I Stopped Fearing Criticism. Here’s What Happened.

It’s demoralising to get criticised, but it’s unavoidable. Here’s how I learned to embrace criticism, not fear it.

Face it. Criticism is a reality we all face, not just from people we know, but from strangers online as well.

Every time we do something, people are watching and judging. Some of them come up to us and tell us straight up:

• That wasn’t good, you should do better
• [xxx] did a lot better than that
• You shouldn’t start this, it’s risky
• You’re so cringe!

I don’t think anyone enjoys being criticised. We’re being told we aren’t good enough, and that’s demoralising in itself.

But, is criticism all that bad?

Why Criticism Is Good

I’ve learned to embrace criticism, not fear it.

Improvement

Getting criticised means people think you have room to improve.

The last three words are the most important. They think you can, so try. Before, getting criticised was a sign that I was a failure and no one would ever praise me ever again.

I was so easily demoralised, and one single sentence of criticism could derail me entirely.

If you don’t get criticism, you haven’t put yourself out there enough.

So be glad you have.

People are seeing your work, they’re paying attention to you, and that’s awesome! I’ve learned to take criticism more lightly and use it to understand how I can improve.

Make It Fuel You On

They think you can’t succeed? That you aren’t good enough?

Prove them wrong. Make their criticism fuel you, even more than before. Wait for that moment when you can say ‘I told you so’.

I’ve found this mindset encourages me to keep working and never give up,

Because giving up is letting the nay-sayers win.

Often, I find myself pushing myself harder than ever before, and often I exceed my expectations.

Reflect

Often, criticism isn’t unfounded.

What makes them say what they said? Is there merit to it? If so, think of ways to improve, and why what you’ve been doing hasn’t been working.

If it is truly unfounded and purely out of spite or jealousy, ignore it. Don’t let it distract you from your dreams.

Reflection is one of the best ways to improve, and criticism prompts that reflection.

Get Tougher

Imagine every time someone says something mean to you, you get visibly upset, or stop working on what you were doing.

You’re showing people you’re weak.

It’s like having a ‘destroy me’ button for people to click.

Take deep breaths, and stay strong.

Give Constructive Criticism

Understanding how to help others with better criticism is important. It not only makes us more likeable but also genuinely helps the recipient.

Criticism like:

• You’ll never succeed
• You should try something else, this isn’t your thing
• I don’t like [xxx] of what you’re doing

These sentences aren’t helpful to the recipient, nor encouraging.

I think we often don’t notice what words we use and don’t mean to be demeaning, but we end up sounding like it.

Actions, Not Personality

Focus on telling people what they can do to improve, instead of telling them things like ‘you’re lazy’, or ‘you’re stupid’.

If you wouldn’t like getting criticised that way, don’t do it to others.

It makes you sound much more encouraging, and the specifics help the person improve.

Balance

Find something you can commend the person on. What is one or two things they did well?

It is quite demoralising when to get bombarded with five things you did poorly. By adding one positive thing at the beginning, you encourage the person to keep improving.

For example:

• Someone didn’t finish [xxx] on time “Your attention to detail is commendable, but consider refining your time management to meet deadlines more consistently”
• The presentation was unclear “I can tell you put a lot of work into this, but adding more data and details will make it more informative and interesting.”

The criticism sounds nicer already!

Conclusion

We must learn to embrace criticism to improve and grow. Fearing it doesn’t help.

Criticism can be a valuable guide, pointing us towards areas of development.

Keep embracing criticism; it’s the key to unlocking your full potential.

Remember, the ability to handle criticism positively is not just a skill, but a mindset that propels us forward towards our goals.

I hope you found this article insightful. Thanks for reading!

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