID and spread it, I had a lot of opinions and judgments about Those Idiots Who Spread COVID.

Count me COVID Woke and cut down to size.

I won’t rehash the entire, tedious chain of events that led me to become an Omicron b.5 superspreader. In short: I was in a play and I had tested negative for three days, despite symptoms and exposure, so I showed up on opening night. I spread the virus around, suspecting I had it but without proof.

The next day, I discovered I was COVID positive, so I didn’t go for night two — but believe me when I tell you I wanted to go.

I was not the only superspreader on opening night.

Three other COVID+ actors definitely had COVID that night, so by my estimation, the play was a super spreading event.

The article, “Welcome to Your COVID Nightmare: I’m officially a superspreader”, has gotten a range of interesting comments. Most are supportive.

By far the most popular comment, however, is sarcastic:

Gosh, I hope nobody dies.

The Fog of War

Typhoid Mary was a carrier of typhus* who refused to believe germs were real. She was a superspreader because she refused to stop working as a cook. She couldn’t afford to give up her profession and had to be jailed.

We modern superspreaders, however, are sometimes conscientious types who suffer from the ‘fog of war’ syndrome, are tired, and/or make one false move.

The fog of war refers to generals who make poor decisions during battles, ones they might later reflect on and regret. At the time, however, the decisions seemed reasonable.

Since March 2020, I’ve been meticulous about mask-wearing, isolating, avoiding any public places, and monitoring COVID conditions.

After all, I used to work in public health.

I was also — internally — judgy about everyone who didn’t comply.

*Please see commenter post re: Typhoid Mary. Much more to this story.

One of our actors got very sick. He’s in his late 70s and he showed up for the opening night, having tested negative. Like me, he didn’t come for night two because he tested positive.

I hope our community theatre adopts a policy and set of guidelines, an algorithm if you will, about what to do next time this situation happens and I’ll surely bring it up at our next meeting.

What I find strange is how many readers of “Welcome to Your COVID Nightmare” seemed to have missed the subtext:

COVID is complicated, and people are imperfect.

One False Move

I got exposed to COVID either at a luncheon (indoors, no masks) or at the play rehearsals. I’ll never know.

The person who likely exposed me at lunch got it at church and had no symptoms when I lunched with her.

My fellow actor did have symptoms, but negative COVID tests.

I took an unnecessary risk: I should not have eaten in a restaurant.

In fact, looking back — I and every other actor in this play should’ve taken a vow to isolate completely in the weeks leading up to the performance.

Getting my nails done and hair cut for the play would’ve been a no-go, although I did mask up fully on both occasions.

We are met with a confounding problem: getting COVID and spreading COVID can boil down to the “one false move syndrome.”

Unlike Boris Johnson, I did not hold a party.

Frank’s Missing Fire Extinguisher

When things go wrong, blame is often the knee-jerk reaction. If someone, preferably someone easily scapegoated, can be held accountable why then, it’s preventable.

Problem solved.

One cast member, “Frank,” had his house burn down three weeks into rehearsals. He was grilling on an old gas grill and the hose caught on fire.

When most people hear about Frank’s tragedy, they feel sympathy. Some might still wonder why it happened. What was Frank’s mistake?

He should’ve checked the grill for leaks!

Where was his fire extinguisher!?

When did he call the Fire Department?

As a former technical writer on fire safety, I can report that Fire Safety specialists have written the equivalent of a library’s worth of tomes detailing every possible scenario to prevent fires.

Tragic fires, like the Worcester Cold Storage Fire of 1999, still occur. It’s hard to believe that in modern times a fire could take the lives of six highly trained men, but it happens.

No one was to blame, and in its aftermath, the fire safety code was once again updated.

The point is that humans are fallible even with massive amounts of training and guidelines. So when it comes to COVID, where guidelines are fuzzy, we don’t make the best decisions.

Where Is the Public Health Leadership?

National public health leadership on COVID is sorely lacking in America in the summer of 2022.

Americans are tired of doing the right thing, and many of us never bothered to do it in the first place.

I’ll admit, I feel a little defensive about my boneheaded and misguided luncheon, but I just talked to a friend who spent all weekend socializing without a mask — and he’s been a mask-wearing, isolating hero for three years.

He admitted he is tired.

The problem isn’t Typhoid Mary, it’s COVID fatigue and lack of rules, laws, and guidelines.

Maybe we should consider nuanced discussions, instead of placing the onus on individuals to make smart decisions about COVID while mired in a fog?

Going Forward

Like my friend who just had a wild 3-day weekend of socializing, I suspect many are out and about despite COVID being ubiquitous.

Personally, I am crossing restaurants off my list and only getting take-out.

I’ve been isolating for the last 6 days. I don’t even go to the bank to deposit a check with no human contact, because I’m still testing positive and shedding COVID.

I’ve told anyone who might’ve been exposed, including friends of my husband. My husband continues to test negative now, a week after I tested positive.

I text with other exposed persons regarding status, health, and so forth.

My goal is to broach the topic with the community theatre group, mentioning someone else’s bright idea — I’ve found new ideas go over much better when they are presented as Not Mine — to put some guidelines into place for the sake of everyone’s health.

In the interim, I will add: until you’ve walked in a different pair of moccasins, you might want to consider not judging their choices.

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Jean Campbell recently started her first Substack newsletter to laser focus on getting her book, City of Lies: A Street Hustler’s Omaha Journey published.